And if You're With Me Put Your Hands Hiiiiiiigh

I stayed the night in Portland on Thursday. (That's the same city where I did the triathlon back in August.)

I got into town around 3:00 p.m., took my stuff up to my room, changed into my running clothes, went to the gift shop to see if I could buy some socks (I forgot to pack socks) and then I untangled the cord to my earphones as I walked down to the waterfront to go running.

I had planned to run four miles and decided to take the same route I ran during the Portland Triathlon.

About a mile into it though, my legs were feeling heavy and my ankles were killing me so I decided on a three mile run instead.

And that's about the time when Sean Combs (aka Puff Daddy, Puffy, Puff, P.Diddy, Diddy, King Combs, Swag, etc.) shuffled in to encourage me with these lyrics...

I'm back to feeling like there's nothing that I can't try and if you're with me put your hands hiiiiiigh.

And is it just me or did Puff find Jesus?

In the months leading up to the triathlon, I felt like maybe I had finally gotten to the place where I was no longer going to have to fight the mental battle of lacing up my shoes to go running on a daily basis. You know, that conversation in your head that goes something like this; "You should exercise. Yeah, I should but I've got so much work to do today. But it will make you more productive at work. Yeah, but it's raining. Sometimes running in the rain feels kind of good. Yeah, but I don't have any clean socks. That's ok, you can dig some dirty ones out of the hamper. Yeah, but I stubbed my toe this morning and it probably isn't going to feel good if I try to run on it. Running always makes you feel good. Yeah, but look at all the emails I need to get to. A run will clear your mind. I think I'll run tomorrow instead. Yeah, tomorrow."

Turns out that my mind will only give me a reprieve from those internal conversations when I'm exercising on a regular basis. Give me a week with no exercise though and that internal dialogue is back with a vengeance.

I was listening to something the other day that talked about how our brains create a physical pathway between an event and our response to that event. For example, if you eat a maple bar for the first time and you really like it, your body will release dopamine and will create a physical pathway that starts with you eating a maple bar and ends with your feeling good (temporarily) and the more often you eat maple bars, the stronger that pathway will become due to the frequency with which you use it.

So it's not just an emotional love of maple bars, it's a physical response created by eating maple bars.

And once you've developed a pathway, it never goes away. (Yikes.)

The only thing you can do then to overcome a bad pathway is to 'starve it' because the less frequently you use it, the weaker it becomes and then you have to start creating new, healthier pathways (like exercising) knowing that the more frequently you use them, the stronger they will become.

Just ask Josh Downs (who is a runner) if he ever thought I'd become the kind of person who enjoyed running and he'll tell you about the first time we ever went running together because he thought it was both the first and the last time he'd ever see me run.

I hated running more than anyone could possibly hate running.

And when I first started training for the Portland Triathlon, my hatred of running only intensified. I actually kind of liked the biking and could tolerate the swimming, but I hated the running with ever muscle-fiber of my being. About five months into training though, it all flipped; I started to love the running, like the biking and tolerate the swimming.

Me...I loved running.

And in the last four months since the triathlon - those four months when I have barely exercised - I have missed running.

In fact, just about every time I've seen someone running in the last four months, I've wished that I were doing the same; like a physical longing to breathe in all that fresh air and to feel my feet hitting the ground (even when it doesn't feel good - because it doesn't always feel good) and to feel that kind of empowerment.

Me...Missing running (because I developed a physical pathway in my brain between the action of running and how good I feel afterwards.)

I heard something else the other day that said, "You know you need to exercise, so quit exhausting yourself by thinking about it and go DO IT instead - and then get on with living!"

Seriously, if thinking about exercising could make you skinny...I'd be anorexic.

But really, thinking about exercise does nothing but taking up valuable space in my mind - space that could be occupied with something more productive. Thinking about exercise just makes me feel guilty and agitated. Thinking about exercise just gives me time to come up with excuses as to why I can't exercise.

So I made a pact with myself last week to quit thinking about exercising (to just excuse the thought from my brain every time it comes up) and to start doing it instead. Daily. Even if it's just a long walk. I even signed up for my next triathlon and am planning on signing up for a few more things too.

And I feel good.

So when King Combs started singing those words of inspiration in my ear, I got a smile on my face and decided to run six miles instead - the whole running route of the Portland Triathlon - just to prove to myself that I could.

And during the last mile when it started to hurt again, Christina Aguilera (I'm no fan.) came in with these words that I'd like to dedicate to the Portland Triathlon...

"Cause if it wasn't for all of your torture, I wouldn't know how to be this way now and never back down so I want to say thank you 'cause it makes me that much stronger, makes me work a little bit harder, makes me that much wiser so thanks for making me a fighter."

And is it just me or is that video creepy?

And when I left Portland the next morning, I even had the willpower to 'starve the pathway' that would normally lead me to Voodoo Donuts for a maple bar.

And I had this thought...What if a bunch of us made a pact right here, right now on this blog to run a 5k or to do a triathlon or to complete some other sort of exercise related goal and then on January 1st, 2013, you all sent me a photo related to that goal so I could post them - just to show that we did it.

If you're in, leave your name and your goal and any other info. you want to share in the comments section.

If you're with me, put your hands hiiiiiiiiiiiigh.

And if you're reading this Josh Downs...It's so hard feeling like we're leading these completely separate lives. I just want to be with you to share all this good stuff and to be there for each other for all of this hard stuff too. I miss you so bad.

Comments

[Jackie]

i am raising my hands high!! i am in...planning on doing 3 half-marathons this year...crazy, huh? i have already registered, so, there is no turning back. i love your post!

[Trish]

Hey Karen, I too really enjoy your posts! This is what i'm aiming for this year!

http://warriordash.com/

Looks like fun and we all need a little more fun in our lives! Keep runnin and keep those hands high!

[Rachel]

Me. I'm in. Half Marathon #2 this year - this time "just finishing" can't be good enough.

[;) Leigh]

I'm in! It'll be a 5k for me, at least one if not more. As the prolific LL Cool J might say, "Don't call it a comeback, I've been here for years."

[Florence]

I am also in. Want to complete the 5k run in May and perhaps something more in July :)

[Candy]

I am so IN! I loathe running. It's the worst part of my day, but I love having finished a run.

I am running the Cowtown 5k in Fort Worth next month. I'll be sure to send you a picture!

Yay!

[Traci]

I'M IN!

I hate the mother loving heck out of running. My gym closed, and we don't have money to go to another one (we'd paid for a year in advance...). Running is *almost* free. I got some real running shoes. I downloaded the "Couch to 5k" podcasts, and I went once last week for my very first "Hey! I'm going for a run!" I hated it.

But I loved it, too.

I've always envied runners, but figured I'd never be one. Then I'd read somewhere (maybe here?) that being a runner doesn't mean you have to run the entire time. Its okay to go at your own pace, even if your own pace is walking.

My goal is to be able to run a 5k without stopping (whether it be an "official" one or a unofficial one around my neighborhood.

Between your triathlon inspiration, and reading the book "The Happiness Project," this year is going to be DIFFERENT. I know what I want 12 months from now and I know it isn't just going to happen. I have to MAKE it happen!

Thanks for all of your inspiration. It is a joy to come to your blog! :)

[KateinCleveland]

Okay, I'll do it. I will walk/run in the 5K that my company sponsors next October.

[Wendy]

I've been having those same conversations with myself lately.
I love running, but this is always the time of year that I start slacking and lose motivation in all areas of life.

I'm planning to run a 1/2 in June and a marathon in October. Thanks for the motivation to get signed up and make it official.

[Shelby Palmer]

I'm in! I ran my first 5k last July, then another in October and Novemeber, but I haven't been running since. I am ready to get back into it and train for a 1/2 marathon! So with hands held high, today is day 1 of getting back into it :) Thanks for the motivation!

[laura]

Oh Karen... you always get to me...
I may not run a marathon this year but have been out walking since November, with all the aches and pains gonna keep it up.
My goal is to get fit and loose weight.
Thanks and here goes my hand...HIGH !!!!

[Jamie Stahl]

I was having the debate in my head over whether or not I was going to go to the gym tonight (as I have had for the past hour or so) and then thought "hey, go check out to see what Karen Russell has to say today".

Creepy. I'll now be going to the gym tonight. I wrote down a couple of days ago that one of my goals for this year is to run a 5k. Not much, for the non-runner that I am, I have to start somewhere.

Thanks for the encouragement.

[Beth]

You can do it Karen. Resolve to do it every day until you don't have to make the
resolve anymore. When you wake up and NEED to do it you know you are a runner.
I cannot live without running, to me it's like breathing, I need it and crave it
and it makes my day better. The day when I cannot do it anymore will indeed be
a very very sad day for me. I'm only just 50 and running my next marathon in 6
days. So hopefully the day when I cannot run won't be for a long time.

[jadell]

loving your post today!! I ran my first 5k last summer and was so proud of myself! I had planned to run 1 5k this year, but now, I will raise my hands hiigghh and will run 2 this year! I am not sure a 10k is in me yet, but I know i can do 2 5k's. Thanks for the motivation! Here's to a healthier me in 2012!!

[KathyL]

In In for a 5K in 2012!

[Jessica]

Karen you are awesome! I'm IN! I'm not sure what my goal exactly will be (currently trying to recover from an IT band injury) but I WILL do something!!!

[Patricia Ellis]

Karen you ROCK!!! I've been back at the gym since the start of the New Year and my hands are hiiiiiggggghhhhh to keep making positive changes in my life and to my body. I turn 50 this spring and what better time to keep going in this direction. Right? I want to keep living life large and full:)!!

[Louise Fortune]

Hmm, not sure what I can commit to, I avoid exercise, because I am lazy and I hate it. However I am unfit, overweight and only 3 years from being 50.
So I have started swimming this year, up and down the pool, lengths, not just standing around in the water for half an hour supervising my kids and notching that up as a "swim"

I was aiming for 20 lengths in half an hour (whilst my kids have swimming lessons) I haven't done any real swimming in over three years, but I managed 25, so I am committing to swimming twice a week and continuing to up that length count !

[Linda Lynch]

My name is Linda Lynch and by January 2013 I will RUN a 5K instead of walking it. Like you I think I hate to run. I love to walk. Thank you for this challenge - it's inspiring.

[jaymee]

I'm raising my hand HIGH and commiting to running the dirty dash on July 14th. 3 miles of tough obstacles all covered in lots and lots and LOTS of thick mud. In fact I'm going to register and pay my $40.00 right now so I can't back out. You're so awesome Karen, so so awesome. Thanks. : )

[DawnS]

OK Karen...I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm in! For the past 2 years I've started Couch to 5K, but only get as far as week 5 before I stop (too busy, bad weather, yada yada yada) I started it again (for the 3rd time) and have gotten to week 4...but this time I WILL keep going!
This is the year I will run a 5K.

If anyone needs some inspiration I have a board on Pinterest called "You Can Do It!":

http://pinterest.com/everdayglimpses/you-can-do-it/

Thanks Karen for the push! I wish we had a forum where we could all encourage each other :)

[KathleenB]

Awesome post! I'm with you...hands high....my goal is to run my first 5K in November! I had walked our Turkey Trot in 2010, walked & ran (just a bit this year) of the 5K, BUT want to run the whole thing last year. That was supposed to be my goal this past Thanksgiving, but excuses got in the way. This November...I AM GOING TO RUN THAT 5K! Or maybe, just maybe, I will be ready before then and find another local one to run!

[Shannon Brouwer]

I'm in!!!! I'm gong to do 2 halfs this year and run over 1,000 miles ( not counting my walking on this one)

[Carolyn Cease]

Hey Karen! I have never been a runner, but I know the power and freedom exercise can give you. Exercise has been a catharsis for me, since I was very young. In the 1980's I started Jazzercising, as ballet, tap, jazz, and contemporary dance had been a part of my life since I was about 4 years old. Running on pavement was not an option for me, because my knees were somewhat fragile from the years of dance, but Jazzercising I can do! I have Jazzercised on and off since I took my first class in the 80's. I just recently returned, and thank our good Lord, I have been able to go 4 times a week. My goal for 2012 is to go to Jazzercise at least 150 times this year so I can earn my special Jazzercise Club Member T-shirt. In other words, Karen, count me in!

[Tinka]

Yes, please, count me in! This will help keep me on track for the half marathon I'm planning to do in November! My goal for January is to make it to the gym at least 3x a week...starting tomorrow since I haven't set foot in there since Jan. 1st! Thanks for the additional motivation...I'm also doing CZ's Move More Eat Well class this year so it all ties together, including my OLW!