My Grandfather.

If you're the praying type...I sure would appreciate one for my Grandfather.

I can't find out any details, but my Dad called me and told me that my Grandfather fell and hit his head and someone found him and took him to the hospital (and that he's not doing very well).

I've been trying to make a bunch of phone calls, but can't get in touch with anyone.

Josh helped me track down the hospital he was at, but they said he was discharged on Monday.

It's a long story, but some of the relationships on my Dad's side of the family have been pretty strained for a lot of years (that's why the amount of info. that my Dad got was pretty limited).

I want to go back though and write about something that I should have written about a long time ago.

My Grandfather moved in with my Dad a few years ago after my Grandmother passed away.

I hadn't even seen my Grandfather since I was two years old (I just remember getting Christmas phone calls and birthday cards with ten bucks inside from my Grandparents when I was a kid).

The relationship between my Dad and my Grandfather was particularly strained.

So it was a big deal when my Dad and Step-Mom asked him to move in with them.

I was really excited about it though and for whatever reason, he and I became really close, really quick.

He's funny and charming and smart as a tack.  He tells stories for hours and treats me like I am a princess (a 10 year old princess, but a princess all the same).

We used to email each other every single day (even though he was 80+ years old and missing a few fingers, he still learned how to email) and we went to church and lunch together almost every Sunday for two or so years.

Things got pretty bad between my Dad and my Grandfather though.

And I just wanted to stay out of it.

I felt like my Dad and Step-Mom had done the best that they could and I felt like my Grandfather was being stubborn (but if you asked him though, he'd say that I'm the stubborn one).

But my Grandfather kept wanting to bring me into it (which started to put a strain on our relationship too).

And so my Grandfather ended up moving back to Texas.

It was really hard for both of us. 

Hard for me because he was leaving and hard for me because I was feeling guilty.  I was feeling like I should have offered for him to move in with me (but I was a single-mom and felt like it was more than I could take on at the time).

So our relationship changed a lot.  We still email each other (just not as frequently as we used to) and we still talk on the phone every now and then. 

He reads my blog every day.

And while I was at church the other day, I turned over a book mark that he had engraved for me and saw the letters "YTMR" on it.  It took me a few minutes to remember what "YTMR" stood for, but when I remembered, I just sat there and smiled for a few minutes (he used to tell me that I should spend my time finding a husband instead of hanging out with an old man like him and I told him that he was my "Temporary Mr. Right", hence the "YTMR": Your Temporary Mr. Right).

I've been wanting to get out to Texas (I've got a class scheduled out there this Summer) to see him and because he's never met Annie (even though he sends her gifts all the time and talks about how he can't wait to spoil her).

But I constantly have this thought in the back of my head that I need to be doing more.

This feeling like I need him to know how much he means to me and that regardless of how things turned out that I love him like crazy and even though I tell him that I love him every time I talk to him...it still doesn't feel like enough.

And when I heard that he was in the hospital and wasn't doing well - I felt panicked because as much as he is looking forward to passing away (he wants to be with my Grandmother so badly, that he has been counting his days for years now), I just always felt like I would be there holding his hand when it happened.

And so even though I don't know exactly what is going on right now, the hospital I called said that he's been released and for me, that means that I get the chance to make sure he knows exactly how much I love him and that means that I get the chance to make sure that he gets to hold Annie in his arms and to smoother her with the kisses that he has been waiting to smother her with.

And for that chance, I am so very thankful.

Comments

[Aja]

Oh...I am sitting here with tears in my eyes! You are an amazing person, and I am so thankful that you may have been given this chance to let him know how much you love him. I've had a horribly strained relationship with my father for years, and reading your story makes me think twice about how worth it is to be the "stubborn one". I'm not usually the "praying type", but I will send one up for you and your grandpa, and the chance that he can smother Annia Bannie in those kisses!

[Addie]

Karen, I'll say a little prayer for your Grandpa and hope all is well.

[kristina]

Prayers going up for your Grandfather, Karen! I hope you do get that second chance! Hugs!

[Rachel]

Saying prayers Karen. I love what you wrote.

[Angi B]

i am the praying kind and i will , no doubt...

[Glendy Morrison]

Hi Karen. Donny called me last week to let me know how jealous he was that you were going to Disney Land, I thought I would check out your blog to see how the trip went. I have tears flowing down my cheeks reading about your grandpa.My prayers are with your family.

[jen]

Prayers going up for you and your family!

[JillR]

Well, you know I'm the praying kind. Whatever happens, he will know how much you love him, ya know? He will see it. Love you......

[jenn]

Saying prayers right now.

[Tanya Webster]

yup, I'm the praying kind too sweetie and I will be doing alot of that for you and your grandpa.....and you know, he TOTALLY KNOWS that you love him...he really does...take care sweetie....

[Brooke - in Oregon]

Prayers GF! Yep I am crying now too, we are dealing with stuff with my grandmother and it can be hard, oh so hard. Love her like crazy but I can't live with her so ya I feel guilty totally! Hugs and prayers coming your way.

[Jen]

I check in with your blog periodically and this entry brough tears to my eyes. We have never met, but the way you wrote about your family and their imperfections (a lot like mine) is so honest and moving and beautiful. I'll be sending up prayers for all of you, and hoping that Annie gets those kisses.

[Ashley Schultz]

I have tears in my eyes. You are lucky to have such a beautiful relationship with your grandfather. My thoughts and prayers and with him and you.

[Louise]

what a big heart you have for your grandfather. This post really touched me. I have a distant relationship with my Dad. I feel bad I don't see him very much at all and we are only 1 and half hour away. This really hit home. Thanks so much for reminding me how life is short and those we love need to know. Have a safe trip. I know your grandfather must already know how much you love him. My prayers are with you.

Louise

[Elizabeth B]

My thoughts and prayers are with you karen..here's hoping you get a chance to say good bye.
e

[Chris Hauck]

What a touching story! I hope that you reach him in time and that you're able to share with him how special he is to you, though deep down inside he knows. You have a connection, you and he. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Chris

[Niki]

I hope all is well and my heart goes out to you and annie!

[Donna]

Karen- so sorry for your troubles. Prayers going up for you and yours. Hope you make it in time.