Chores & Allowances

As I mentioned before, I want to start sharing some of the things we're doing in this house that are working.

Not because I'm doing it all right (Truth be told, I'm doing a lot wrong.) or because I'm chock-full of good ideas (I can't take credit for most of these ideas because the bulk of them came from books or magazines or other mothers much wiser than myself.) but simply because I want to share what's working for us and because I want to gleam ideas from what's working around your house as well.

So periodically, I'm hoping to share one new thing that is working around here. I'll share why we're doing it, how we're doing it, and any other tips that I can think of that have helped us along the way.

And in return, I'm hoping you'll share with me what you're doing, why you're doing it, how you're doing it and any other tips you can think of that have helped in your success.

Sound fair?

Chores & Allowances

I've always been a parent who believes in chores. In fact Ross (who is celebrating his 21st birthday next month) always had chores growing-up, but for some reason, I've had a tough time getting the whole ball rolling on regular, daily household chores for these three little ones that are still at home.

Sure, we'd ask them to do things around the house, and sure, they had to clean their rooms, but never with any scheduled regularity or accountability.

I think part of that is because of my 'all or nothing' personality which led me to feel like until I had hours to devote to making a perfect and detailed chore list, a flawless and accurate method of tracking those chores, the time and patience to show the kids specifically how we wanted things done and a well thought-out allowance system to keep them motivated, that there was no sense in trying to instutue such a thing.

And I think the other part of the equation is my 'if you want something done right, do it yourself' mentality, which (let's be honest) isn't always the best approach - and in this situation, it was cheating my kids out of some pretty healthy life lessons in responsibility, spending habits and teamwork within a family.

So a few months back, Josh and I took a few minutes (not a few hours) to get this whole ball rolling.

I made the chore-list that hangs on the fridge:

And Josh Downs made the calendar (that also hangs on the fridge) where we sign-off daily on each of the kids chores:

And then together, we came up with an allowance system that works for us.

Basically, each of the kids gets $10 per week for their chores and since there are six chores per week (no chores on Sunday) that means that each time they miss a chore, they lose $1.50. (Technically, $1.66, but we just rounded it down to $1.50 for the sake of simplicity.)

And we decided on $10 per week because it's easy. 10% to charity = $1.00. 50% to savings = $5.00. And 40% for spending = $4.00. (I've heard of systems where the kids gets $1.00 per year, every week. So Annie would get $7 per week since she's seven, Courtney would get $10 since she's ten, etc. and that may be something we institute later - though that could get pretty spendy in the future when we've got three teenagers in the house.)

But for now, our $10 per week system is easy.

And we like easy around here.

Then, once a month, Josh tallies everything up, calls all the kids to the dining room table and tells them how much they earned. (We decided on doing it once a month because it's easier for us and quite honestly, the kids seem more motivated by the larger quantity of money that they see on a monthly basis in comparison to what they'd see on a weekly basis.)

So that means, if they do all of their chores each month, they've got $4.00 to give to the charity of their choice, $20 to add to their savings and $16 to spend as they like. (We try to encourage them to make wise spending choices, but ultimately, they can spend it on whatever they want.)

And all that money goes into individual jars with three clips inside that are labeled (with a Sharpie pen) 'tithing', 'spending', and 'savings.'

And those jars purposely sit on top of the piano where they're visible & accessible in the hopes that they will serve as a reminder & motivator.

So far, we're still reminding the kids about their chores each day, but for the most part, the chores seem to be getting done, with the exception of days when they aren't home/aren't home until late. (Since I'm the one who is home with the kids both before and after school, I feel like it's always me who is reminding/nagging the kids to wash out their lunch boxes, do their chores, start on their homework, etc., so recently, Josh started calling home almost every day after school, so HE could be the reminder/nagger instead of me.)

And that means that three nights a week, the dishes are done by someone other than myself or Josh...

And that means that there are fewer dust bunnies on the stairs...

And that means that I never have to take out the trash or the recycling again (although I never did that anyhow)...

And I think it also means that are kids are learning that it takes a lot of work to keep a household running smoothly and that a family who really loves and cares for one another will all step in to get those jobs done.

And sure, our system is not perfect and will probably undergo some updates and modification (I'm reading 'The Secrets of Happy Families' right now - thanks to the recommendation of Erin Cobb and will probably make some modifications as a result.) but it's a start.

And a start is a start.

So it's your turn. (What are you doing in the realm of chores and allowances that is working???)

Comments

[Julie Pilch]

My three girls pack their own lunchboxes apart from the sandwich every school day. They put their own washing away whenever it gets done ;). My oldest is solely responsible for her rabbit and gets an extra pound for looking after him without reminders. And all three of them help me with the dishwasher whenever i ask. We are gradually introducing more chores but it takes a while to implement them!

[Kelli]

I love that they all posed for photos while doing chores!
My teen has to put the dishes away, vacuum, and sweep. We are slowly trying to get her to make dinner one night a week.

[Aimee B]

We do something similar. Included in my kids chore charts are packing their bags for the next day. HUGE help for me. They havent been running around in the morning grabbing 'activity' things like their piano books or sports gear. Our kids earn $7 per week - a dollar for each day that has task listed most of them them related to picking up after yourself and preparing for the following day. IF the have done everything for every day of the week they earn a $3 bonus! If there is a day that they miss a task or two they get a 0.50 deduction for each task not completed. Good luck!

[Shannon]

We have been easing into the chore thing for awhile. We decided to give the kids an allowance a year or two ago but they didn't really have to do anything to get it. We did that because we were tired of having the kids constantly ask for things when we went out somewhere. By giving them allowance, we can say "Do you have your money with you?" whenever they ask for something. This shuts them up pretty quickly.

Anyway, I do believe that chores are a good thing for the kids and we have been working to implement them more & more. We have 3 kids-ages 10, 7, & 6. They have to clean their rooms whenever we ask. The 10 year old has to unload the dishwasher everyday. The 7 & 6 year alternate weeks....one takes out the recycling and unloads the silverware while the other one cleans the kids' bathroom. They switch weekly while our 10 year old has the same job all the time. Now there are days that I unload the dishwasher because I don't want to wait for them to get home from school.

Because they don't do a lot, they only get whatever their age is in money each month. They seem happy enough with that and don't complain so we're sticking to that for now.

I have to say that I love the idea of having your husband call each day to remind them. My husband likes to give the kids things to do and then I am always the one who has to follow through on it. I hate being the bad guy all the time.

[Judy]

I love this series you are doing! I have 3 kids - 14, 14 and 12. Several years ago we made a list of all the daily/weekly chores that the kids were responsible for, and then they sat down and divided them up between them. They switch about once a year - that way I'm not constantly trying to remember who should be taking out the trash. These chores are done because they are members of our family, and we all have to pitch in. They aren't paid, unless they do extra chores (this is mostly taken from Love & Logic).

As far as money goes, we looked at how much we spent on each child per year on things like clothes, school supplies, friends' birthday presents, and optional activities. We divided that by 12 and they get that amount on the first of each month. They have a savings account (for emergencies), a checking account and a debit card attached to it. It has worked beautifully! It's helpful for my budget, because it's the same amount each month - no surprises. Most importantly, my children are learning how to budget, how to separate out wants from needs, and how to save up for something they really want. They must donate 10% and save 10%. In the past, I routinely spent well over $150 on back to school stuff - new notebooks, new pens and pencils, new binders... Now that they have to pay for these things, they are content to rip out the used pages of a notebook from the last year and use a binder that may not be in mint condition. I think they each spent about $13 dollars last year. They look for shoes on sale, are far less concerned with brand named clothing, and understand that we can't have everything we want. My hope is that when they leave home, they will avoid some of the financial pitfalls that are so common.

[Michelle Adams]

I would love to know about the envelope system hanging on the fridge with the chore lists!!! Please and thank you! :)

[janel]

We are past this stage..but you know how I love Foster C. Here is a quick video that gives 3 different versions or philosophies for chores/allowances. Every family needs to do what works best for their particular family and style.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bsydYljpwZI

[Rachelle Sims]

Looks like its going good : ) and the photos crack me up!

We have chores that you have to do here simply because you're a part of the family, and then chores that you can get paid for if you complete them (so they're like a wage from a job and she can equate getting money from working). (Took this from Dave Ramsey) To Michelle Adams above, the envelopes on the fridge look like a form of the Dave Ramsey envelope system (google him for more info). We use that system. The budgeted amount for each category gets put into the envelope for the month (or week or however you run your budget) and once its gone, its gone. So I have a groceries envelope, gas envelope, restaurant envelope, clothing envelope etc). It really helps keep you on track for the budget and it "visually" lets you know when you're running low. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Dave Ramsey and have been working his plan for almost two years and am now debt free with the exception of my house : )

[Deirdre]

Oh---I have to share this idea from my friend Lori. Her rule is the kids can spend their $$ on whatever they want but they have to wait at least one week after deciding to spend it before they do it. I've asked my kids to wait one week a few times when they've wanted something I thought ridiculous, and usually they forget all about it or change their mind, but I haven't made it a "rule." It's a rule I could use for myself though!

[robin... the ND one who never finishes your class]

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU... from the bottom of my heart. I am taking this and running with it. There are a million ideas on pinterest and all over the web for how to do this stuff, but knowing it is something as simple as what you just described makes me giddy. Going to get moving for my 2 big girls and the baby will have to figure it all out as she gets bigger.

[Lisa]

At the risk of hinting at what a bad mother I am.... I had a daughter who was stealing money that lay around the house.... it wasn't that I wasn't offering pocket money, just that she had to complete tasks (actually just 1 task, clean her room) to get money.....
so after much grief I changed it so that they both get $10 a week - which is not dependant on anything, you can however earn a bonus $5 a week by keeping your room clean, you loose a dollar a day for every day it is messy. There is also an extra list of jobs, the stuff I hate like folding the socks and cleaning the windows(the easy ones) . My younger daughter made a table of these jobs and I assigned fees to each one, so if they need extra money for something they can earn it. Of course as a single parent working full time I have limited time, so I expect them to help with some daily chores with out payment - these are things like bringing down their washing (we have 2 stories) laying the table, unpacking their bag and /dishwasher and taking out the garbage if i ask..... for this they get the pleasure of clean clothes, lunch and dinner.

[Carrie]

Thank you so much for posting this, I've been thinking for a while I need to set up a system for my 9 & 7 year old but needed some inspiration! They already get £1 a week for keeping bedrooms tidy but to be honest we all forget or I forget to give them the money so we need some more structure in place. Thanks too for your line about 'if you want a job done properly do it yourself' - I think that is my problem, I just think it will be quicker and easier to do it myself but I am then neglecting to teach and train my kids in how to take responsibility and be accountable for it.

[JulieE]

We too separate chores and allowance. Chores are jobs that need to be done to keep the household running. My girls 10 and 13 are responsible for neat rooms, beds made in the morning, setting the table for meals, clearing the table, practicing their instrument, doing homework and folding laundry. I am gradually increasing their responsibility this year to loading the dishwasher and sorting and doing laundry. They also get allowance but it is not dependant on their chores. It could be taken away if they are not behaving however. We do use the "dollar for every year" approach so their allowance goes up every year. We deposit it directly from our checking account into savings accounts we had set up for them. They can go online and put the money into separate "pots", savings, spending, donations, etc. This way they have started to understand the function of a bank and savings. And we don't have to have so much money around the house.

[Sara Mangan]

Thank you Karen, for this idea. I am an all or nothing kind of girl too so I have never started it. I am going to use your idea. Great way to get things done around the house and have them learn about money. Is Annie able to strip her own sheets and put them in the washer? Just asking because I have a 6 year old and I'm not sure if she could do that yet. And it's one of the jobs I hate so I would love to have them do it. :) I too struggle with doing it myself because it gets done better. I need to get over that.

I got this idea from a friend but we are going on vacation so I am giving the kids "Dell Bucks" so spend on vacation. They earn them for being kind to each other, picking up without being asked, getting rewards in school, etc. It is working so well. They have been clearing the table without being asked and being a little kinder to each other. I may have to continue the system once we get home.

[ana roat]

Hi Karen-My parents didn't pay us to do what was considered our contribution to our home (chores). This included keeping our bathroom and bedroom picked up, setting and clearing the table at dinner, helping mom put laundry away, getting homework done and taking care of the dog. My parents believed that each member of our family had a responsibility to the place God gave us to call home. First lesson to be selfless and help eachother. Next to like what you did and do it well. Third to look for other ways to earn money for "special" stuff. My dad was generous and always gave us plenty so we really didn't need much money. Allowance was paid weekly with 1/2 to the pig and the other to the pocket. My older brother got $10, I got $7.50 and my little sister $5.00 (raises were given yearly). Hard work at school was rewarded with money too--$5.00 per A and all A's meant $100 to spend as we saw fit. We all had a savings account at the bank and to this day I still have my original saving book. Extra money was earned by helping the old man clean the garage, wash the cars, help build a garden project for mom (thank you Sunset magazine...) etc. My folks provided just about everything we needed until we got our first jobs and then they pulled back. Extras such as new outfits, make-up, movie tickets and special outings had to be within our budget or saved for. Our contributions to our home also changed to include all the laundry, making meals and grocery shopping (with a list from mom). I grew up happy and never felt deprived. My children grew up the same way and the other day I overheard my daughter tell the baby "one to the pig and the other to your pocket...! No one paid my mom and dad to provide us with a clean, safe and comfortable place to call our own. They loved us and we honored them by doing our part. It wasn't perfect but it worked.

Keep trying and don't beat yourself up. In the end they will get it...!

[♥Debbie]

Love this post so much Karen! Although my kids are all grown and out of the nest, they did grow up doing chores and earning an allowance and paying tithe.
Certain chores were expected as a contribution to helping the family household run more smoothly, while other chores/jobs earned them an allowance.
Now that my kids are adults and have careers of their own, they have told us several times how much they really appreciate that we took the initiative to help them from an early age to become responsible and to develop a strong work ethic! And they appreciate the value of a dollar and the hard work required to earn it!
Another life lesson/skill we instilled in our children was volunteering and giving back. It was not a job, but simply a way of life!

[Heather]

Have you thought about using a free online job chart system? I use myjobchart.com (I am not connected with them in any way except for being a happy customer) and once I started using it, I will never go back to the paper way again. I no longer have to worry about keeping on top of things like printing out the job charts for the week and remember how much they have earned and how much I need to give them etc. and there isn't the mess on the fridge (drove me crazy!). It can pretty much manage itself which really helps on those weeks that I just don't have the time and energy to do everything. The kids earn points as they complete their jobs. Those points can then be turned into money or to buy computer time etc. The points can also be split between charity, savings, spending. So now it isn't something that I have to remember to do regularly. I just remind the kids to get their jobs done each day and then when they want something like $10 for a toy or 1/2 hour computer time, they just go on and request that and it then removes the value from their points and if money, I give it to them right then. Anyways, just thought I would throw that out there. Since I have started using the online system (going on 2 years now I think) it has made this whole jobs/chores in our home soooo much easier to manage especially from the parents side of things.

[Janine]

Just a question about your system Karen:
Are there any rules surrounding the money that goes towards savings? When and how are they allowed to use that money?

[noelani]

we do a similar system...but when it comes to spending money on anything they have to think about it for 24 hours after announcing that they want/need it. then I will take them back to the store to get it if they still want it. helps them spend a little more wisely.

[Cathy]

Working out what to pay for allowances was tough - I went the age route - $1 for each year, so Ethan gets $6 and Ella $9. I think I'll have to have a cap - but I'm thinking I might change how I do it before then! You can spend the allowance on anything you want except candy. It has stopped them asking for trivial 'crappy' things - you can get it but it will come out of your own money. Ella saves all hers generally for doll purchases and Ethan doesn't really care and will offer his money to his sister at times! They are expected to help around the house - make their beds, clean their rooms, put away their folded clothes, put out the trash and so on. I need a better system of keeping track of specific jobs. Bought the book and just started reading it.
The one system which really seems to work for Ethan's behaviour at school is using lunch from home as a reward - he really wants to bring his lunch. If he is green or better at school then he can take his lunch the next day. If not, then cafeteria lunch and he looses his stuffed animals at bedtime - he and I both agreed on this, and it has definitely helped him be more consistent. Fun reading everyone else's ideas. Thank you!

[Khürt Williams]

How did you make the decision to set the savings target at 50%?

[Sarah]

Wanted to let you know that this post has stuck with me since I read it. What we were doing in our house wasn't working. We started your system last night! We'll see how it goes! Thanks for sharing.