I only made one New Year's resolution this year:
1. Be Still and know that He is God.
It's a verse I've heard a bazillion times, but it wasn't until I was singing that verse during the New Year's Eve service at church that it really hit me - and like a ton of bricks.
It really doesn't matter what my external circumstances are, my job is just to be still. Not to be physically still necessarily (though there are times when it's better to be still physically than to move into action) but more so, to be still in my mind.
Josh always says "It must be exhausting being you."
And it is.
My mind never quits.
When I should be enjoying time with my family, my mind is usually distracted, thinking about my to-do list. When I'm taking time off from work to relax, my mind is always riddled with guilt because of all that I should be doing. And when everyone else in the house is fast asleep, I'm usually still laying in bed with my mind racing in so many directions that I can hardly keep up with myself.
I can't make it stop (and it's been like this ever since I was little.)
The good news though is that I'm finally at a place in my life where I understand that I can't do it...but He can.
And so, that's what I intend to do this year (with His help of course.)
Be still and know that He is God. (I even ordered a necklace with the words 'Be Still' engraved in it.)
I remember being pregnant with Cole and praying that my ex-husband would come back and that our marriage would be ok. I just couldn't understand how it could be God's plan that I go through yet another pregnancy by myself and that I would raise yet another son on my own.
But God could see the whole playing field (I could only see my immediate surroundings.) and God's plan included Josh Downs. He just needed me to be patient (for five years) and he would bring him to me (on Delta, flight 1237.) He just needed me to settle my mind. To settle my worries. To rest in Him. To know that He is in control (not me) and that He is always at work.
He just needed me to "Be still and know that He is God."
And now I'm off to go jogging (even though I don't want to) because while 'being still' will indeed help my mind, it's not going to do much for these sausage legs.
Oh, and here's a few pictures Josh sent me...
He's on the far left.
That's him reading his Bible with a cup of coffee.
He's second from the right in that one.
And that's him on the far left at a ribbon-cutting ceremony.
And here's his New Year's resolutions (which he gave me permission to share.)
1. Have 'child-like' faith.
2. Love that Woman up one-side and down the other.
3. Wrap those kids in my arms daily and squeeze until they're purple.
4. Learn to play the uke.
5. Run a marathon.
6. Learn to fly an airplane or helicopter.
7. Stop using the F-word.
8. One year from now, don't regret a single day from 2012.
And if you're reading this Josh Downs...I'm so lucky to be 'that woman.'
Well said girly! Love your resolution and Josh's made me teary! Such a good variety! I think we should all start squeezing our kids until they're purple!:)
Posted by: Addie | January 04, 2012 at 01:05 PM
With the exception of being years apart in age, I'm pretty sure we're the same person. :) My mind never slows down...and on a different level I've wished before that I would legitimately get sick so I could take a day off and not feel guilty. Thank you for sharing both yours and Josh's resolutions, I may alter some to make them my own. And FYI...that saying you posted the other day in your Triathlon post...it's now sitting at my desk on a sticky not staring at me daily. God Bless!
Posted by: Valerie | January 04, 2012 at 01:07 PM
Dear Karen, love that you share your walk with God. It's inspiring and ... well ... just lovely. Makes me smile and my heart swell. God is so good.
Posted by: young nanny | January 04, 2012 at 01:13 PM
I wonder how many of us "mom-type-people" could say that about ourselves -- that our brains never slow down, and the guilt is non-stop. I know that I am one of those people. I absolutely LOVE your single resolution (and Josh's more lengthy list!) Karen, I've admired you from scrapbooking days . . . through photography . . . and now through FAITH. You're a constant inspiration to me!!
Posted by: Leslie @ {Tiny Wings} | January 04, 2012 at 01:33 PM
I loved this post Karen - it's a journey, right? Your resolution is true to you and heartfelt. And Josh's are pretty special too - love 2 and 3 the best!
Posted by: Stephanie @ La Dolce Vita | January 04, 2012 at 01:47 PM
Karen....seriously, God is using you in a BIG way. And it's so cool. I love, love, love that verse and it hit me the way it did you last year and remains to be a key verse to me. Your post made me all teary and then I literally laughed out loud when I read Josh's resolution #7. =) Thanks for sharing and we are praying for Josh & all the guys! Thanks for sacrificing for us Josh Downs! :)
Posted by: Julie Long | January 04, 2012 at 02:09 PM
Thank you so much for sharing!! Seriously, isn't that what we all need to do.... Be still and know He is God. Thank you, thank you!!
Posted by: Sharesa | January 04, 2012 at 02:23 PM
Karen,
I absolutely love reading your posts! Thanks for sharing.
I generally never make resolutions, as I feel I'm just setting myself for self inflicted failure.....but this year, I made a resolution to stop using the F-word. I don't consider myself a potty mouth, but that word; that one single word. It's going to be a work in progress for the next 362 days!
I've been meaning to ask, because I dont' remember reading, when do you expect to have Josh home? how long were his deployment orders? sorry to be nosey, just hoping he gets home soon and safely!
Posted by: Juli P | January 04, 2012 at 02:27 PM
Wonderful! Made me cry and remember my "be still" moment (http://ericksonall-stars.blogspot.com/2010/08/normal-is-so-overrated.html). Thank you for sharing!!!!
Posted by: patti | January 04, 2012 at 02:41 PM
Beautiful post Karen. Wonderful resolution, something I need to work on. Always a pleasure to come to your site.
Posted by: AllisonK | January 04, 2012 at 02:42 PM
Amen sister! Love it!
Posted by: Jen S | January 04, 2012 at 02:43 PM
Karen, we've never met, but I include your family in my prayers regularly. Thank you for this post. It really hit home with me. Thank you for sharing your heart with us.
Posted by: Lynn | January 04, 2012 at 03:34 PM
I am placing the 'blame' on you! I was printing, yes, printing all 180 pages of the wonderful instalment of Making the Shot when I ran out of ink about 3/4 of the way through. I realized the photos were messed up because of this. So I did some research and made an executive decision to buy a Kobo e-reader. Now I will put all my book on there and not feel the need to print every darn thing.
I love seeing the photos Josh sends. Makes me thankful, once again for what I have.
Posted by: Kelli | January 04, 2012 at 03:45 PM
Karen thanks so much...for sharing it all. You always inspire me. Josh Downs...thanks for sharing your pictures, thanks for all your sacrifices and thanks for sharing your list...it made my heart smile.
Posted by: Corrine | January 04, 2012 at 03:56 PM
I LOVE that your new years resolution was a Bible verse because mine was too!! Mine is: "Commit your activities to the Lord and your plans will be achieved" Proverbs 16:3 Instead of spending the year mapping out my own goals, Im letting God map them for me:)
Man I feel like we are so on the same frame of mind here! Love it!
And thank you for sharing the pictures of Josh, they really are an eye opener for so many of us who do not have anyone in the military. Thank you JOSH!!!
Posted by: Melinda~ | January 04, 2012 at 04:01 PM
The whole post just makes me want to bawl. God does have the big picture...and He does know what's best for us. I can't tell you how many times I thought I knew better and tried to jump over His road blocks only to regret it later. Thank you, Lord for forgiving us when we're turds....
I love both your resolutions...mine is to get to church more often instead of watching it on tv.
I needed to hear this today, Nellie.
And I want to also bawl because Josh Downs has to sleep on a cot with a sleeping bag. Will you please go out and buy a Tempurpedic mattress for yourselves so he has a wonderful bed to come home to? lol.
Waaaaaaaah!!! ;)
Posted by: kat-in-texas | January 04, 2012 at 04:07 PM
Goose bumps!
Posted by: janel | January 04, 2012 at 04:29 PM
thank you so so much for being able to write what I have been feeling this past month or so. Struggling with wanting to better myself, yet knowing we are in this "desert" time of our lives for God's purpose, not for mine.- you nailed it exactly as to what God is asking of me right now! On an encouraging note, I just started reading "One thousand gifts" by Ann Vos Camp- just a lovely Christian mom trying to get it all right and teaching me how to praise God daily for exactly what I have been given, not wishing for it to be any other way. I know you might get a lot of wacky recommendations, but she isnot preaching any kind of religion, just a daily walk with God- so I hope you feel safe checking it out! thank you so much for this post!
Posted by: amy miller | January 04, 2012 at 04:54 PM
That has to be my absolute favorite verse. I saw it on a plaque...Be Still and know that I AM. My mind is always going and sometimes I just need to "be still" and rest in Him. Thank you for sharing and thank you Josh for sharing your pictures and New Year's resolutions. Stay strong! God Bless you both.
Posted by: Tracy | January 04, 2012 at 06:34 PM
Our God is an awesome God isn't He?
Posted by: Deneen | January 04, 2012 at 07:53 PM
What an awesome list - thanks for sharing and his pictures! Happy new year!
Posted by: Kristen | January 04, 2012 at 07:53 PM
Everything else I wanted to say has been said, so I will say this: You do NOT have sausage legs. You may think you do, but you do not. Amen.
Posted by: Michelle Voelker | January 04, 2012 at 08:51 PM
FANstinkinTASTIC!
Posted by: Ada | January 04, 2012 at 09:00 PM
I love that you are proudly sharing your walk of faith through your blog! That's a great resolution too - I'm the assistant to the youth pastor at our church, and at our last mentor's meeting with the volunteers who help with the youth group, we talked about that verse from Psalm 46. An interesting thought that was mentioned is that "you can do many things while being still, but you can't fully know that God is God if you aren't still." And another translation for being still is to "cease striving." God bless!
Posted by: Brooke | January 04, 2012 at 09:27 PM
Really like your 'be still' resolution. Also wanted to say thank you so much for the making the shot free issue - what a brilliant (but time consuming for you) idea, I'm so enjoying reading through each page. As always, hope you're going ok.
Posted by: renee | January 05, 2012 at 03:45 AM
Another beautiful post. And WOW, I love Josh's resolutions. Simple, to the point, and yet very powerful. You do have a great guy. I pray he stays safe and it reunited with all of you soon! Take care Karen!
Posted by: Marilyn Johnson | January 05, 2012 at 05:48 AM
Love you, Karen! And, "Be" is my word of the year with the resolutions/goal attached to it and really grabbing hold of faith and sticking to it is something I've been working on the past couple of years...very similar to you in that my mind never stops. When I turned 40, 2 years ago, it all clicked and I let Him take control. I can't tell you how much better it works for me. Trust me, I totally understand where and how you are! Hugs & Happy New Year!
Posted by: Julie McD | January 05, 2012 at 06:48 AM
I am reading this post a day too late but today is the day that I needed hear that 'Be Still and know that He is God'... Thank you for sharing your honest self :-)
Posted by: shalini | January 05, 2012 at 07:23 AM
love your posts Karen!! one of my favorite verses too!! prayin for you guys!! many blessings!! happy new year!! smooch!!
Posted by: karlalala | January 05, 2012 at 07:54 AM
Hey Karen! Your post really resonated with me the whole day - I'm just the same when it comes to relaxing or letting go. It's just so very difficult. Even though I don't have the same faith you do, I really hope that we can maybe make adjustments this year and get along more easily. All the best for you and your family!
Posted by: Nina | January 05, 2012 at 09:48 AM
Such a sweet post!! I wish I knew how?? <3
Posted by: teresa b | January 05, 2012 at 11:58 AM
did i ever tell you that j and i met on match.com? not a flight, but i did fly 4500 miles to meet him in person. It's always good to know in your heart, and keep it there, that He has a plan. I'm so glad that your plan is what it is because you believe in what He is!
continue to be blessed!
xoxo
t
Posted by: t emmons | January 05, 2012 at 12:35 PM
Thanks for sharing your resolutions. You guys are like rock stars.
Posted by: Ellen Patton | January 05, 2012 at 01:05 PM
I share the same mind-never-sleeps non-stop-guilt/worry/thinking crap. My sympathies. Running is a good way to interrupt all that thinking with a very loud "Ouch!" and "Oh, for the love--my legs are going to fall off."
I like the decision to not regret one day--a big one from Regret City, over here, but valiant. I'm going to borrow it. Thank you, Mr. Downs.
Posted by: K | January 05, 2012 at 01:12 PM
I don't often leave a comment, but I do come by to read your blog often....cause I love it that you are so damn honest!!! You make me laugh and cry with your honesty. Happy 2012 to you and your family. xx
Posted by: Sarah | January 05, 2012 at 03:22 PM
Last month when I was fraught with worry, my dear friend sent me that exact scripture verse. I've been making a concious effort each day since to "be still" and know that He has a plan.
I love, love, love Josh's resolutions! :-) God Bless...you're so lucky to have each other.
Posted by: Kim S. | January 05, 2012 at 05:41 PM
I thought I was the only one who can't settle down. Even sitting still my brain feels like what it must be like in Rainman's head. Sometimes I wonder if there is something wrong with me. I can be still physically but it's so hard to turn that in-my-head part off. Good luck with your resolution, maybe I'll try it from Va too! Happy New Year!!
Posted by: Gayle | January 05, 2012 at 06:44 PM
You are so wise.
Posted by: cinback | January 05, 2012 at 07:18 PM
You (and Josh) are in my prayers!
Posted by: kimberly | January 05, 2012 at 08:39 PM
Karen, Thank you so much for sharing. I often am inspired by your words and really feel a sense of closeness with you- mostly because you write about things that I usually am feeling too. Your posts always evoke some kind of emotion whether smiles, laughs or tears. I love reading about you and your family and have been for years. I thank God that He has blessed me with you in my life.
Posted by: Kelly | January 06, 2012 at 08:06 AM
I know what it's like to be YOu, mind racing ALL THE TIME.
cannot sleep well, it's so hard to have a brain like this.
the bad thing is my 12 year old is the same way, I passed it ON>
ugh.
love his resolutions!
tara
Posted by: tara pollard pakosta | January 06, 2012 at 09:05 AM
You don't know me...but I feel so connected to you through your blog. I just wanted to say, you humble me! You are such an amazing mom and wife. The way you and Josh Downs love each other and your children....leaves me speechless. Makes me want to do better with my own. Thanks for the way you show that.
By the way....your Be Still resolution. I love the way that passage of scripture reads in the Message translation (my hubby got me a new Bible for Christmas that is NIV and the Message side-by-side). Psalm 46:10 - "Step out of the traffic! Take a long loving look at me, your High God, above politics, above everything". I am like you - my head never stops! I have so much traffic running through my head....but if I focus on my loving God,the traffic is a little quieter.
Blessings on you and your family while you're apart. And thanks for sharing you with me!
Posted by: Alaina Bennett | January 06, 2012 at 12:11 PM
I love your statement of knowing God can settle your mind....it was the topic of my devotional today in "Jesus Calling" and the verse was Romans 8:6
It is my prayer as well.
Thank you for sharing Karen!
Posted by: amy | January 06, 2012 at 12:30 PM
Amazing. Simply amazing....
Posted by: Kim Hill | January 06, 2012 at 06:16 PM
Isn't it a wonderful relief knowing HE is in charge, not us?? I find that remembering that helps me to breathe a bit easier. :)
Posted by: Lacey | January 06, 2012 at 09:02 PM
I swear, except I don't swear :) , your blog is the only one I comment on. Ever. It just resonates with me. My word for 2012 is "light" from Matthew. "you are the light of the world" I want to focus on shining for God in the daily. But oh, I could use, "be still". "be still and know that I am God" I know it, but sometimes my head doesn't! Would love to know where your engraved jewelry is from...been trying to find a stamped bracelet for my word, so I can see it daily. Lifting your family and Josh in prayer.
Posted by: Amy Emery | January 06, 2012 at 10:20 PM
Another wonderful love story to God and Josh. Love these posts (just like a prevous post you made that so wonderfuly articulated and inter-related your love for both).
The way Josh worded the second one cracked me up. The seventh one on Josh's list - I have that problem - ha. Been purging it pretty good over the last six months - but I do have a major relaps now and again.
Posted by: Penny | January 09, 2012 at 10:04 AM
this is awesome! really love all that is in this post! hugs, cathy
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Posted by: Dofsassaums | August 15, 2012 at 04:25 PM
I don't often leave a comment, but I do come by to read your blog often....cause I love it that you are so damn honest!!! You make me laugh and cry with your honesty. Happy 2012 to you and your family. xx
Posted by: craftmatic | December 31, 2012 at 02:22 AM