The year I graduated from college, I decided I was going to do Ross's birthday party up big - the way I had always dreamt of doing, but could never afford.
So I took him down to a local costume shop where they dressed him up like Uncle Sam (Despite my pleas/threats, he wouldn't point at the camera like good ole' Uncle Sam.) and made color (aka, expensive) birthday invitations that said, "I want YOU at my birthday party!" to send to everyone we knew.
And then I rented a helium tank so we could have a bazillion balloons and hired not one, but two clowns, hosted a BBQ, had gunny-sack races, and bought Ross more presents than I had ever bought him before (or since.)
And a few years later when I asked him which of his birthday parties had been most memorable to him (feeling totally assured that he would respond with a nostolgic, "Well of course mom, my favorite birthday ever was my 4th birthday when you went all out with balloons and clowns and presents galore to make it the most special birthday a boy could ever have!") he said, "The birthday party Nana threw at the pizza parlor with the Power Ranger cake!"
Which is precisely why none of the other little kids in this house have ever had a clown at any of their parties.
Fast forward a few years and Ross (who never asks me for anything) asked if I would design his 21st birthday invitation using the same Uncle Sam photo I had used for his 4th birthday.
And I was happy to oblige (except for the part where he insisted I mention his "future inebriation" on the invitation.)
And then he asked if I was coming up to Seattle for his birthday.
I laughed and insisted that he didn't want his mom showing up and raining on his 21st birthday parade, but he just said, "Yes I do, I want my mama, and my Grandmama, and my Auntie all to come to my party!"
And so little Roscoe-T is 21 today.
But I'm not in Seattle to celebrate it with him.
And though that decision seemed logical when I made it, (Its an 8-hour drive, I've got a military function I need to attend with Josh on Saturday and we already have plans to go up to Seattle in May.) I'm really kicking myself in the butt for it this morning.
I love you Ross.
And since I can't be there with you, I'm just going to sit here and feel sorry for myself, while making a list of 21 things that I love about you...
1. I love your hugs because it feels so strangely wonderful to be hugged by a child of mine that is bigger than I am.
2. I love the fact that you are the kind of person who would get down on one knee to talk with that older woman you were transporting at the hospital and that your eyes would well up when she told you about her husband recently passing away.
3. I love the way you laugh and how you make everyone else around you want to laugh too.
4. I love that even though most girls your age like to date total jerks, you are still choosing to be a nice guy.
5. I love that you are a deep thinker.
6. I love that I'm #1 on the 'favorites' list of your cell phone.
7. I love that you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings - even if its a woman that is way to old to be hitting on you.
8. I love that you can recite most of my 'life lesson' speeches verbatim.
9. I love how witty you are.
10. I love you for telling me about that book that you bought that you made me promise not to tell anyone about. (I haven't told anyone about it.)
11. I love that we can both be happy as clams for hours, driving in the car together and listening to good music.
12. I love how old people notice and welcome and enjoy your personality.
13. I love it that when someone pays me a compliment (by saying something like, "Your mom raised a fine young man.") that you text me to let me know.
14. I love the loyalty you show towards your Grandma.
15. I love that you listen to me and respect my opininion, even if you disagree with it.
16. I love that you are willing to look at your flaws and that you work hard to change them.
17. I love that you can laugh at yourself.
18. I love how you make everyone around you feel appreciated.
19. I love that you still tell me I'm beautiful any chance you get.
20. I love the kind of man you are becoming.
21. I love that I could go on and on and on listing things that I love about you.
Hope your 21st is amazing (and safe) Roscoe-T.
Oh, and my sister (who lives in Seattle) and my mom (who went up to Seattle to visit my sister and Ross) took Ross out for a birthday breakfast this morning and sent me these pictures...
What a fabulous post and tribute to your son! Happy Birthday Ross!
Posted by: MichelleGB | April 12, 2013 at 07:04 AM
Awesome. And Awesome! You have raised a fine young man!
Posted by: Stephanie | April 12, 2013 at 07:05 AM
This is amazing! Ross was a little bit younger than my son is now when I started reading your blog. Hard to believe that cute kiddo is all grown up! A very very Happy Birthday to Ross. Good job on raising that nice young man, Karen!
Posted by: Stephanie @ La Dolce Vita | April 12, 2013 at 07:14 AM
I love your relationship with your son!! What a beautiful thing!!
And Ross is amazing, because his mom is amazing!!!
Happy 21st Birthday!!!
Posted by: Stacey from Texas Panhandle | April 12, 2013 at 07:21 AM
happy happy birthday ross!!!! i love how much you love your mom!
Posted by: stacy | April 12, 2013 at 07:27 AM
so amazing. SO so amazing.
Happy Birthday to a great guy & happy day to a momma who's shown love beyond measure & is reaping what she's sewn <3
Posted by: Ada | April 12, 2013 at 07:52 AM
My son is 8 and I pray that I am able to say the same things about him as he gets older. Most days I worry that I am just not doing enough of the right things to help him along. He is amazing though and I need to have patience with both of us and faith in God's hand in raising him. Thanks for sharing this. A very, very happy birthday to Ross and "job well done!" to you!
Posted by: Paula S. | April 12, 2013 at 08:06 AM
oh i adore this post - happy bday Ross!!!!!!!! The best thing about having a young mom, is being able to party with her. I treasure those memories!! even if it was that my mom out partied me and I was begging to go home and sleep Happy 21st!
Posted by: Jennifer S | April 12, 2013 at 10:13 AM
I love how at 21, he still wants him mom to attend his birthday party. He's such a sweetie!!! How do you get such a wonderful son?
Posted by: Mannie | April 12, 2013 at 02:14 PM
I got all teary when he said he wanted all his important ladies!
Hope he has a great birthday and that you get to see him soon!
Posted by: Kelli | April 12, 2013 at 02:47 PM
Aww, Happy Birthday Ross!! Have FUN BEING 21!!!!! (but not too much...lol.)
Posted by: kat-in-texas | April 12, 2013 at 03:11 PM
He looks so grown up now! Happy 21st birthday Ross (who has such an amazing mom and family too!)
Posted by: sharon | April 12, 2013 at 06:50 PM
Happy Birthday Ross!! You're amazing!
Posted by: sasha farina | April 12, 2013 at 08:06 PM
Oh how this made me wish I had kids. So awesome! Happy Birthday Ross!!
Posted by: Nancy Wyatt | April 13, 2013 at 12:18 AM
Happy birthday, Ross.
Posted by: Jennifer | April 13, 2013 at 04:30 AM
Happy 21st Birthday Ross. What a wonderful job you have done raising a amazing young man.
How wonderful to get this in writing!!! And so hard to believe when they start to grow up, where does the time go.
Posted by: Nicky from Okotoks | April 13, 2013 at 06:00 AM
He's a good boy. You raised him right. :)
Posted by: Jennifer M. | April 13, 2013 at 08:48 AM
Happy Biryhday Ross you have an amazing mother who wanted the best for you even though she was a child herself. You have done yourself proud Karen as parenting is hard let alone when you are a single 19 year old. I take my hat off to you. Regards Kathy A, Brisbane, Australia
Posted by: Kathy | April 13, 2013 at 01:45 PM
Thanks for sharing your boy with us... he is one year older than my Trevor and so many times I feel like you are telling my story. I totally would sit and feel sorry for myself for not making the trip too. But... don't sit and sulk too long. You have too many blessings to share with the world, and Ross would want you to carry on... cuz you raised him that way.
Posted by: robin... you know the one... | April 13, 2013 at 01:45 PM
Happy Brithday Ross!! I can't believe he is 21, I first started reading your blog when he was 13 or 14.
Thanks for sharing him with us.
Posted by: Mary Ann Jenkins | April 14, 2013 at 05:42 PM
Love it! Happy Birthday Ross and....Karen you are such an inspiration!
Posted by: DanaL | April 15, 2013 at 07:40 AM