With all the craziness & business in our lives - I keep telling Ross that if he ever needs some time with just he and I together - just the two of us - like it was for so many years, that all he has to do is say the word. He's taken me up on it here and there - sometimes he just wants to go for a drive to talk (some of the best conversations we've ever had have been in the car), or to grab a smoothie (he gets strawberry & I get peach) and head out on the road listening to our favorite music as loud as the stereo will go (I get this picture in my head of he and I singing along at the top of our lungs with "Total Eclipse of the Heart"), sometimes he wants to drive to our very favorite restaurant, Belle Union so that we can have dinner and mud pie for dessert (the layout is from one of our trips to Belle - not one of my favorite layouts - but they can't all be favorites, right?). I love those times with him.
Last night, he just wanted to head to Denny's...he gets the Grand Slam Breakfast, I get Moons Over My Hammy (minus the ham) and two big, fat milkshakes. Probably took a little over an hour out of our night...but it's just the cure for he & I to feel reconnected.
I Love talking to him. I love listening to him and feeling so good about the man that he is slowly becoming. Seems like we have been able to talk like this since he was really, really little, which seems so weird because trying to have a conversation with Coley is like trying to have a conversation with...well...a 5 year old (he's jumping all over the place - always distracted - makes me feel guilty that Coley and I can't share the same good conversations that Ross and I have always been able to). I feel lucky though, that it is something that Ross & I have always been able to share.
We talked about how quickly this last year has gone by. We talked about how Annie is going to be here before we know it. We talked about how much closer he feels to Josh than he had imagined he could. We talked about school and ex-girlfriends and drugs (he's learning a lot about drugs in health class right now and has lots of questions). We talked about the lessons that can be learned just from watching other people (good & bad). We talked about integrity. We talked about how good our milkshakes were.
I don't consider myself a perfect mom...I've got a looooooooong way to go and most of the lessons I've learned about parenting, I've learned from Ross. I'm impatient...I've been known to fly off the handle too easily...and I struggle with keeping the balance between work and family in check. But he and I have grown up together in some ways - we've gone through some huge life changes together. He's been my biggest fan and my biggest worry. I have a bond with him that could never be replaced.
Don't get me wrong, he's 13 and he drives me crazy half the time. Leaves his stinky, nasty socks everywhere, his room is always a mess, his electric guitar is always too loud, he's forgetful and sometimes pouty. But I can see through all of that. I feel so confident about who he is and who he is becoming. He will be an amazing man, an amazing husband (he is so respectful of woman) and an amazing father. He'll be a man with depth and a man of his word. He'll be funny and spontaneous and quick to apologize. He knows his weaknesses and will certainly struggle with those through the years - but don't we all.
So glad for a little bit of time together. Love you Ross.