Insurance

Last week looked something like this:

On Monday night I spent the evening with Cole and Courtney. We grabbed coffee, listened to a great podcast from Andy Stanley and went out for Mexican food. They haven't been getting along very well so once we sat down, I said, "I want you guys to think for a few minutes about the things you like about one another and then I want you to share them." Cole sunk down in his chair, sighed loudly and said, "It's going to take a long time for me to think of something I like about her." Courtney perked up in her chair, looked Cole directly in the eyes and and immediately said, "I love it when you stick up for me at school when someone is picking on me - it makes me feel really good." Upon hearing that, Coley sat up in his chair with a slightly embarrassed smile on his face and said, "I love that anytime I'm bored, you can always think of something really fun and creative for us to do." And much to my surprise, they continued on, just like that, for the rest of dinner.

On Tuesday night, I went to Bible Study and Josh stayed home with the kids.

On Wednesday, Josh came home from work to find me cooking spaghetti, all in a tizzy over some Ross-related stuff. 30 minutes later, we were in a quiet argument over the same Ross-related stuff so I left him to finish cooking dinner on his own and headed to my mom's house to talk to her about the same Ross-related stuff. Then I waited in the parking lot of Ross's work until his shift got over at 8:00 p.m. so he and I could hash out all the Ross-related stuff.

On Thursday, Courtney Lee stayed home with me because she had woken up in the middle of the night puking. She was fine by morning but I kept her home with me anyhow and in between work, she and I had a really great talk. That evening, we took the kids to dinner and dropped Courtney off at her Grandma Jo's (because they were heading out of town together for the weekend.) That evening, Josh and I sat on the couch and took the time to work through all the Ross-related stuff we had argued about the night before. Unfortunately, we tried to tackle another hard topic after that (since we had so successfully dealt with the first one) but that one didn't end as well.

On Friday, my mom asked if she could take Cole and Annie for the night. Withing minutes of discovering we were going to be kid-less for the evening, I called Josh Downs to see if he wanted to go to dinner. A few hours later, he emailed, saying that I needed to pack an overnight bag and by 5:00 p.m., we were on the road, driving just 15 miles away from home to have dinner and stay the night in Ashland (at the Columbia Hotel which is an adorable, old hotel where you can get a cheap, clean room if you're willing to forgo your own restroom.) We ended up all over the place, eating appetizers and having drinks at various restaurants and bars, having long conversations with store owners, bartenders and hotel managers/aspiring artists. Mostly though, we just talked to each other; small-talk, deep conversations and everything in between.

I wish I could say it was an abnormal week but it wasn't. Josh and I disagreed more than we normally do but quite honestly, our everyday lives are typically filled with ups & downs just like this.

The problem with 'everyday life' though is that it can quietly unravel relationships until they bare little resemblance to what they once were, giving little hope for what they could be in the future.

And I just happen to think that insurance is the only thing that prevents that insidious unraveling...

Monday night with Cole & Courtney=insurance.

Tuesday night studying God's word=insurance.

Wednesday night hashing out hard stuff with Ross=insurance.

Thursday talking with Courtney and Thursday night talking with Josh=insurance.

Friday night in Ashland with Josh=insurance + fun.

Comments

[kate]

i might just print the word INSURANCE and tape it to my mirror this month for thought. thanks karen for keeping it real always

[Helen Walsh]

Karen, I just love your honesty to everything. Makes me feel real and that life/relationships/family are like this. Thanks for sharing.

[t@emmons-blessings]

Praying for you, as always. I'm feelin it just as much, so please know that someone is walking in your shoes as well. And never lose sight when there is only one set of footprints that you can see. XOXO

be blessed

t

[Kelli]

I loved your Monday night, brought tears to my eyes.
I hope your downs decrease and the ups increase!

[mandy friend]

Karen, I LOVE this post! thanks:)

[Traci Shanks]

Great post - you are right. Life comes in waves, and sometimes we need to do more than know we'll have to tread water. Sometimes we need to wear our floaties :-)

Hope life gets better for you, and for Ross. I have trod much the same road you have, and know how challenging that can be. Hugs and prayers to all of you.

[kat-in-texas]

Great post--and so true all dat!

I've only heard Andy Stanley speak once on tv and he was really awesome. I'm gonna have to check into his podcasts. LOVE his dad, Charles...LOVE, LOVE, LOVE!

[Lauren]

gosh you always say the most true words. and you are always so real and authentic about it. so many of us out there have the same ups and downs as you do... but not many people are willing to be so open and share them like you do. so thank you for reminding us all that our "everyday lives" are never ever perfect, but that they do provide us with insurance. you could not have said it better. sweet picture of the 2 of you!

[AnnieM]

Karen,
You have a gift. A gift of writing from the heart...which is why you are such an accomplished artist too..you see things from a perspective that few people are willing or able to go.
Thank you. I only wish I had your blog to help me when my kids were little and I was having a bad day/week/month.
Annie

[Vera]

Great post! I like to think of these actions as preventive maintenance, kind of like an oil change prevents my car from breaking down. (hopefully!) I have insurance in case of an accident! : )

[Jennifer Coffey]

Karen
I love your blog I admire how real and raw you are,just had to say I attend Andy Stanleys church her in Atlanta he and Jeff Henderson just finished an awesome series titled LIFE APPS. Gotta get those it was good stuff!!!! food for thought my maiden name Russell!

[scrappinseminole]

I love this post and I have loved seeing the evolution of your posts over the past 5 years. I started reading because I loved your scrapbooking, kept reading because I love your photography and your family stories and I keep reading because I love your honesty and the way you show how you deal with the raw-ness of real life, without sugar-coating or taking the negative/complainer road, either. It is awesome to see how God is working in your life. You are blessed!

[Lynda P]

All that u said probably happens in homes everywhere, but u were so sweet to share. I think I'm going to make my kids say something nice to each other. Glad to hear your week ended with some fun. I was just wondering- when u take those pics, u just post ur camera somewhere & do it with a timer?
Thnx for sharing!

[Rhonda P litlfrogy]

I know you won't feel like this BUT, your words really inspire me. Just reading this makes me want to be a better person. Thank you, Karen.

[teresa b]

heartfelt thanks.. very touching

[kathy b]

Thanks for your honesty. It is very godly to share our struggles with each other. I love Andy Stanley, well love his sermons. We are doing a DVD series of his, Life Rules, in our small group. I listened to him last night and I am being convicted of some behavior habits I've overlooked for years. God bless you Karen

[Val from Down Under]

Awesome stuff Karen, you understand that communication is everything in relationships. It's so important to keep God the closest of all. You go girl, hugs to you xxx

[tanyawebster]

you are an amazing mom.
you are an amazing wife.
you are an amazing friend.
this is why i love you.

[Lisa V.]

You know, we're going through the same growing pains with our 20 year old daughter. Dealing with the independence of your firstborn child seems to be really difficult. I'm finding this out from a couple of friends that have either already dealt with it or are going through it too.
It can test a marriage - this I know. My hubby and I can have very differing views and ways of handling the stress and challenges that keep getting thrown our way with this. It has united us, but also divided us. It's a growing spurt. I keep reminding myself that I will be spending my life with my husband. My daughter will always be my daughter and I love her to death, but she's got to learn from her mistakes, find out for herself what I had to find out for myself. We'll survive - she may have some bumps and bruises, but she'll survive too. It's just another part of life, new to all of us.

Seeing you holding Josh Down's hand after a rough week and seeing the smiles on your faces says it all. Your love will survive and Ross will always know the two of you are there for him when he's ready. Hang in there!

[IslandJen]

"The problem with 'everyday life' though is that it can quietly unravel relationships until they bare little resemblance to what they once were, giving little hope for what they could be in the future." - could not be more true...

[Tina]

Thanks for Sharing! I have my own 19 year old (a daughter), and we too are dealing with her growing up and away from us. That which does not kill us makes us stronger. We will make it through this, and so will the kids! Hang in there!

[ShellyJ]

you are so wonderful. i love that you are so honest. :) thank you.

[Patricia]

This jumped out at me:
"The problem with 'everyday life' though is that it can quietly unravel relationships until they bare little resemblance to what they once were, giving little hope for what they could be in the future." Someone else has already commented on it a few responses above me, and I just have to give an AMEN!
Even though the past week for me was very different from yours, there were alot of the same issues swirling around. Thankyou for sharing what you did. You made me cry...but that's a good thing. I think sometimes we can think that everyone else has these perfect lives and we're the only ones with issues. I needed to read what you wrote. Sending many hugs your way and prayers for brighter days ahead! :-)

[Jill E.]

thank you for this post. i needed this so bad this week. you've given me a huge piece of clarity and now i now what i have to do today.

jill in mn

[Heidi]

Everytime I come to your blog (recently) it's been a lovely and wise dose of therapy it seems :) followed by a healthy dose of tears. Thanks. Insurance indeed. Heidi