Yans was a bit slow to lose the training wheels.
I never really gave much thought as to why, but in retrospect, I'm sure it's because the cute, retro-style bike that her mom fell in love with and bought a few years ago, weighs more than she does.
But on the last night I spent visiting my friend, Rachel in Texas (The same night I was starting to feel painfully homesick.) Josh texted a video to me titled, "Our last, first-time bike rider!"
I watched the whole thing, even though it was shot with an iPhone at dusk, making it impossible to really see anything more than the faint silhouette of my youngest kiddo, riding back and forth in the road out in front of our house on what looked like Cole's, old Spiderman bike.
But I could hear Josh saying, "Go Annie, pedal, pedal, pedal....Yaaaaaaa, you're a bike rider!"
It made me cry.
It made me (irrationally) irritated at my husband for encouraging her to ride a bike with no training wheels for the first time when her mom wasn't even home to see it.
It made me (irrationally) mad at myself for being in Texas.
It made me realize (just like Josh) that we'll never have a first-time bike rider in this house again.
The next day after I got home, she and Josh made sure I got to see her ride, but it was late and I was tired so I didn't grab my camera.
And I've heard her riding it a few times since when the weather permitted and when Josh was working outside - but I was always upstairs in my office, with what felt like way too much work on my hands to go and watch.
But I'm right, smack-dab in the middle of reading, Hands Free Mama right now.
I don't have problems with disconnecting from my cell phone (The technology of an iPhone is wasted on me.) or social media, (I never got connected in the first place.) but I do have BIG problems with knowing when to step away from work.
I always have, because I've always based my self-worth on my work ethic.
But the book talks about making a choice to disconnect from the busyness of life and all that busyness costs us, so that we can connect with those things that matter most.
Thankfully, the book doesn't talk about making a one-time, monumental change, but instead, talks about making small, daily, sometimes 60-seconds at a time kinds of choices that accurately reflect who and what you value most.
So on Saturday, just as the stress from my I-shouldn't-be-working-on-weekends-but-I-have-a-deadline-to-meet-mentality was about to send me over the edge, Annie came running inside the house and asked me to come watch how good she had gotten at turning her bike. And just as I found myself starting to fake a smile and say, "How about later Yans, I'm swamped with work right now?", I decided instead to make a 15-minute choice that accurately reflected who and what mattered most to me...
And as I followed her around the neighborhood, all I could think about was how the work and the dishes and the laundry and the appointments and the obligations were always going to be here.
But my seven year-old daugher won't.
Because next month she turns eight, which doesn't sound so little anymore.
And next year she turns nine, which means my time with her will be halfway done.
And though it makes my stomach hurt to think about it, I'm not even guaranteed that much time.
So tonight, I'm going to ride my bike into town for dinner with my family.
Even though I should be working.
Hooray for Yans...and a double hooray for you. I get it....now that mine are 30 and 27.....wish I could have said that when they were 7, and 10. Yea you....and heck back in the dark ages...I didn't even have the internet, social media as my excuse.
Posted by: janel | January 26, 2014 at 02:17 PM
Good for you, enjoy your dinner!
Posted by: Tina | January 26, 2014 at 03:55 PM
I know where you are coming from and usually mine want me to look at something when I'm in the middle of the kitchen cooking dinner where I really can't leave the stove. I'm glad you took the ti me to watch her and I think 15 minutes is a good break for you to be away from the computer to get some fresh air as well. Regards Kathy A, Brisbane, Australia
Posted by: Kathy | January 26, 2014 at 04:40 PM
So great! Thanks for sharing and reminding me of this.
Posted by: SharonKC | January 26, 2014 at 04:55 PM
She doesn't even have a jacket on. What kind of weather have you been having?
Posted by: Jeannie Denney | January 26, 2014 at 04:59 PM
Isn't that such a great book. I find myself in on the verge of tears quite often as I read through there. It is a powerful reminder of all that I want for my own life...and that their time with me is too short and will be gone in a blink. Congrats to Annie!
Posted by: april nowotny | January 26, 2014 at 05:36 PM
OMG! 9 is halfway to done?! I tried desperately to get my daughter to agree to not turning 9 and then 10. If I'd thought of it in those terms, I don't think I could handle it.
In the meantime, congrats to Annie for accomplishing one of a kid's big milestones-I think after walking, it's the first to real independence. You can tell, I don't want to think about driving ;-).
How will you feel when she loses her last tooth? We've only got 2 more to go and then the Tooth Fairy will be done here. Thankfully, you and your family will have endless documentation of their real, everyday lives to help them hold on to their memories.
Posted by: Mallory | January 26, 2014 at 07:59 PM
Hey there,
Jen at Organized Jen .com just wrote about setting an actual work schedule while work at home... It may be of interest to you.
Proud of you for taking the time with Annie!
Posted by: aimee B | January 26, 2014 at 08:32 PM
I think I can see you struggling to put work aside for spending precious time with your chidlren. You did a good job this week with the cycling and The Mental Health Day. I want to encourage you to see every decision like that as great and just ignore the times you chose work. Sometimes you have to - for your mental health! And honestly, I've found if you keep paying, they keeping turning up: for meals, for impromptu shopping trips, for holidays/vactaions. So try to be more positive than 'at 9, it's half over'. I was taken out for dinner for the first time by my 25 year old last week. It's all good - some of it just takes a while. From here, it looks like you're doing a really good job. Despite the bickering!!!
Posted by: Victori | January 27, 2014 at 05:31 AM
This post really resonates with me. My phone is a HUGE distraction. I have immediately purchased that book. Thanks for sharing. Sweet Annie looks great on her bike :)
Posted by: Kelli Davis | January 27, 2014 at 08:25 AM
I am reading that book too and am loving it.
Can I say that it is hard to look at Annie riding her bike with short sleeves when we are at home with school closed again because it feels like -35. :)
Makes me want to hop on a plane and go hang out in Oregon for awhile.
Yay for taking the time to be with her. The stuff on our mental to-do list will never be done anyway so we may as well enjoy our kiddos.
Posted by: Sara M | January 27, 2014 at 08:30 AM
"And next year she turns nine, which means my time with her will be halfway done."
LOL! Eighteen years ago... I found myself saying to our oldest son..."Next week your turning nine and that means half the time you'll spend in my house is done." and each time I said it I started to cry. After about the tenth time, Walter looked at me and said, "Well if your going to cry every time you think of it...it's going to be a looooong nine years." But, it wasn't...it passed in the blink of an eye. Enjoy this time!!!
Posted by: Linda | January 27, 2014 at 09:03 AM
perfect photos and sentiment.
and yes, as you know, it goes way too fast!
you are such a great mommy~!
xoxo
tara
Posted by: tara pollard pakosta | January 27, 2014 at 09:15 AM
It's cold in Kansas this morning, but your post made my heart warm. I love you and Annie. (OK, all 5 of you. I would surely love the oldest guy if I knew him.)
Posted by: nancy boothe | January 27, 2014 at 09:35 AM
Wow, Anne turns 8. I was following you well before Annie was born...way back before photography...yikes...I can't believe how time flies. It's so important that we participate in those fleeting but important moments - they're gone in a flash. You never know about the moments missed until you actually take the time to NOT miss them - then you're left wondering why you didn't start NOT missing them much sooner because it enriches our lives so much. Live and learn! Great post.
Posted by: Penny Maggio | January 27, 2014 at 09:55 AM
Maybe she won't move out at 18! Waaaahhh! She's just a baby! Slow down!
Posted by: Kelli Williams | January 27, 2014 at 01:47 PM
When I landed on your home page today (because I clicked over from the Clicking Mom's Click Away retreat page...which I'm considering only because you'll be presenting), there was a quote saying how if you could express with words, you wouldn't need to lug a camera around (or something close). And I immediately thought how wrong that was---because you ARE such a talented writer.
I don't get to read blogs as much as I once did...but whenever I get back here, I'm blown away by your ability to tell a story, in both words and photos.
And I'm similar, in terms of work being the bigger pull than smartphone/socialmedia, and glad to hear Hands Free Mama is still worth reading. Thanks for sharing this!
Posted by: Deirdre | January 28, 2014 at 07:31 AM
YES! to Annie! (great job, kiddo!) to Josh (for being a great dad!) to you (for knowing what was important and acting on it!) I'm head over heels for your sweet family. And your gorgeous photos.
Posted by: Stephanie @ La Dolce Vita | January 28, 2014 at 09:09 AM
This made me tear up in the best way possible. Thanks.
Posted by: Christy Bridwell | January 31, 2014 at 05:40 PM
This post! All of it! It made my heart leap. And turn. And ache! Why do our baby birds have to grow so fast! Love your words and work! It's been a long time since I have stopped by. So glad I did today....eventhough I should be working! :)
Posted by: Jacque | February 11, 2014 at 08:16 AM
Love your words! Thank you so much for sharing this wisdom!
Posted by: Melinda~ | February 19, 2014 at 12:54 PM