I broke my fibula (the smaller of the two lower leg bones) recently.
Courtney Lee had a friend over and us girls decided to go roller-skating while the boys went on a man-date. (They bought a few car magazines from Barnes & Nobles and read them while eating burgers & fries at Jasper's.)
I was quite impressed with my skills at the rink. In fact, while I was skating (backwards mind-you) I was contemplating the fact that somehow, my 20-year roller-skating hiatus had actually made me a much better skater.
And I wish I left the rink with a really cool leg-breaking story to tell, like I broke it playing skate-style Red Light, Green Light (which I played and lost without injury), or doing a triple-axel (like my friend Janine suggested I tell you all), or that I was even skating at all.
Truth be told though, it happened in the snack bar.
The girls mentioned being hungry, so we got a pretzel for Courtney and her friend to split and a nacho for Yans and I in the hopes that it would tide us over until dinner (at Bella Union.)
The nacho was verging on inedible (What does one expect from roller-rink nachos?) so I stood up and rolled over towards the trashcan and that's when it happened...
I felt my legs start to slip out from underneath me and then I saw my arms (along with my half-eaten, nearly-inedible nacho) fly up over my head and next thing I knew, I was laying on the floor of the snack-bar with nacho cheese sauce from head-to-toe and my left leg tucked underneath my body.
And as if that embarrassment weren't enough, within seconds a swarm of 6-12 year olds on roller-skates had encircled me, all of them trying to catch a glimpse of the old lady laying on the floor with nacho-cheese sauce from head-to-toe.
Thankfully, there was a mom though. A lovely, dark-haired mom whom I had exchanged a smile with earlier in the evening who came alongside me to see if I was ok. She told me not to try to get up. She put ice on my leg. She cleaned the nacho cheese sauce off of me. And she held my hand until I could get ahold of someone to come and get me. (Josh has been swamped with work, so he had purposely left his phone inside his truck while he was on his man-date with Cole - so I called my Dad and step-mom instead.)
And then my step-mom took me to the E.R. while my dad went to find Josh and Coley.
And a few hours later (after the best E.R. experience I've ever had - I swear, it was like a stay at a five-star hotel - minus the whole x-ray and gurney thing) I went home in a soft cast, with crutches and a prescription for pain meds.
And now, I'm in a hard cast and on Advil and crutches.
And that means I had a cast that needed decorating (Thanks Nancy for all the colored Sharpie pens you sent the girls.)...
They saved a spot for Josh and Courtney Lee though, who later drew roller-skate wheels and laces onto the bottom of my cast.
Smart-alecks.
woo woo woo!!! poor girlie!! i LOVE rollar skating and i'm sure you must have slipped on someone elses spilt inedible nacho cheese sauce to make you fall!!
the kids look like they had a blast coloring your cast for you tho!! would love to see a shot of the smart aleck wheels too!! wink!! hope you heal soon. smooch!!!
Posted by: karlalala | October 08, 2012 at 10:45 AM
Oh no! Bless your heart... Totally sounds like something I would do. Hope it's not too painful & you're able to be back on your feet soon!
Posted by: Bridget | October 08, 2012 at 11:58 AM
Sorry to hear this. You even rock (or maybe I should say "roll") a blog post about your injury - love it! Hope your recovery is quick, my friend!
Posted by: SusanC | October 08, 2012 at 12:02 PM
I feeling bad for laughing... just the image of fluorescent orange nacho sauce....
xoxo feel good
Posted by: karen eyink | October 08, 2012 at 12:05 PM
I'm so sorry about your fall! You have guts!!! I wouldn't even dream of trying to put on a pair of roller skates since it's been about 25+ years for me!!!
SO EXCITED to see a Karen Russell POST! I have missed you! I have missed your pics! and I've def. missed YOU!
Sorry for your accident...but Happy to see your post!!!
Stacey
Posted by: Stacey | October 08, 2012 at 12:11 PM
Oh no Karen!!! Don't be stubborn and try to do things....boss those smart-alecks around like a Queen...wink. Feel better!
Posted by: Melissa | October 08, 2012 at 12:45 PM
Oh my goodness! So sorry that happened to you, good thing that one mother was there to lend a helping hand. Wishing you a speedy recovery!
Posted by: Megan S | October 08, 2012 at 12:54 PM
On the bright side...your toe nails look fabulous! Feel better!
Posted by: Kathy D | October 08, 2012 at 01:03 PM
So sorry about your leg!!! It's been awhile since I have been on skates. Probably about 10 years since I have been to the rink. We used to take my now 14 yr old a lot back then. I think I too would end up with a broken leg. I can't help but chuckle at the part about Josh drawing skates and laces on your cast. :)
Posted by: Michelle | October 08, 2012 at 01:42 PM
Thanks for the giggle! Your account is hilarious and could've happened to me -- super bloody roller blading crash with gravel the night before annual PAP visit anyone? Hope you get pampered a little!
Posted by: Kate | October 08, 2012 at 01:57 PM
What an unfortunate accident - maybe someone was telling you to slow down ... Hope you get pampered :) Does that mean your Ireland scrapbooking / photography trip with Ali has been postphoned?
Posted by: young nanny | October 08, 2012 at 02:19 PM
Oh No ! Enjoy some well deserved pampering. Feel better
Posted by: Kris | October 08, 2012 at 02:56 PM
uh-oh! Hope it heals quickly!!!!
Posted by: Rachelle S | October 08, 2012 at 04:29 PM
You are such a good writer! I wish you had a picture of you from above, covered in cheese with all the little heads looking down at you. You made me laugh on a day I was not in the mood to crack a smile. That was ALL you needed on your plate was a broken leg on top of your heavy workload. At least you made a memory if it. I mean, you are so funny Karen!
Kristi (used to work at Cropper Hopper)
Posted by: Kristi | October 08, 2012 at 05:25 PM
Oh my gosh..I am SO SO sorry. Your photos are just amazing...and they really capture the kids'personality. I was thinking you were in Ireland......did you have to cancel? Thinking of you and hoping that your heal quickly!
Posted by: janel | October 08, 2012 at 06:38 PM
Oh no....did you not go to Ireland with Ali?? Wishing you a speedy recovery!
Posted by: Kathy C. | October 08, 2012 at 07:17 PM
Ouch! (and Courtney Lee cracks me up!)
Posted by: SusanHnSC | October 08, 2012 at 07:24 PM
You are the best story teller. I felt a little guilty as I giggled at this tale...and am sorry you were the main character. Wishing you a speedy recovery and note to self, never ever order nachos at the skate rink:)
Posted by: Lisa | October 08, 2012 at 07:33 PM
My daughter broke her arm at the roller rink just trying to step onto the rink. Ruined her whole volleyball season. Lots of showers with the plastic bag on your leg. I have two things to share (since my daughter broke her other arm 2 years before and sports a rod in it.) Fill Ziplock bags half full with liquid laundry detergent. Get all of the air out. Lay flat in the freezer. We had about 6 to keep rotating. Molds right around the cast to help ice it. (We wrapped a thin towel first.) Then you can wash clothes with it. Also all of her doctors said NO ADVIL as it prevents bone growth. Hope that helps.
Posted by: RobynS | October 08, 2012 at 08:31 PM
Gosh I felt so bad when I first learned of this, and now to read the story....I couldn't help but laugh! (sorry) but you just have a way of making the events sound hilarious and I'm visualizing the neon cheese all over the place! Sure hope you heal quickly! Looks like you have some marvelous artwork on your cast! And a thumbs up on those pretty painted piggies! :)
Posted by: ♥Debbie | October 08, 2012 at 09:29 PM
What a pain in the neck (or was that leg!!!) Are you staying at home now instead of going to Ireland? I noticed Ali is already there. Hope you are feeling better. Regards Kathy A, Brisbane, Australia (PS still to post my comment with the photo link - I know the photo I'm going to use, have had kids on school holidays for 2 weeks here and they just went back yesterday). Hope you get better soon. Kathy
Posted by: Kathy | October 08, 2012 at 09:41 PM
You are entirely too great of a story teller missy! I could see it so well and was giggling, my bad! Hope you are feeling ok and that you can operate those crutches well. Me on the other hand would not and so this is why I refuse to try and skate ever again. Hugs from Conroe, TX
Posted by: Nancy Wyatt | October 09, 2012 at 04:56 AM
That stinks...sorry that happened to you and I hope you are on the mend quick!
Posted by: Corrine | October 09, 2012 at 05:08 AM
that's terrible, all I could think about was how busy you are and moms don't have time to get hurt, you must be going out of your mind! Hope you heal quickly! Thinking of you!
Posted by: Shannon L | October 09, 2012 at 05:34 AM
Hoping you heal quickly. Does that mean you missed your Ireland excursion??
Posted by: Nicky from Okotoks | October 09, 2012 at 05:37 AM
Silver lining? Lots of blogging time?
Oh, wait, that's a silver lining for US...
SO sorry that you were hurt - although you did make me LOL with your story!
You take care of them so well - enjoy THEM taking care of YOU!!!
Posted by: Krys72599 | October 09, 2012 at 05:37 AM
I hope your leg will heal soon.
Posted by: anne leglise | October 09, 2012 at 06:24 AM
Oh my lord, I'm so sorry to hear that Karen! I hope you're not in pain and it heals up nice and quick for you! Crutches are horrible to get around on. I'm thinking of you honey! xXx
Posted by: Rachel Millington | October 09, 2012 at 07:31 AM
Love that last photo of Annie...so cute! Sorry about your leg...a good chance to get lots of writing done I reckon!
Feet up...smile on...ipod in...humming time!
Get well soon Karen!
Posted by: Julie in Aust. | October 09, 2012 at 07:42 AM
Oh, no! That's a horrible story! Although I'm sure in a few years you can all laugh at it.
I hope you aren't in too much pain!
Posted by: Kelli | October 09, 2012 at 08:43 AM
You make the worst things sound light and funny. I know it wasn't funny, but that's what you've turned it into.
I just keep thinking, if Karen had had a camera in her hand when all those kids surrounded her and stared down, the looks on their faces would have been quite a shot. Not to mention the shot that one of them could have gotten of you if they had a camera. Better that they didn't.
Posted by: nancy boothe | October 09, 2012 at 09:51 AM
OH No!! the exact reason I have given up skating, afraid of breaking something...
And yes what about Ireland???
Get well soon....
Laura
Posted by: laura plunk davis | October 09, 2012 at 10:50 AM
Oh man! Bummer. I have broken everything below my knees at on time or another (I'm a klutz) and crutches stink! See if anyone in your area rents knee scooters, you'll be happy you did!! A knee scooter is much better than crutches any day, just keep the kids off of it. (good luck). Hope you feel better soon!!! Makes getting around 100% better.
Posted by: Cori | October 09, 2012 at 11:12 AM
Oh no! so sorry to hear this! But you crack me up - can't believe you're already blogging it! cutie pie cast decorators though!
Posted by: Stephanie @ La Dolce Vita | October 09, 2012 at 01:14 PM
oh my gosh! i am so sorry that i laughed through this, but i love how your clumsy ways nearly compete with mine! get well soon!
Posted by: mandy friend | October 09, 2012 at 01:30 PM
oh Karen!!!! well I'd rather a leg than arm!!!!! I hope you heal fast!!!!! HUGS!
Posted by: Nicole Campbell | October 09, 2012 at 01:48 PM
I can close my eyes and picture the nachos flying through the air like a movie... get better! Use this time to REST and refresh!!!
Posted by: Robin | October 09, 2012 at 03:30 PM
Oh my Karen...isn't it crazy how quick these things happen?? Hope you're feeling better soon! Your story cracked me up...you are too funny! Take care... & take advantage of this girl...breakfast in bed sounds good to me ;)
Posted by: Tracy | October 09, 2012 at 05:32 PM
i'm so sorry, hope you feel better soon! btw - your title totally has me singing blame it on the rain by milli vanilli
Posted by: candy | October 09, 2012 at 05:37 PM
I'm SO sorry that you broke your leg! I am happy that you just broke one bone though! I broke both of mine at the ankle earlier this year, shortly after I finished the Photographers Workshop so now I'm the proud owner of a couple of plates and many screws. I second the poster recommending the knee scooter. It's totally uncool but so worth it for at least the teeny bit of independence it allows and Physio = Happiness. The best part of breaking a leg is that your balance on one foot will be super duper; nothing like a broken leg for some balance and core strength training! Prayers are with you for patience with your recovery.
Posted by: Cindy G | October 09, 2012 at 06:49 PM
So sorry you were injured, hope you heal quickly with as little pain as possible.
Posted by: Cathy k. | October 10, 2012 at 01:28 AM
keep the faith Karen - don't let it spoil your fun.......relax a little......read a little......(Have you looked at Keith Carter's 'fireflies' book recently - I love his selective focus). Sometimes it's good to step off the merry-go-round, it stops your head spinning :0) Wishing you a lovely recovery period xx
Posted by: Heidi Sharpe | October 10, 2012 at 01:34 AM
Omigosh - heal quickly!! Not the same thing, but totally reminded me of my friend who was asking her kids trick or treating, and she stepped backwards off of a porch and broke her foot. Had to have surgery even. Now, how close is Ireland?
Posted by: Kirsten J | October 10, 2012 at 07:26 AM
Karen, Broken fibulas must be going around. My friend broke hers 2 weeks ago playing catch with er dog.
I'm sorry to say that I too laughed while reading your description. You have such a way with words. Hope you heal soon and enjoy the pampering.
Posted by: Carol Muehleisen | October 10, 2012 at 07:48 AM
I'm so sorry Karen...I know it isn't funny that you broke a bone, but I am dying laughing, almost crying reading your story--That is totally something I would do. Thank you for the great story, and I hope you are feeling better. :)
Posted by: Angie | October 10, 2012 at 12:28 PM
Where are those video cameras when you need them? lol.
Poor, Nellie, that's so pitiful...at the snack bar...really? You make something terrible sound so funny. Was God trying to tell you something about those nachos?
I hope it's feeling better already. :)
Posted by: kat-in-texas | October 10, 2012 at 05:20 PM
Karen - I am so sorry, but also can't believe that someone else broke their leg just like I did. Unfortunately, mine was a tib/fib fracture that required rods and pins, but also in the snack bar area of a roller rink where I was trying to be a cool chaperone to a group of junior highers from our church. No nacho sauce for me, and no cool story to tell about the scars on leg. That was 15 years ago, and I still won't put things on my feet that make me move! Hope the recovery is fast.
Posted by: Van & Lydia Khieu | October 11, 2012 at 10:09 PM
Oh no Karen, aren't you going to Ireland soon? Will you still be in the cast? What a bummer! prayers for a quick recovery! <3
Posted by: Sylvia | October 12, 2012 at 08:38 PM
bummer - praying for a swift recovery. and aren't you glad it was after all your training and the actual races you did all the training for? that would have been even worse!
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Posted by: homme manches longues | October 17, 2012 at 02:33 AM
and wait for the sun to sink.8 p.m. - The whitewashed buildings that stretch along the cliffs are actually a series of villages from Fira in the south, past Firostefani, Imerovigli to Oia in the north.
Posted by: Cheap Football Boots | October 19, 2012 at 12:32 AM
:( what a complete bummer :( Praying that it heals super fast!
Posted by: Valerie | October 20, 2012 at 06:50 PM