Love Notes

I didn't even notice it until the other day, but there's a perfect heart on the trunk of our Christmas tree.

Ross says he didn't do it. Cole says he didn't do it. And Courtney and Annie said they didn't do it either.

So I started thinking that maybe someone else had done it - some stranger that had been walking out in the woods one day. But this tree was growing in kind of a weird cluster of trees and I just can't imagine someone singling out this particular tree to carve a heart in.

And then Josh's mom pointed out the fact that it doesn't even feel like a carving because the edges are smooth and the center of the heart is indented just slightly - like it just grew that way.

And while the logical part of my brain can't come up with a hypothesis, my heart already has.

I know it might sound crazy, but I have no doubt that it's just God showing me that He's there, even in the smallest details of my life.

Josh Downs sent me this email the other night:

Feeling a bit down and missing you badly. Could use some words of encouragement.

And I responded with this:

I had the silliest thing happen to me the other day...I've been feeling a lot of pressure to make all of our normal traditions really perfect for the kids since they were all so worried about us not continuing them while you were gone. So as I was heading out the door on Sunday to go Christmas tree hunting, I realized that I hadn't made a CD with Christmas songs for the drive there. So I ran upstairs really quickly (because I was meeting my mom and Rudy in Gold Hill at 9 and didn't want to be late) to grab a blank CD and then popped it in my laptop and started copying Christmas songs to the CD. If you remember though, my laptop usually won't fully eject CDs and of course, that morning was no exception. So I went to grab some tweezers so I could grab the CD, but I couldn't get it. I must have gone through the whole process 5 or 6 times of waiting for the CD to come out, not being able to grab it, waiting for the computer to take it back in, then opening up my Finder so I could tell the computer to eject the CD again - so now I had wasted at least five minutes and really needed to leave the house. I feel guilty praying to God about trivial problems, so I just said that to Him. I said, "God, I feel really bad praying to you about trivial problems like CD's, but I'm just asking you to help me with this silly request, but I'll totally understand if it's not your will for some reason."

And as soon as I said Amen, the CD popped all the way out. (I hadn't even pressed the button to eject it.)

I seriously just started laughing out loud and thanking Him.

It was like He wanted me to know that He DOES care about the little things because He wants the kind of relationship with me where I just communicate with him all day long. He wants me to come to Him to ask Him for help when I'm having a problem with my CD ejecting in the same way that I would come ask you for help - because I rely on you. He wants me to come to Him with everything - He wants me to rely on Him.

And I think He wants you to do the same.

I know I'm off on a tangent here, but I guess I just want to get this written down somewhere so that one day when I'm having a lousy day, I'll be able to look back on this and that I'll be able to remember how faithful He is.

How He's always working in my life (even when what I want and what He knows is best for me differ.)

I told my kids this same story (about the CD) on the way to school the other morning and then words just started spilling out of my mouth without me even thinking through them.

I said that I think God wants us to come to Him all day long, every day. Just to say hi. Just to thank Him for the seemingly small things in our lives. Just to tell Him what's on our mind. Just to let Him know we're thinking of Him.

And then I said, "What if I never said a word to you guys except to tell you before meals how thankful I am for you and then I talked to you again before bedtime to ask you guys to keep me safe and to bless our family, but the rest of the time I didn't talk to you at all?"

Then Annie said, "But if He he already knows what we're thinking, why do we have to talk to Him all day long?"

And I said, "Do you know that I love you Annie?" and she said, "Yes." Then I said, "What if I decided to never say I love you again since you already know it?"

And right there, I learned something I had never known before.

Sure, those words were coming out of my mouth, but still, it wasn't something I knew.

And I think it's going to change me...

Chances are, most everyone quit reading this post about 15 paragraphs back.

And I realize that if I don't quit talking about God so much that my blog readers are going to start dropping like flies.

They already are.

I think I'm ok with that though.

Because if God is faithful enough to leave me a love note in a Christmas tree, then the least I can do is be faithful enough to leave Him a love note on my blog.

And if you're reading this Josh Downs...Thank you. (Because I know you're one of the those that read this to the end.)

Comments

[Christa Williams]

I read every post to the end and love your message. Alot of days it's a message I need to hear and today it was one I really needed to hear.. SO THANK YOU FOR WRITING IT!!!

[Annabet]

I read it to the end and I think your message was beautiful and one that I really needed to hear! Please don't quit writing messages like this one because people might not read! Your kids and Josh Downs are so lucky to have you!

[Abby]

AMEN!
Keep Preaching Sister!

[Christina]

I read it to the end and even reread some parts to make sure I read it right. I loved it and this is a message we all need to hear over and over again. Thanks.

[deb]

Your family is blessed that they have you in their life. Continued prayers ( to God!:) ) for your husband's, and for all who are serving us, safe journey and return home.

[Barbara Simmons]

Karen, Your post is beautiful and don't ever be afraid to be your authentic self! I think of you and how hard it must be for both you and Josh as well as the rest of the families in your shoes. Thank you for your family's contribution to making us all safe.

[Debbie J]

Thank you for sharing your heart. We all need to be reminded of this ...whether we fully know it or not. Hugs to you and your family!

[MichelleB]

:)

[valerie]

my favorite reason is that He is faithful in the small things as in the large.

[karen eyink]

xoxo

[Angela]

Beautiful...don't ever stop writing about God and his faithfulness....I need to go wipe my tears now.

[kat-in-texas]

Love how you think about all the little things God is doing in your life, Nellie. He is definitely in the details of our lives and wants to fellowship with us and hear our praises all day, everyday!!!

And your blog readers love you and Josh Downs and your WHOLE family!!! I can't imagine deserting your blog--you give us so much to laugh about and learn about. I wouldn't worry about offending someone with the Truth about your relationship with God/Jesus. It's too important and it's who you are!!!

I pray God will breathe a breath of fresh air into Josh Downs and all of our service men and women away from their families this Christmas season. He gives us life...and hope...and LOVE.

[Amy M.]

Very well said! Thank you, I needed the reminder!

[Miranda]

I have to admit that I'm usually one of those readers who stops reading a post like this about halfway through.....except for this one. It was just so honest. And interesting. Even if it may not necessarily reflect my beliefs.
That's the sign of a great writer :)

[Kristi B.]

Karen, thank you. Thank you for sharing your heart. I'm such a big fan of you, but became even bigger after reading this post. You continue to challenge me in my photography skills since I took your class, but now I got an even more important lesson on my relationship with my Father. Thanks!

[christa]

I read to the end...and it was lovely. Don't shy away from God or from letting people know you are a Godly woman. God is good and if someone wants to stop reading your blog because you think so, well then, you don't want that type of person reading your blog anyway. IMO.

[DebZorn]

I've followed your blog for a long time, watched your kids grow, even audited your class. What I have noticed, is that you are far more open about your faith,lately - and I think that is wonderful. I pray every day, many times a day. It's how I get through the good stuff and the not so good stuff.I pray for my children, grandchildren, you and many others. I am thankful that God watches over you and Josh and all of your family. I'm thankful He watches over me, too. Please don't stop sharing with us.

[Robin]

Don't hold back your real self. You are reaching and touching lives and holding back for readers who aren't interested is not something to be concerned about. Because you are being true and sharing your walk with me... I just linked on my FB page. So, maybe you will gain readers through a message like this! Love your blog, love that you share your stories and am grateful to have met you in real life. You are an amazing woman and your husband must be an amazing man... please THANK HIM for serving our country.

[MichelleGB]

I read it to the end. What a beautiful post.

[Nichole]

Karen, I've been following your blog for well over a year now. I'm 27 years old, living in Southern Utah with my boyfriend and little girl. You and I really have nothing in common besides the fact that we're both mothers and photographers (my photography is just a budding hobby), but I love reading about your life, seeing your kids grow, and laughing about your adventures (and misadventures). I am not religious in any way, and you blogging about your path with God does not bother me in the slightest. I'm sorry that you have lost some readership; but that's their loss, not necessarily yours. People need to grow up and accept that everyone is different, with different views and paths. I applaud you for being so open about your journey, and I urge you to keep going.

[Charla]

This is so beautifully written and just what I needed to read today! Thank you for sharing! xox

[donya]

I read to the end, even though I'm not religious. I think this thing called life is tough, and we all need our own versions of faith to get through it. I love that you have found something strong to live with. And the lesson of being open with the ones you love is still valid for every single person, religious or not. Thank you for this post.

[Jo E]

Karen, I don't have a faith but I do read your posts (all the way to the end!). You write so well, you hold my interest even when the subject matter might not be one I totally understand. More importantly you make me think. This post made me think. That must be good. Keep being you, and don't ever apologise for it.

[Aimee B. in Oregon]

God is good! I do I believe that your guardian angel left that heart for you.

[Michelle]

I read every word to the end and I think you're exactly right. And I love how your words are sinking deep into your kids hearts too.

Oh and your "good and faithful" post? Verklempt.

[Stevie]

I have been reading your blog for a long time, but never commented. You're words are beautiful and this post...unbelievable. Totally touched my heart. Thank you for sharing.

[Wendy]

I love when you write about God's faithfulness and His work in your life!
I love that you shared that with your kids too.
I totally agree w/you - the heart was left there to show you that He's there.

[Carrie]

Love your blog - would never think of leaving you :) Thanks for the great reminder about life and faith and every little thing that really does matter to God. I can't even begin to imagine how hard it is to be separated from your spouse and am glad you could send an encouraging note to Josh. I am sure he would have much rather been picking out a tree, but thanks to the men and women of our country who serve, we are able to do just those kinds of simple activities because we are free. Blessings to all of you this season.

[Mary]

Karen, whenever I open my google reader and there is a post from you, it's the first one I read and I alays read them all the way to the end. AND I happen to enjoy your God filled posts:)

[elizabeth carney]

I always read. I smile. I get to see your family in awesome photography. I learn from your blog. I am encouraged by your blog. I never post though, but let me just tell you how much I love it. I've got many blogs on my own blog but your in my top 5 and I'm not just sayin' that cause I'm tryin to be a nut. And honestly in my opinion you could talk about the Lord all day long and I'd still read it.

It's wonderful to read about the good, bad, and ugly. It makes you real. Real is good Karen cause we need more real peeps out there...
e.

[Heather]

I loved this.. just what I needed to hear.. I always read to the end cause your notes to Josh are my favourite parts.

[JaYne]

Read it all the way through with the tears in my eyes because I get those signs all day long too. Just when I need them. That heart was meant to be there, because you needed it to be. Because if we don't have faith and hope, what do we have? Preach on!

[Rebecca @ Enjoy Life]

I will continue reading to the end! Thank you for being brave enough to share your innermost thoughts! And how wonderful that you are able to find God in even the little things.

[Nancy]

Blog readers dropping like flies. Well, this reader isn't leaving!!! I check several times a day for new pictures and new posts. You and your family are amazing! I LOVE hearing about your faith! It is so sad we live in a day where one may feel hesitant to share this sort of story as it is THE most important thing in life!

AS for blog readers... I think people are migrating to Facebook. It it seems all of the blogs I follow have had a decline in posts and in readers...

[Monica]

:-)

[JulieE]

Karen,
Your readers always know where your heart is. That's why we read your blog. Happy Holidays!

[Heather Topich]

What a cute tree... and a beautiful story. Keep writing. We'll keep listening!

[Mindy]

Love it :) I always read ur posts :)

[Lynn]

Karen, I read to the end and will always do so! Thank you for sharing! And I am with you 100% He wants to hear everything from us! God bless Josh, you and your beautiful family!

[Denise Wallace]

Karen, I have followed your post for at least 3 years after finding it on one of my scrapbook sites. I love your postings, I love following your family and the normal ups and downs in everyday life. The thing I love most is the way I see God growing and encouraging you. He is real, and He loves us! And He never fails to show us if we look for Him. I am so grateful He is revealing Himself to you even more in your husband's absence. His Word says, Isaiah 54:5
For your Maker is your husband— the LORD Almighty is his name— the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth.
I think He is standing in for your husband while he is away!
I hope you have a wonderful Christmas with your children, And remember, when two hearts are in love and in Christ, they are never really apart.
Praying for Josh's safety and speedy return.
We are all in His hands.
Denise Wallace

[AmandaD]

Isn't it amazing how God is faithful in the little things? Thank you for sharing your story & the small reminder to me about the love of God. I really enjoy your blog- more so with each post & I am in awe of how you keep it all together.

[Kathryn Benfiet]

Karen, I read to the end and then re-read it...made me cry and I so understand and am really trying to change my own relationship with the Lord so that we're in constant communication. Having a daughter in the Marines who will most likely be heading to Afganistan next year, I have to believe in God and that He will protect her and Josh Downs. My daughter had a similar situation a few weeks back where she had a "sign from God" and she called me questioning whether she was nuts...I told her no and that God speaks to us in all different ways. Thank you for sharing your miracle heart. Tell Josh Downs we pray for him (and your family) daily. Email me if you need a friend...

[anneberit]

Just wanted to pop in and tell you that I love your posts with lots and lots of photos, but this time I'm glad you let the words take over. This is good, this is really good - and I read it all the way to the end :D Thank you for sharing.

[Annie]

I don't post on here often, but I just wanted to say I love what you have to put on here. It is from the heart and an everyday thing. You are teaching me to do more of what I know I should do. What I have been taught all my life, this was great reminder to keep a prayer in my heart and not just when I need something. You are Awesome Karen!!

[Abbey S.]

i read until the very end. thank you for your words. i needed to hear them, today especially. God bless.

[Trish]

I'm fairly new to your blog....mostly I followed because of your photo's.and creativity...I now follow because of your words. That heart was a gift from Him.

I wish my gratitude could shine through to you like your words to for me.

Bless you!

[Barb P]

Karen,
I don't know if I've ever posted a comment on your blog but I read your blog faithfully and tonight I just had to let you know today's post touched me and it was what I needed to hear, it was wonderful and reminded me to get back in touch with God. Thank you and don't stop speaking from your heart. Gods blessings to you.

[Liesl]

Thank you.

[Deanna M]

Just the post I needed to read tonight--home alone, doubting myself and all my other relationships, lousy time trying to get the kids in bed, etc. I needed this. For so many different reasons I needed this. I read it to the end, and I'll re-read several more times if need be. THANK you for being so open and honest about your faith and how you're learning/growing/struggling. It's that honesty and encouragement that will keep me reading (and following). Funny, I started following several years ago just because you took beautiful pictures of everyday life. I don't think it's a coincidence that God used our common interest in photography to lead me to Himself tonight. I mean, ashamedly, I guess that's what it took to get my attention, to let me know He's still there. Thank you for allowing Him to speak through you.

[quietangelsb]

Since I typically read and relish your posts through Google Reader, I just had to let you know this time that I love reading your posts all the way to the end and appreciate you sharing!

[Laura]

I read every word and am so thankful for your willingess to share your faith!!!

[Deb Medina]

Love, love, love this post :)

[Sandra in GP]

I read every word from beginning to end too Karen. Your words always inspire me. At first it was the creative and of late about loving life, your family and the Lord. Your family is so precious and it makes my day to read about your ups and amazingly your downs. I've been in a big down lately and watching the love between you and Josh grow more and more gives me hope.

God is faithful...always.

[Nickki]

Oh My Goodness Karen. That was so amazing. That is exactly the thing I needed to read. Thank you so much!

[Tammy Eberhard]

I read it too Karen. Thanks for sharing this. God is good. It is an excellent reminder to cast your cares on Him.

[Chris P]

I read your posts-every one-and this one made me cry and made me smile. The miracle of love is in the season-the season is in your heart. May your family continue to be blessed-praying for your Josh Downs and all others who are serving our country.

[Karrie Baker]

Thank YOU for this post, you are so right. I hope you don't mind me sharing it with my Sister, I know that she will love it. I know I did. Thank you again!!

[Claudine]

Never be ashamed of your faith! I love that you share it! I love that you share what is in your heart. You are an example to me.

[Robin healy]

I'm right there with you Karen to the very end! That was an amazing post. I love how your heart and your mind are so vocal with us. And if your reading this Josh Downs... you married well! That girl is a keeper! Stay safe and God speed!

[Jamie K]

Lovely. Every last word. God Bless.

[Michelle Crook]

I read every SINGLE word -- and I love that you share your faith with us.
And God uses people to talk to other people -- just like He did with your post.
I needed to read that.

Oh and I LOVE that you capitalize H in He for Him. I do that too automatically.

Thanks Karen, I'm an Army veteran and can relate to how you are feeling and how Josh is feeling.
Thank him for his service.... Merry Christmas!

[Heather K]

Karen,
I'm so glad you have the courage to blog about your faith! I only wish more people did!! God is great and wonderful and it's sad more people don't know his love! Keep on doing what you're doing!!

[Stacy]

Read every word and you're right; He DOES care about everything in our lives, and I believe He takes delight in answering our seemingly "little" prayers. Maybe it's just because we've acknowledged we need Him, or love Him, or because He's our Father and He loves US. Thank you for sharing glimpses of your journey since Josh Downs deployed. You have a gift with photographs and words, and I have been deeply touched by the strength and love of your family.

[Rachel Dallaire]

I read it to the end, and I always will! :-) Such an amazing post, and I really needed the reminder today. Thank you so much for opening up your heart and sharing this.

[jeannie]

Karen, Your readers probably aren't dropping like flies. They're here, you just aren't aware of them. I'm one of your elusive readers. I'm always here, but you don't know that because I never comment. But I always love to hear what you have to say. I love your little family, your photography, your love of God.....and I always read to the end to see what you have to say to Josh Downs.

[Jen Davis]

Are you kidding? Dropping like flies? How about more readership! I have tears for like the third day in a row reading your blog and my heart feels more full, and I thank you and your love notes to God for that. It's truly a beautiful and refreshing thing. Thank you.

Jen

[Phyllis B.]

I really can't add any more to what has been said by everyone else! Amen and thank you.

[Denise~Paper Ponderings]

That is awesome! Hearing what God does to and for others is like a little highlight for me...just absolutely love hearing praises! This is no exception...thanks so much for sharing!

[Shelley]

Thank you for taking the time and courage to write about talking to God all day long. Conversations with your Father. You warmed my heart! Best wishes to you and your family for a safe a happy Christmas season!

[Carol F.]

Karen, I personally love the "God" blogs; thanks for the words of encouragement!

[Tera]

It's because you don't stop... That's the reason I continue to stop by. That... And you're a military wife too. :o) Amen to God's answers for our needs, despite how insignificant we may think they are. God is good like that!

[Jeannette L]

Since discovering your very lovely blog a few months ago, I have read each and every word you have written. And each and everyone one of those posts has touched my heart in wonderful ways. You have given me hope and inspiration. I appreciate this post above all others. You have a very lovely family, and I hope all of you have a wonderful holiday season.

[Maren]

Thank you for the reminder. I love the way you explained it to your kids (and me...) I needed this today. I got bad news about my pregnancy yesterday, and am scared and nervous, yet still felt silly praying about it, feeling like I was making a bigger deal out of it than necessary. So thanks again for the reminder.

[Julie McD]

I read til the end and have been right there where you are many times in my prayer, requests, and chats to God. He is good & He is watching and listening to you! Oh, and poo on anyone who stops reading...remember [since it is Christmas season), God's just like Santa...he knows if you've been naughty or good and, Ms. Karen, you done good! :)

[melissa]

Love your authenticity! Thanks for sharing.

[Marcie]

I read it to the end and all I can say is "wow"

[Kelly Webb]

I read it to the end and find it to be a wonderful testimony of God's love!

[Heather]

Beautiful Karen!!! ;)

[Leslie]

God is awesome. That's all :)

[Joanna]

Very good post, and convicting, too! I have followed your blog forever, and I always love your photography.
You are my photography idol, for sure!

[Barry Anne Dick]

I really enjoy reading your posts. Keep using your God-given gifts...blogging, photography, parenting, being an encouraging and supportive wife...these are just a few of them.

[Crystal]

You are a wise woman! To think and record and share this message is really an act of faith and you are letting God use you in a very real way by your writing. Have you read the book One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp? It's amazing and isfull of encouragement to keep counting His grace gifts. I think you would like it. And I (like Josh Downs!) always read all of your posts to the very end!

[justlisa]

Karen, I took one of your classes in Orlando, FL and then started following your blog. My daughter and I love your pictures, your trials and triumps, funny stories, and when you talk about God! This post was just beautiful!! And....I ALWAYS read your posts through, even though I rarely ever comment. (sorry about that). Thank you for sharing your life and beliefs with us. :)

May God Bless you and your family always!!

[Jennifer]

I really loved this post! I love all your posts actually but this one was the encouragement I needed today. Through everything you write, it's so evident how much your love your family and love your husband. It's inspiring me to and reminds me how blessed I am to have my husband & kids right here, safe and sound. It never ceases to amaze me how God can speak to someone and by them sharing it can speak to others. I love how God works! Thanks for sharing your heart and your blog, it means a lot to the people reading.

[Elizabeth C,]

Wow, that's powerful. Messages like this are one of the reasons I love your blog (so please don't change!)

[ellen patton]

This post brightened my day. Thank you.

[Libbi M.]

thank you for sharing this wonderful message.

[stacy]

i read to the end and will continue to each day. arent we lucky that God loves us so much?

[Kelly B]

What if your blog inspires one person to thank Him or talk to Him more during the day? Maybe He is working through you to communicate to all of us to remind us that He is there 24/7. (I would have felt bad asking for that, too-but, obviously sometimes we all need a little help-like when I lost my work vehicle keys last week for 45 min. I did say a quick little prayer and found them in the side pocket of my purse that I had searched 10 times!) I loved your examples to the kids!

I thought the heart a little love sign from Mr. Josh Downs. I wouldn't put it past him to recruit Ross to carve it in the tree for you or something totally sweet like that!

I am a faithful reader and always read to the end. I always feel a little guilty reading your "And if you're reading this Josh Downs", but they are always so good. It makes me thankful that my sweetheart scrapped my windows and warmed up my car before I left for work this morning without even being asked. I know your family is missing him like crazy. Prayers and thanks to all for the sacrifices you are making. I admire your strength-You Rock!

[Leslie]

Karen, your blog is one of my all-time favorites. I've read it for years. Thank you for this post. It is marvelous and such an excellent reminder! I'm going to share your thoughts with my family and Sunday School class in the next couple of weeks. I love it when God "speaks" to me through every day occurrences and strokes of inspiration. Thank you for sharing yours!

[janel]

Amen!
This has to be one of your very best posts...
Do you read Bill Fortney's Pilgrim's Chronicles? I bet you would love it....God's love and grace is amazing.
The heart on the tree is more than a sign...and I am so happy that you shared.
Thinking of you.

[Lisa]

I read each post to the end. You are so refreshing in your honesty. So many blogs are about all of the good and never any not so good. No one's life is like that. So thank you for sharing your life - as it is. And for reminding us that God does like to be a part of the boring parts of life as much as he likes helping during the stressful ones. And one more thing - thank you from my family to your family for the sacrifice that you guys are making so we can live the life we live. It is appreciated so much. Merry Christmas!

[Brenda Weaver]

that is so beautiful, and yes, i believe that God must have placed that heart on that tree just for you. because He loves you and He wants you to know that. I agree about talking to God throughout the day. Fact is, I haven't been doing a very good job of talking to my Father, and I think that needs to change. Thanks for sharing!

[Cyndi]

Oh, please don't stop talking about God! You do it so beautifully. If you remember meeting me on the cruise in 2009 (I told you that I came on the cruise to meet you and then I won the spot in your class) you might not be surprised to know that I need His help with lots of little things...sometimes just tying my shoes. And I ask Him, because I think you're right that God does want us to rely on Him, and because sometimes I know I just can't get those shoes tied on my own. I don't know what I'd do without the knowledge that He's there caring about my little things.

[Kristi]

I really needed this reminder...thank you so much for sharing this!

[Catina Leonard]

I read all your posts to the end and this one was by far the best ever. I hope to read lots more like it. THANK YOU!

[SusanC]

Beautiful post!

[Char McClung]

Because He knows the number of hairs on your head...our loving Lord does care about the little things. Beautifully said.

[Mae]

This is a beautiful post! Thank you for reminding us that no matter what He will always be there for us!

[Trixie]

This put a BIG smile on my heart - thank you!