I was 19 (just a year younger than Ross is right now) and had just moved Ross and I into an apartment in Klamath Falls, Oregon so I could start my freshman year of college at OIT.
I had a hand-me-down couch, a few dishes, a tiny television set and a few decorations I had picked up from the dollar store. (And my Aunt had just given me that crib you see in the background because I only had a playpen.)
I was receiving food stamps, WIC (free cheese & milk), Pell Grants and Student Loans.
And I didn't have the self-esteem to know that I could make it through college as a single-mom.
But I had him (Ross) and somehow, he felt like my little 'incentive plan'.
I did lots of things wrong (like assuming that cherry vanilla custard was just as healthy as strained peas simply because it had the Gerber logo on it) but I did lots of things right too (like loving on him endlessly.)
What I regret most though is that I kind of wished his childhood away.
I just kept hoping that he'd get to the 'next stage' more quickly - thinking that the next stage would be easier.
Wishing I didn't have to be up, patting his back so many times through the night and falling asleep in class the next day as a result. Wishing he'd learn how to feed himself so I could get a few minutes to wash the dishes. Wishing he'd learn to entertain himself more so I could study without all the interruptions.
And I have a lot of regret in that.
Ross and I were lucky to have my family's support though.
My mom who would take him during finals week every term. My sister and our college buddy, Dawn who would take him to class when I didn't have a babysitter and couldn't take him to class with me. (My sister started at OIT the term after me.) My dad who who slipped me a $20 bill anytime I stopped by his work. My Aunt & Uncle who watched him when I had evening classes. And my Grandma who was thrilled to have him a couple of times a month when I wanted to go out and whoop it up like a regular, college student.
I never felt like a regular college student though.
I felt like a kid with a kid.
I felt embarrassed to be a 19 year old, single-mom.
I felt like a walking, social-stigma.
But he was my incentive plan when I wanted to give up. He was there to snuggle with when I was lonely. He made me smile when I was in tears. He gave me a reason to feel proud instead of ashamed.
And he was there with a Sunny Delight in one hand and his little Fisher Price camera in the other, taking pictures of me through the chain link fence the day I graduated.
And in a way, I have him to thank for making it through college.
He was my incentive plan.
I've never known what it feels like to be an adult without him.
And quite honestly, I'm kind of scared to find out what it feels like.
He's planning on going to OIT in the fall (the same college I went to) and we've been doing lots of things to get him ready.
I talked him into writing down some long-term and short-term goals and what steps he's going to take to achieve them.
Josh made him take a 'developing proper study habits for college' class online.
When I bought new pots & pans last year, I left a box full of our old pots & pans in his bedroom. When he realized what they were for, he looked at me pathetically and said, "I can't believe your making plans for me to move out already."
And we've come up with a written agreement for the percentage of tuition we're willing to pay based on his GPA each term which is something he and I have talked about since he was little. (He has to get a job to pay for his living expenses though.)
And he asked if I'd take him to Klamath Falls to help him check out apartments soon.
I don't think either one of us feel 100% ready though.
Ross is (respectfully) trying to exert his independence and some days, it's enough to make me want him to go exert his independence in his own house.
And I am (respectfully) insisting that he continue abiding by my rules so long as he is in my home and some days, I think that's enough to make him want to have his own house where my rules do not exist.
The other day, he sad, "Mom, you've been teaching me this stuff my whole life, now you need to trust me enough to let me do it."
And he's right (although I'd like to think I still have plenty of valuable, life lessons to impart.)
I feel relieved that we've maintained as good of a relationship as we have these last few years though.
He hugs me in front of his friends. He tells me I'm beautiful. He texts me funny things we used to say when he was little. He respects me. He closes his mouth when he feels like he is about to disrespect me. And he says that when he has kids one day, he's going to raise them just like I raised him.
And that feels like a huge pat on the back (even though I hope he doesn't raise his kids exactly the way I raised him.)
And anytime we're struggling, I just say, "Ross, hang in there with me for just a few more months. Trust me enough to do it my way for just a little longer. Help me keep this relationship intact."
And he does.
And I'm thankful for that.
And I respect him for that.
I love you Ross.Thanks for always being my incentive plan.
(And now I'm off to blow-dry my hair so I can take my 18 year old son out for his birthday dinner.)
oh Karen, you made me tear up. If my boys turn out as respectful and as sweet as Ross I will be so proud. You've done amazing, there's a great spirit inside that boy:)!
Posted by: mandy friend | April 12, 2010 at 04:32 PM
Oh, I got teary! You're a good mom! It flies by way too fast doesn't it!
Posted by: Alisa Logue | April 12, 2010 at 04:37 PM
Karen, congrats on one of the best posts you've ever written.
Your love for your family is obvious any time you talk about them, but a post like this one is a gift to your son that he will treasure forever.
And it's a gift that keeps on givin'!
Posted by: krys72599 | April 12, 2010 at 04:41 PM
Beautiful. I have tears in my eyes!
Posted by: Lindsey | April 12, 2010 at 04:42 PM
Karen, I'm sitting here bawling as I read your post. It's beautifully written. You are such a good mom. I wish you were my friend. I could really use a good one right now. Your family is lucky to have you. You are blessed.
Posted by: Jennifer L | April 12, 2010 at 04:44 PM
Karen, you are the best mom ever. I am in awe of you each and everyday...... happy 18th birthday Ross.... I am 25 today! 4-12 is the BEST.
Posted by: Andrea Elizabeth | April 12, 2010 at 04:46 PM
That was just beautiful Karen! You have done an amazing job as a parent and should be very proud of yourself.
Posted by: Nicole | April 12, 2010 at 04:52 PM
Karen,
What an absolutely beautiful post. Happy 18th Birthday to your Ross - it is apparent that he is a wonderful young man and that he has you to thank for that. Thanks for sharing your journey with us.
I appreciate it very much.
Lynn
Posted by: Lynn | April 12, 2010 at 04:53 PM
A beautiful post and a beautiful family. My family is asking me why I'm smiling and looking wobbly all at the same time ... Happy Birthday to Ross. You did a great job with that kid!
Posted by: Stephanie @ La Dolce Vita | April 12, 2010 at 04:53 PM
I was 17 when I had my boys. (twins) They just turned 20. I feel bad, too, that I didn't do everything perfectly and that I didn't spend more time just being with them. I heard someone talking about what he thought heaven would be like. (not literally, just talking.) He said there would be a bunch of "screening" rooms and you could watch all of these great moments in history and witness first hand what happened. I hope God has a screening room for little moments in history, too, so he can show us how much good he was able to bring out of the mistakes we made. These kids would probably still be great people had we been perfect, but different, ya know? Congratulations on a job well done!
Posted by: Christy | April 12, 2010 at 04:53 PM
Karen, you obviously did a great job with Ross and I have no doubt you are a great Mom! As the Mother of an 18 yr old son myself (and a 20 yr old as well) who also hugs me in front of his friends I feel your frustrations and your joy! Congrats to both you and Ross for helping each other grow up!
Posted by: beth | April 12, 2010 at 04:59 PM
Wow, great post! You are so blessed with an amazing family! Happy Birthday Ross!
Posted by: Lindsey | April 12, 2010 at 05:00 PM
This is one of the most beautiful posts I've ever read! What an amazing mom you are and what an amazing kid he is. I'm all teary-eyed and misty over this one.
Posted by: Stephanie Vetne | April 12, 2010 at 05:02 PM
You did it again.. smiling thru the trears!! You are an amazing mom Karen.. Happy 18th birthday Ross.. Good job!!
Posted by: teresa b | April 12, 2010 at 05:03 PM
That post was beautiful. I think it would make great text for an entire album. Just pictures of you and your boy and these heartfelt words.
Posted by: Yolanda | April 12, 2010 at 05:06 PM
Man, you almost had me in tears with this one! You had me wondering about where Ross was moving to with your last post(as if I actually knew him, ha!) Loved the bag of Top Ramen(still love that stuff!)
Posted by: Dusti | April 12, 2010 at 05:07 PM
I am teared up as well. That was a truly beautiful entry. I am raising 3 boys, 8, 7, and 2, and hope that I can maintain special relationships with each one of them as you have with Ross. You have done an amazing job, and it shows. He loves you so openly.....and that isnt something that comes automatically....it is something that is shared and shown. Kudos to you, Karen. I hope you have an amazing night with Ross as he celebrates his 18th birthday.
Posted by: Heather Freeman | April 12, 2010 at 05:09 PM
Oh my Karen, that was so sweet and heartfelt! You certainly raised a good boy :)
Posted by: Carla | April 12, 2010 at 05:17 PM
Well said! You did a great job! Off to wipe my tears! Happy Birthday Ross!
Posted by: Addie | April 12, 2010 at 05:21 PM
That was a beautiful story, made me tear up.
Posted by: Jennifer | April 12, 2010 at 05:24 PM
karen, you did it! you raised one heck of an awesome kid there and i'm so glad you share your stories here with us. i've said it before, but i'm gonna go ahead and say it again-- ross ROCKS! and so do you!!
Posted by: michelle | April 12, 2010 at 05:29 PM
I got tears in my eyes just reading your words Karen! While I'm sure you've made your share of mistakes (what mom hasn't) it's obvious you've done such an amazing job with your son! My son is 14 now & every time I read your posts about Ross I hope and pray that I will have that same kind of relationship with him that you have with your son! You are so very lucky to have him!! And he's incredibly lucky to have you, too. I hope he has a happy birthday. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts with all of us out here!
Posted by: Trina | April 12, 2010 at 05:29 PM
Bravo Mama. Bravo.
Posted by: val koop | April 12, 2010 at 05:42 PM
You rock.
Posted by: jennifer Compton | April 12, 2010 at 05:45 PM
Best post to date...
You're lucky to have each other!!
Posted by: Valerie + Madigan | April 12, 2010 at 05:48 PM
I was just sitting here wishing my son could stay 8 for a while longer...now I am really wishing. It is so true, we hurry through the childhood and then wonder what happened. I so enjoy watching your "happy ever after" Karen!
Posted by: Monica | April 12, 2010 at 05:57 PM
Best post ever. Made me cry. This hit close to home because I'm a college student and I have a baby. Even though I'm not single, I totally understand the incentive plan and I totally understand not feeling like a normal college kid. I hope that one day Ev and I will have the same kind of relationship because when you say that he calls you beautiful, I just die inside hoping he will do the same for me someday.
Posted by: Jaimie | April 12, 2010 at 05:58 PM
what an inspiring post. your guys are lucky to have each other. at some points in your story i thought you were telling MY story.
Posted by: jessica jo | April 12, 2010 at 06:00 PM
Beautifully written. Happy birthday Ross!
Posted by: Melanie | April 12, 2010 at 06:04 PM
Wow. What a powerful blog post. I think I'm going to reread this one every single time I need a pick me up. You are the best mom ever. It's so encouraging to read your thoughts on raising Ross. You are such an inspiration. How very lucky all our kids are to have you as their mom. I can't stop crying over your blog post. Thanks so much Karen for sharing such details about your life with us. Thanks for making my day.
ps - Annie looks EXACTLY like you in that young picture of you!
Posted by: Jenny Alfonso | April 12, 2010 at 06:08 PM
This was so beautiful. You should be so proud that you were able to go to college and raise such a wonderful son. Being a Single Mom so hard. Quite the accomplishment! Be proud. Thanks for sharing your life with all of us. Lori
Posted by: Lori | April 12, 2010 at 06:16 PM
Lovely story! You're so blessed! :)
Happy Birthday to your son!!!
Posted by: malinda | April 12, 2010 at 06:24 PM
I love this story. So sentimental and so true. As a new mother to an 8-month old, I can take this story from you as advice....to not "wish my baby's life away." Thanks for such a sweet story.
Posted by: Lauren | April 12, 2010 at 06:27 PM
I NEVER comment on blogs, a silent observer, make that fan, I am. However, that was hands down the best blog post I have read in a long time, if not ever. I am not a mother, but found myself releasing a tear (or three, who's counting) due to the shear honesty and openness of your words. The best part is, it sounds like you have raised an incredible human being, and that along with love, will never change. Congratulations- to both of you.
Posted by: Catherine Reum | April 12, 2010 at 06:31 PM
oh how i wish i was doing as good of a job as you are... your kids seem so happy and balanced...finding balance is something I struggle with every day.
I know what you mean about wishing their childhood away. I am struggling with that right now.(and wish that I could stop it). I keep thinking that if I can just get through this current phase, things will get easier. For example, if I can just make it through May, I will be done with preschool forever and I will have more than a 2 hour gap in my day when I can get something accomplished:( and so on and so far...
thank you so much for your post today. It helps me to know that I am not the only one who has ever felt this way. Your post today will make me a better mom tomorrow:)
thanks so much!
Kim
Posted by: Kim Hastie | April 12, 2010 at 06:36 PM
i'm in tears.
this is beautiful.
you are a good mom. an intentional mom.
i hope my son (children) delight in me when they are 18, just at yours delights in you.
Posted by: denise | April 12, 2010 at 06:43 PM
What lovely sentiments!
Posted by: Rebecca Brigham | April 12, 2010 at 06:49 PM
I'm LOVING every single word in this post. So very well written and I have tears in my eyes.
You are a wonderful mom and it shows through your child (their pictures) and the wonderful posts that you share with us. You're family is amazing and super special.
I'm a single mom and this post has by far made me feel like everything that I do (as tough as it is) is worth it. My son is 6 and I pray everyday that I'm doing things right. It's a struggle in deed but after reading this post I know, that I'm doing thing just right.
Thank you precious for your words of wisdom that you share. It truly impacts so many of us.
Happy Birthday Ross. You're mom is so lucky to have you and vice versa!
Posted by: D'Nese | April 12, 2010 at 06:50 PM
Oh my, I love all your posts but this one hit me right in the stomach. You brought tears of pride and joy and triumph to my eyes. At 27, I found myself a divorced single woman with a three-year-old daughter. I know what you're talking about when you mention "social-stigma." I too worked hard to fight off poor self-esteem and more than a little shame as I worked a full-time job, went to night school, and raised my beautiful, successful, amazingly wise and wonderful daughter, who now is 29 and still my best friend. I remember her chubby little hand patting me on the back and her little voice telling me, "It's ok, Mom, we're fine," as I tried to hide my worry and tears from her when we had "more month than money." THANK YOU for sharing these poignant and personal thoughts. I have no doubt they will be read by someone who needs to hear that it's possible to make this challenging but rewarding journey and come out stronger on the other side. And I thank you for the kind and lyrical reminder of all I have achieved and why that is so much more important than the more trivial troubles I face today. You are an inspiration, Karen. Warmest, Janie
Posted by: Janie | April 12, 2010 at 06:51 PM
Happy Birthday Ross and please pass me a tissue.
Posted by: Bev F | April 12, 2010 at 06:51 PM
Congratulations on making it through. It seems like you did an awesome job and have a pretty great son on your side ... and thanks to you, he'll know what the truly important stuff is once he starts out on his own.
Posted by: Beverly | April 12, 2010 at 06:57 PM
oh my goodness, Karen! I haven't checked in on your blog in awhile due to computer issues. lol I thought I'd catch up, an hour later...I'm still reading your poosts. I've cried 3 times! My heart is all warm and fuzzy and achy. You are such an inspiration to all moms. I wish we lived closer, so we could hang out. I just adore you. xoxo
Posted by: Glendy | April 12, 2010 at 07:01 PM
Wow, you should be very proud of yourself and Ross. What a wonderful story. Thank you for sharing.
Posted by: Cindy | April 12, 2010 at 07:04 PM
Lovely post Karen. Happy Birthday Ross!!
Posted by: JeanetteB | April 12, 2010 at 07:12 PM
amazing post! Brought tears to my eyes because like you, when I was 19 years old I was also a single mom of a beautiful little girl. I couldn't have raised her without the help of family. My daughter is now 14 and I hope when she is 18 that we have that special bond that you and Ross have. Thank you for this post!!
Posted by: Stacy | April 12, 2010 at 07:17 PM
I'm in tears.
Posted by: Alis in Wnderlnd | April 12, 2010 at 07:18 PM
sob. amazing post.
Posted by: allison Gottlieb | April 12, 2010 at 07:20 PM
love your honesty! Many tears were shed. God Bless you and your family Karen!
Posted by: Cara in NJ | April 12, 2010 at 07:22 PM
You're right that your not done parenting- there is still much to teach. I know because we continue to train our almost 22 yr old daughter. She still lives here too- she has a curfew and she's still on the dish rotation, some people think that is weird, her beau doesn't though. I'm guessing that she'll be engaged sometime this year. I started out as a single mom too, in my mid 20's with overly involved parents (the kind with the net before you fall),I lacked confidence, I hoped she'd get through certain stages quickly also, and that I regret too. She's spent one summer in another state, working at a Bible camp, she just spent a week in Mex on a missions trip- She's a beautiful young woman and my best friend. She knows me better than anyone else, even my Hubby. I'm right there with you Karen, I'll be praying for you as Ross graduates and moves into his adult life.
Posted by: Kimberly | April 12, 2010 at 07:22 PM
Wow, this pic sure looks like annie. The best blog post you have had in a while. You can feel the love!!
Posted by: Cindy Welch | April 12, 2010 at 07:22 PM
Happy Birthday to your beautiful soN!
he's a perfect gem, that one. and you certainly
have a hand in that, how awesome!
tara
Posted by: tara pollard pakosta | April 12, 2010 at 07:27 PM
You rock Karen!! (said with a rather large lump in my throat). ;-)
Posted by: Denise L | April 12, 2010 at 07:27 PM
Could you please add a kleenex warning on posts like this?!!! I so admire your relationship with your son!
Posted by: Beth | April 12, 2010 at 07:31 PM
that was so beautiful and sweet that it brought tears to my eyes. ross is just as lucky to have you, as you are to have him.
Posted by: leni | April 12, 2010 at 07:31 PM
If my girls (1 and 3) grow up to be like Ross - or treat me how Ross treats you - or says the kind, sweet things Ross says to you - I will know I've succeeded as a mother. You sound like a fantastic mother and bravo to you for the road you've traveled and making it to this point. You are an inspiration.
Posted by: Jen I. | April 12, 2010 at 07:31 PM
A beautiful post.
Posted by: Jenny Schimak | April 12, 2010 at 07:35 PM
okay, that deserved a Kleenex! If you have a good relationship with your kid and he feels like he's ready to give it a go on his own, then you have to think you've done a lot right!!
Posted by: Patty Hetrick | April 12, 2010 at 07:54 PM
what a beautiful + inspiring post karen! it made me cry.
Posted by: sarah | April 12, 2010 at 07:54 PM
I am 8 weeks away from graduating from University with a 3 year degree, I have done it as a 40 year old single mum and my amazing Grace (daughter) was definitely my incentive! I love this post as it makes me think of all that I have got through! Well done to both you and Ross for being there for each other!
Posted by: Gill | April 12, 2010 at 08:04 PM
That was simply an amazing and moving post! Thank you for sharing so freely of yourself.
Posted by: Michelle A | April 12, 2010 at 08:06 PM
I know a lot of people have already said this, but this is beautiful. I love your honesty, Karen, and the touching way you tell your stories. I know exactly what it means to have an incentive plan to do this parenting thing right -- my two boys are now 10 and 5, and they have been my incentive plan since the moment I first felt them move. I hope Ross has a birthday to remember!
Posted by: Jen Spain | April 12, 2010 at 08:16 PM
You made me tear up Karen! Happy birthday Ross. :)
Posted by: Danielle Roe | April 12, 2010 at 08:22 PM
That made me cry. I don't want my kids to get bigger, but I know they are. You are an awesome mom! I hope that I have a strong relationship with each of my kids as they start leaving.
Also, the expression on your face in that picture reminds me of your youngest little girl's expressions.
Posted by: Shauna Thompson | April 12, 2010 at 08:25 PM
This absolutely encourages and tugs at my heart all at the same time. So glad you had such a support team so things could turn out so well for the both of you :)
Posted by: Susie | April 12, 2010 at 08:32 PM
Wow. Beautiful post.
Posted by: Wendy | April 12, 2010 at 08:34 PM
Awwww - you're such a good mama. I sent my baby to college this year. And even though he's 1/2 hour away....I missed him so much for the first 5 months, I ached. I loved those days when he was my "little buddy". But that's what life is all about. You did a good job and set a good foundation for him. He'll do you proud :)
Posted by: Kirsten | April 12, 2010 at 08:38 PM
WOW!!
Posted by: debbi g. | April 12, 2010 at 08:41 PM
Wow! My daughter just turned 21 on Saturday, I have had some of the same feelings about wishing times away. I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes. Great post!!
Posted by: Bobbie | April 12, 2010 at 08:43 PM
Beautifully written as always. I love your blog because you are so honest, and so open, and you have so much to teach. I've been feeling regrets too, as my girls gather birthdays. Thank you for sharing your beautiful life. Happy Birthday Ross - you have one incredible Mom.
Posted by: Michelle J | April 12, 2010 at 08:46 PM
Thanks for making us all cry!! Snothead :P
Posted by: Mary | April 12, 2010 at 09:22 PM
i just cried! it feels like we lived the same life! I had my son when i was 19!! and he's now 16. .. i've already been told, "when he turns 18, buy him a new set of luggage!!" .. i personally like the grill idea. ;)
Posted by: jea. | April 12, 2010 at 09:31 PM
Wow, very touching! You both are very lucky for making it thru with such a great relationship. Ross is a good role model for his siblings too.
I can totally relate to the wishing away the childhood part. We are just so darn tired & busy during that part of their/our lives. I remember wanting to sit in my closet just to have a few minutes by myself. Now I sooo miss having those little kid times but guess that is this what grandkids are for.
Posted by: gina harpur | April 12, 2010 at 09:34 PM
Wow....I'm not even a mother...but this was tugging at my heartstrings. So sweet. You're both very lucky people.
Posted by: gina | April 12, 2010 at 10:02 PM
Karen, thank you so much for sharing this with us!
Posted by: Nadine | April 12, 2010 at 10:02 PM
Ross and I share a birthday....he's a bit younger than me (like 19 years)!
Your writing on him brought tears to my eyes! How lucky you boyh have been to have each other.
Posted by: Stacy | April 12, 2010 at 10:15 PM
I just love reading your blog. Thanks for sharing! Happy birthday to your "incentive plan"!
Posted by: Dina | April 12, 2010 at 10:38 PM
Well done Karen, well done.
Posted by: Mary Ann | April 12, 2010 at 11:38 PM
Wow. This resonates with me so much. I was 18 when I had my son (he's almost 5 now and it went by SO fast.. I'm too young to have a 5 year old!) and I hope once he gets to be that age, that he's a great young man .. like Ross. You two are so lucky. But then again, maybe you're terrific at everything and this was just meant to be :0)
Posted by: Alisa | April 12, 2010 at 11:43 PM
1) I love your shorts
2) you look SO MUCH like Annie in that photo
3) you can still impart life lessons even if Ross is not living at home, trust me
4) you're an amazing mom and an amazing person
5) Happy Birthday Ross
hugs
Helena
Posted by: Helena | April 13, 2010 at 12:23 AM
You have done an outstanding job raising your son! You should be so so proud of yourself. You are both so lucky to have each other. I hope my children will one day respect me just as much. Good job, Karen!
Posted by: Delores | April 13, 2010 at 12:52 AM
Wow that was amazing! I have always admired you for your scrapbooking stuff - I have loved the papers and albums and other stuff you've designed. But I think the reason I love your blog is for your perspective on life, raising children and the importance of family. I love the way you write. I think Ross was lucky to have you too! And I hope he reads your post today.
Posted by: Donna W | April 13, 2010 at 02:49 AM
Karen, beautiful words that made me cry. I hope I can have a relationship like that with my children, i'm due to have my first baby any day now.
Thanks for your honesty! Oh, and Annie looks so much like you in this picture!
Posted by: Helen Walsh | April 13, 2010 at 03:10 AM
Awesome post!
I just have to say that that is such an Annie face you're pulling!!!
Posted by: Tara | April 13, 2010 at 04:10 AM
This is my favorite post. I just love everything about it!
Posted by: Suzette | April 13, 2010 at 04:15 AM
karen - that was an amazing post. It touched my heart. you made it and ross will make it and you two will still have each other as incentive plans.
Posted by: Kimberly Minyard | April 13, 2010 at 04:21 AM
I sit here crying (happy crying) because this is just so beautiful and powerful and wonderful! Congratulations!! You accomplished the hardest task in this lifetime: raising a smart, responsible, caring son that is going to go out into this world and contribute. You are an AWESOME Mom - your kids are lucky to have you (and we can tell you feel the same about them)!!
Posted by: Stephanie | April 13, 2010 at 04:22 AM
Secret: I may have just cried reading that. And my nickname is "stone cold" given to me by my husband because I don't cry... sheesh.
Posted by: Aimee Westcott | April 13, 2010 at 05:15 AM
Oh man, that made me tear up. I'm 20 years older than you were then, but a single mom now of two, a seven year old son and a two year old daughter. And I totally feel a lot of the same things you wrote about here. Trying to weave our way through this differently challenging path, hoping I don't screw it up for them, knowing that it will all be ok in the end. Kudos on doing such an awesome job!
Posted by: Cate O'Malley | April 13, 2010 at 05:26 AM
Loved this post! Thanks for reminding me to slow down with my little ones. I too have a tendency to "wish this stage away" at times! I sounds like you have raised an amazing man!
Posted by: RachaelC | April 13, 2010 at 05:49 AM
Oh my gosh...that brought tears to my eyes! So beautifully written.
Posted by: Jessica | April 13, 2010 at 06:08 AM
it's too early for crying. what a beautiful relationship the 2 of you have. amazing.
Posted by: tess s. | April 13, 2010 at 06:18 AM
I don't think I've ever commented, but I've loved every post. You really are amazing!
Posted by: Wendy | April 13, 2010 at 06:29 AM
You and Ross are extremely lucky to have each other. What a great post.
Posted by: Jennifer M. | April 13, 2010 at 06:32 AM
Great post! He's a lucky guy to have a great mom like you!
Posted by: Christy | April 13, 2010 at 06:32 AM
This post had me smiling while tearing up!!! Great Job Mom!!! Happy Birthday Ross!!
Posted by: johannahb | April 13, 2010 at 06:44 AM
This is an incredible post. Brought tears to my eyes. Cheers!
Posted by: beanski | April 13, 2010 at 06:48 AM
(I am crying at my desk in my office... so not cool.)
I hope I can be 1/10 the mom you've been to Ross to my two little boys.
Posted by: Pamela | April 13, 2010 at 07:16 AM
wow, wow, wow! thank you for sharing
Posted by: lori | April 13, 2010 at 07:16 AM
This is a beautiful post. You write beautifully. Congrats to you for doing such an amazing job with him. You should be proud of yourself. I know you are crazy proud of Russ. Happy Birthday Russ!
Posted by: Shannon Laux | April 13, 2010 at 07:19 AM
that was so touching and so real happy birthday Ross take care and go make your mama proud.
Posted by: K de ron | April 13, 2010 at 07:20 AM