I've been awaiting Spring more impatiently than I ever have before and I got little peek of it yesterday with an unusually warm, sunny day that made me realize it's just around the corner.
And it may be raining right now, but it's coming, I just know it is.
I've got a bazillion photos from Spring Break to post but my work schedule is so chaotic right now that I can't get to them. I've been putting in an obscene number of hours for months now (perhaps years now) but I've been working towards the goal of a much slower work schedule. One that is more friendly to my family and myself.
I signed some sort of unconscious agreement years back that the number of hours I worked and my professional success (whether it be as a dental hygienist, a designer or a photography instructor) was a direct reflection of my self-worth.
That lie chose to reveal itself pretty slowly but ever since it did, I've been working to replace it with something that is true. Something that is real. Slowing down my work schedule, setting realistic goals, saying 'yes' to growing my business better but 'no' to growing my business bigger.
Unfortunately, I've been working towards this goal for so long that I've begun to distrust whether or not it will ever happen. I've begun to distrust myself when I say, 'It's only for a little while longer." So I hesitate to even say this but I'm almost there. I'm just months away from it.
It's coming, I just know it is.
We were hit with some more hard news recently and it looks like there is more on the way. If I weren't so sad about it, I might actually laugh because it's almost comical how many hard things we've been hit with in the last 10 months or so.
Lots of decisions to make, lots of things to sort out, lots of things to work through and a lot of things that are out of our control.
But despite it all, life is good and God is good and although he's got my family in a constant state of construction right now, we sometimes gain enough clarity to see his work, to see his craftsmanship, to see his blue-prints. And though the final result may not seem beautiful to just anyone who passes by, I know that it's going to seem beautiful to the six of us that are living in it.
It's coming, I just know it is.
And the end to my Debbie-Downer, infrequent blogging...
It's coming too, I just know it is.
Karen, sorry you are having a hard time, I think of you and your lovely family often. I hope things start to get better for you very soon! Gorgeous image of Annie today!
Posted by: Jack | March 29, 2011 at 11:24 AM
Sorry things are rough right now. Here's hoping you find the end of the hard, the end of the too busy, and Spring. It is coming.
Posted by: Corri C | March 29, 2011 at 11:30 AM
I sat and read your blog from start to today last week, I was stuck in bed SICK! I cried and I laughed. Your kids are amazing, you are amazing and that darling husband of yours is amazing. Your love story is beautiful and amazing! I laughed when I read about McCloud (we stopped there for gas last fall on our way to Reno) and I cried when I read about all your struggles and sweet Annie's birth. Life has some serious suck potential, but I always try and look for the bright side or keep my eye on the prize that will come. Things WILL get better. Keep the posts coming I look forward to them! And I too someday will take your photography course!
Posted by: Sara Green-Anderson | March 29, 2011 at 11:38 AM
Hoping each day is brighter and that each day gets better...
Posted by: teresa b | March 29, 2011 at 11:39 AM
Hi Karen.
I know. I know. I feel it too!!! Doesn't matter if I'm in GP or Medford, bring on SPRING already...FOR REAL!!!
We can go to lunch sometime or "treasure" hunting, if you wanna. I'm at the Studio in Medford most weekdays... Don't scrapbook much anymore, since Kay moved, but still hanging around and playing with Janice....
Tina
Posted by: Tina Schiefer | March 29, 2011 at 11:55 AM
i love you.
Posted by: tanyawebster | March 29, 2011 at 12:28 PM
karen, we've been hit with hard stuff to recently, praying it works out well for you all, (as we know it does for those who love the Lord). Let me know if I can do anything, need prayer, babysitter, coffee or church out with me:) whatever! keep us posted!
Posted by: mandy friend | March 29, 2011 at 12:44 PM
It's coming... I know it is... Most of the time our timetable isn't His. On a different note, I have loved your pictures forever, but you keep getting better! Today's picture is the picture of spring! I hope something extra happy happens today!
Posted by: Gina f. | March 29, 2011 at 01:21 PM
We were just in your neck of the woods, trust me, spring is much closer for you than it is for us up here in Seattle! Waiting on God is one of my big weaknesses, but I know that I must. We too are in a limbo sort of mode, just waiting on God!
Posted by: Kimberly | March 29, 2011 at 01:45 PM
Thank you for this post, Karen. When I look at your photos, I imagine your life being so perfect that I was surprised to read that you're hitting on hard news recently. It made me realize that you're no different from any of us (been praying for God to make it all better too). Praying for you as well. It's just that your photos are too perfect that who would've thought, looking at them, that you're also in the midst of trials. Great big hugs to you!
Posted by: Mickee | March 29, 2011 at 01:58 PM
You are awesome Karen. I love how God draws us closer to him when we are in circumstances that we don't like or can't control. When we focus on Him and not the situation in front of us we can have peace. I will always be grateful to you for understanding my situation a couple of years ago when I was supposed to take your class. Thank you for being so honest (and taking such awesome pictures).
Posted by: payton | March 29, 2011 at 02:04 PM
Oh, sweetie! I'm so sorry to hear you've got more hard times. I have great faith that you'll handle things with all your usual grace.
Posted by: Sharon Cooke | March 29, 2011 at 02:12 PM
I'm not much of a commentor --- more of a stocker....but, I felt the need to leave you a quick note today. Your honesty and willingness to share all of your life with your followers is amazing. I'm am continually blessed by your posts and have never considered you a Debbie Downer. God is good, and there will always be a rainbow at the end of the storm --- it's HIS promise. Hang in there.
Posted by: Kim Holmes | March 29, 2011 at 02:16 PM
Sorry to hear about the hard times that you are going through. We all love you here and are praying for you.
Posted by: Melanie | March 29, 2011 at 02:16 PM
Karen, I'm sorry that things are so tough right now. This is an adorable picture of Annie. Thinking of you and hoping things get better soon.
Posted by: Melanie | March 29, 2011 at 02:56 PM
I'm sorry things are so tough right now... know that there are lots of people around the country and world thinking of you and praying that things get better!
Posted by: AVinNYC | March 29, 2011 at 03:05 PM
I can totally relate...a very hard past 10 months ( actually 4 years when counting everything), wanting spring so badly ( woke up to 17 degree weather this morning..YUCK) and trying to figure out what God wants me to do with my life!! Life gets confusing, overwhelming and sad at times. Hang in there and know it's not just you and your family going through hard times. I think we need the storms in our lives not only to see the sunshine but to learn how to DANCE in the rain. You're in my prayers my friend!! It's coming, I just know it is!!!! :) Keep the faith!
Posted by: Tracy | March 29, 2011 at 03:07 PM
Hang in there, Nellie. Just saw this today...one of my favorite preachers on tv, Dr. Charles Stanley.
Time has no effect upon God nor upon how He makes His plans and decisions. Nothing that happens in our lives will ever surprise Him or interrupt what He is achieving for us. This is why we can always count on Him being true to all of the promises He's made to us.
Posted by: kat-in-texas | March 29, 2011 at 03:24 PM
My mom always assured me that "everything in its own time"...trust and hang one. There are lots of friends walking beside you. Hugs!
Posted by: janel | March 29, 2011 at 03:26 PM
hope you find comfort in knowing how just dropping in to read how things are, having an opportunity to view beautiful photos, and reading true feelings, bring so much happiness and peace to others when they too just need to escape. Keep your chin up and know how many people in blog land are cheering you on!
Posted by: lori | March 29, 2011 at 03:36 PM
I so love your blog, mostly for your honesty.
Take care.
Ang
Posted by: Ang | March 29, 2011 at 03:52 PM
So know what you mean about spring. Going to church Sunday over the Siskiyous,I was grumbling about having the icy, snowy weather still! But as in all things God is in control and wants us to look to Him for strength!
Posted by: Carrie P | March 29, 2011 at 04:20 PM
I am sorry that life is so very hard right now. I hope that the coming spring finds the load you're carrying lighter and easier to bear. If it gives you any comfort, your blogging (whatever the frequency) and pictures always touch some part of me in a good way. Thank you for sharing life and it's ups and downs...and those really cute kids of yours too!
Posted by: MichelleGB | March 29, 2011 at 04:41 PM
I hope you and your lovely family will always be in good health, that's what matter the most I think. Good luck
Posted by: May | March 29, 2011 at 04:41 PM
Thinking of you and your family today and just wanted to say that all of us will be here, waiting for you whenever you have the time to come and 'see' us on your beautiful, heartfelt (and heart-wrenching sometimes) blog. We understand that life can get in the way, and always, always, something has to give. It's Ok if it's blog posting.
Hugs...
Posted by: AnnieM | March 29, 2011 at 04:53 PM
I hear you. We have been hit with blow after blow the last 15 months. It's hard. You need to read the book, One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voscamp. It will help you tremendously. God bless.
Posted by: Wendy | March 29, 2011 at 06:13 PM
Prayers and thoughts are with you, Karen! All will be well and just the way it's supposed to be...keep truding on with faith, hopeful hearts and loving support of family and friends. Miss you regular posts, but totally understand!
Hugs!
Posted by: Julie McD | March 29, 2011 at 06:19 PM
Karen--
Life is just tough sometimes, for seasons that just don't seem to end. I don't know what's going on in your life, but I know of a book you need to read. It's a Christian book written by Priscilla Shirer (one of my favorite Bible study teachers) and the book is called Life Interrupted. It chronicles the life and decisions of Jonah in a modern and understandable way. She writes about how we can be going along in our life, doing things we think are in God's plan, and BAM there's an interruption, or is it divine intervention?
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_3_33?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=life+interrupted+priscilla+shirer&x=0&y=0&sprefix=life+interrupted+priscilla+shirer
I highly recommend it! In fact, I'm giving one away tomorrow on my blog...that's how good I think it is!
Posted by: Angela | March 29, 2011 at 06:57 PM
i am a constant stalker of your beautiful blog. i just want you to know that i think you and your family and your talents are all so beautiful and i love that i get to catch a little glimpse into your life through your blog. thanks for sharing your witness that God is in control. i too strongly believe that.
Posted by: kyrsten g | March 29, 2011 at 07:16 PM
Karen, I just love you. You are so real and you have an incredible way of putting into words what many of us feel but can't find the right words to explain. As I read this post I realized that you are probably the most courageous woman I know, and I don't even know you personally,other than your blog and your class (I was an auditing student). Keep your chin up, and your eyes heavenward. You know when God told Abraham to "Go to a land I will show you" He didn't give him all the details along the way, Abraham had to trust. He certainly is trustworthy. I hope you can find some comfort in these days that are uncertain and sad for you.
Posted by: Patti Johnson | March 29, 2011 at 07:20 PM
It IS coming. I too know it is. And with a knock-it-outta-the-park gorgeous photo like you shared with us today, IT is coming sooner than we can realize. Karen, you are so honest and open with all of us. Hope you can feel the arms hugging you and the prayers praying with you. Hang in there!
Posted by: Sabrina | March 29, 2011 at 07:22 PM
As one of the pastors at my church said in a message once... "Instead of saying, 'God never gives you more than you can handle', which is true.... You could think of it like this: God never gives you more than HE can handle." In other words, take everything to him in prayer. He's already got the plan laid out. Sometimes he lets us in on it, other times, he doesn't. But his answer is always what's best for us.
Looking forward to taking your class in a few weeks! I just love your work - so natural and relaxed, and colorful photos.
Posted by: Rachel Z | March 29, 2011 at 08:09 PM
Sending lots of good thoughts your way Karen. Big "virtual" hug to you and yours!
Posted by: Wendy | March 29, 2011 at 08:21 PM
Well theres one thing were sure of (well maybe a few things) God is faithful, reliable, trustworthy and right on time. When we stand strong in our faith,unmoveable,unwavering, trusting him, waiting on him, it makes us stronger and it gives him the key to act and move on our behalf. Not much longer Karen those crooked paths will be straight <3
Posted by: Jamia | March 29, 2011 at 08:30 PM
You go girl! Always keep your eyes focused on God "For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11 God is good.
Posted by: Young Nanny | March 29, 2011 at 08:50 PM
Your post today just hit the spot. So tired of the rain here in Sherwood, Oregon. But your reminder of the hope of Spring and of God's promises was perfect. I loved your words about seeing "His blue-prints". And sometimes you have to step back or get past the situations to see the Master's hand, but there it is. Thank you.
Posted by: Amy | March 29, 2011 at 09:21 PM
Absolutely believing with you that IT IS COMING, and soon! Even when we can't see it, He can! Sometimes it's just hard to remember that His vision is perfect and ours isn't, and I speak that from some hard experience. Glad to see your post today.
Posted by: Sarah K | March 29, 2011 at 09:35 PM
Sorry to hear that you and your family are going through some rough times right now. Take care!
Posted by: Dina | March 29, 2011 at 11:23 PM
Karin glad to see you back on board even if it was for only ONE AMAZING PHOTO>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> STUNNING GIRL!!! oh yeh Annie is cute too. I hear you on the bad news stuff, sometimes yesterday that was bad looks even better today which is worse. Control the things you can control and work on those, everything is out in the universe and out of our control. I like your motto on making your business better not bigger. I would love to jump back on your course in 2012 again this year I'm going through all those "uncontrolable things". Remember you are only human like the rest of us with a very special talent for capturing the life of your family....what a gift that is. Love to you and your family. Regards Kathy A (Brisbane, Australia) xxxxx and hugs ooooooo
Posted by: Kathy | March 30, 2011 at 12:30 AM
Well I hope you get it because we just got predicted with 6-12 inches of snow for Friday! I'm coming to visit you! :)
Posted by: Pam | March 30, 2011 at 01:46 AM
When you get to the end of your rope ~ tie a knot and hang on. ;)
Posted by: Jennifer | March 30, 2011 at 04:48 AM
I'm a long time lurker. Sorry you and your family are going through a rough time.
Here is a wonderful quote I came across on Etsy
http://www.etsy.com/listing/71075097/falling-into-place-typography-wall-art
Take care! Weslea
Posted by: WesleaV | March 30, 2011 at 04:59 AM
Just remember.....your a strong family and God doesnt give more than you can handle....so you should be happy (although I am sure not right now) that you have such awesome support in your family! Take care and be safe!
Posted by: Erin H. | March 30, 2011 at 05:27 AM
I'm so sorry that you're having a difficult time right now. I hope things are soon looking better!
Posted by: Stephanie @ La Dolce Vita | March 30, 2011 at 05:33 AM
Karen,
My family has gone through some real financial struggles this past few months & I can see relief coming...it is coming. Things are falling into place & God is good. He carried us through every step of the struggle. He will for you & your family as well. I will keep you in my thoughts & prayers!! "Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest."
Posted by: Wendy | March 30, 2011 at 05:59 AM
I know so many people who have been handed some pretty heavy (and devastating news) recently. Seems like there are so many to worry about lately, I wonder when the news will stop coming. When the suffering will cease. It's overwhelming. I'm sorry that you've been handed more news and have more things to sort out. I care about you so much and I hate to know that you are struggling with decisions right now! I do love so much the way you put everything into perspective. It even helps me to find clarity here in my life. I will most definitively keep you and your family in my many thoughts and prayers, Karen. You WILL persevere.. you always do :)
Posted by: Tammy Mellish | March 30, 2011 at 06:11 AM
((HUG)) to you and your family. Sending prayers your way for strength to help you move through your difficulties...peace and blessings...
Posted by: cindy b. | March 30, 2011 at 07:54 AM
I hope the news has nothing to do with anyone's health! But if it does, I hope everything works out, either way, I hope that.
I can't wait for spring, even though I know it's not the answer to everything, some nice weather might help.
Posted by: Kelli | March 30, 2011 at 08:23 AM
Karen, I have been a stalker for, I think, a couple of years now. My husband finds it amusing and disturbing at the same time. I on the other hand am inspired by your committment to your family, faith, photography, and blog. This post of yours is refreshing. Sometimes our life's journey is not all sunshine and butterflies, but it is the harder portions of our journey that make the sunshine and butterflies part that much more enjoyable. God's plan is sometimes mysterious, but it is always a good one. I too feel that quite a few things "are coming" soon. I wish you and your family the best.
Posted by: Sharon-reynolds.blogspot.com | March 30, 2011 at 10:08 AM
Karen, the picture I see:
Not only are your photographs beautiful because you "shoot from your heart" but your life is beautiful because you "live from your heart". The little glimpse of that which has been shown to those of us following your blog and also who have taken your class. It isn't the hours.... It is YOU, you are amazing, what is in your heart has so blessed my life and many others!
So I pray you can let go of those hours, charge more for your classes (they are so worth it!), cut back the class size... something, but above all rest easy, you are a gift to anyone who has been blessed to be touched by your life, your heart...
Thank you Karen!!!!!
Posted by: Nancy | March 30, 2011 at 10:44 AM
Hang in there Karen! Praying things will soon improve for you and your family.
Posted by: YvonneC | March 30, 2011 at 10:54 AM
Sending you good thoughts. This past year has been strangely brutal for so many people and it makes it so difficult sometimes to find our center. Hoo boy! I'm all too well aware of this. *wry grin*
Please know that you are so very appreciated; not only by your delightful family, but also by a whole bunch of friendly strangers who like you for exactly who you are, exactly HOW you are right now, this and every moment, and that there is no need to be anything but you...today...right now.
I'm sorry you're feeling like "Debbie Downer" and you're still wonderful from where I sit. :) Yep! Thanks for being you! :)
Posted by: Tanya A. | March 30, 2011 at 11:43 AM
Please know that you and your family are in my prayers. You are right, we do serve a BIG GOD, and nothing ever "sneaks up" on Him. He is always in control and always loves us more than we can know; or at times even understand.
Posted by: Laura | March 30, 2011 at 12:37 PM
Just echoing so many others Karen in saying I'm praying and thinking of your family. I know at times when it seems completely out of our control but seems to be completely rocking our world I have found a lot of strength just falling on my knees. God has been faithful to me regardless of all of my paths and choices (good and bad - both!). And the choices of others that have impacted me. I know He will be faithful to your precious family of 6. So I'll pray for the clouds to clear: SOONER vs later!!!!!!!!!!!!
Heidi
Posted by: Heidi | March 30, 2011 at 02:38 PM
You aren't being a Debbie Downer by sharing the bad/difficult parts of your life - you are being real and authentic. I so admire your willingness to be real and to share your faith. Life so often does suck and sometimes you have to just put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward. These are the times when we grow as people (why does God make it so hard!?) but it's also when you find out who your friends are and when you really appreciate all the blessings and good times in your life. You and your family are in our prayers. Russell and I took your photography class last summer. While we both learned a ton about photography, the unexpected bonus was that it brought us closer as a couple and helped us get through some really tough times as a family. Our daughter just officially became a Marine recruit last week and will ship out within the next month. It's hard to let go of our kids and my mantra has been..."Let go and Let God"...take care of yourself and know that we are praying for you and your family.
Posted by: Kathryn Benfiet | March 30, 2011 at 04:16 PM
Karen just want to send some hugs to you and your family!!! You guys are in my thoughts.
Posted by: Edie | March 30, 2011 at 05:18 PM
Thinking of you....
Laura
Posted by: laura | March 30, 2011 at 07:11 PM
You inspire me so much. Your writing is so great Karen. I'm really sorry your family is going through a difficult time. Hang in there. I admire your faith and courage and positive attitude.
Posted by: Ashley S. | March 30, 2011 at 09:20 PM
So we have snow here today Karen! Ugh. But it IS coming. Loved your words of wisdom about GOD and your life in construction. It has been a rough start to this year for me and my family too-several things. But I try each day to reflect on the small, beautiful things that are everywhere and it really does help. Things WILL get better! Hugs.
Posted by: Tonia Borrosch | March 31, 2011 at 04:17 AM
hi Karen,
thinking of you and your family....times seem to be tough with everyone I know too, not that it makes things any easier to deal with. It sounds like you have faith, your family, and perserverance on your side & that's HUGE!!! :-)
My husband & I have been dealing with a lot during the past years...a disabling injury and fertility issues. We felt like the only ones whose lives were out of whack and the only ones who couldn't have kids in their lives. Well, we found out last week that we'll be adopting a baby due Oct 7th! Life has an amazing way of putting you through the wringer in every way and then blessing you with something wonderful.
stay strong...
Kelley
Posted by: Kelley Simmons | March 31, 2011 at 05:33 AM
Love you, Karen! Hang in there - all of you!
Posted by: Jennifer S | March 31, 2011 at 10:51 AM
What a great post by AnnieM...and so very true....Karen, you are in my thoughts and I will keep praying for you and your family. God Is Good and his plan for your family is going to be so incredible I am sure! Enjoy your wonderful family and just take it day by day...and don't forget to breathe! :)
Posted by: Anita Guthrie | March 31, 2011 at 11:04 AM
It's hard to see the shore in the middle of the storm. We thought last year would never end - we were hit with trauma every time we turned around and when we didn't think it could get any worse - it did. But we tried to laugh our way through it and held on tight to each other and darned if this spring isn't brining good news and a sense of we are going to be ok.
Hang in there - you are loved.
Posted by: Karen M. | March 31, 2011 at 08:21 PM
I'm just say'n ...I was thrilled when my notebook arrived today. I didn't think I would get one for just auditing the class. It's just a month away now. Oh Boy!
Kathy b
Posted by: kathy b | March 31, 2011 at 08:23 PM
God bless you as you go through these hard times.
Posted by: Nicky from Canada | April 01, 2011 at 07:19 AM
First of all, I LOVE that picture of Annie. :o) Second, as a small business owner myself, I know it's incredibly hard to say no and to know what the right decisions are every day they come your way. I, too, started my business hoping I would have more time with my family and ended up far busier than I ever dreamed - and working harder than I ever could have imagined. It's worth it in many ways, but I know what you feel as you struggle to find the "right" balance between family, work and everything else on your plate. I don't know what your 10 months of family construction news has included, but I hope that everyone is OK and you will all emerge stronger. Thinking of you all!
Posted by: Corie in Indy | April 03, 2011 at 01:53 PM
God is Good!!!!!! He will hold you when you need holding!
Posted by: Laura | April 04, 2011 at 08:21 PM
Wishing you an ordinary day filled with nothing more than God's simple peace and grace.
ana
Posted by: ana roat | April 05, 2011 at 06:57 AM
your kids are so cute:)
Posted by: Letti | May 06, 2011 at 05:30 PM
It was specially registered at a forum to participate in discussion of this question.
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