I've been awaiting Spring more impatiently than I ever have before and I got little peek of it yesterday with an unusually warm, sunny day that made me realize it's just around the corner.
And it may be raining right now, but it's coming, I just know it is.
I've got a bazillion photos from Spring Break to post but my work schedule is so chaotic right now that I can't get to them. I've been putting in an obscene number of hours for months now (perhaps years now) but I've been working towards the goal of a much slower work schedule. One that is more friendly to my family and myself.
I signed some sort of unconscious agreement years back that the number of hours I worked and my professional success (whether it be as a dental hygienist, a designer or a photography instructor) was a direct reflection of my self-worth.
That lie chose to reveal itself pretty slowly but ever since it did, I've been working to replace it with something that is true. Something that is real. Slowing down my work schedule, setting realistic goals, saying 'yes' to growing my business better but 'no' to growing my business bigger.
Unfortunately, I've been working towards this goal for so long that I've begun to distrust whether or not it will ever happen. I've begun to distrust myself when I say, 'It's only for a little while longer." So I hesitate to even say this but I'm almost there. I'm just months away from it.
It's coming, I just know it is.
We were hit with some more hard news recently and it looks like there is more on the way. If I weren't so sad about it, I might actually laugh because it's almost comical how many hard things we've been hit with in the last 10 months or so.
Lots of decisions to make, lots of things to sort out, lots of things to work through and a lot of things that are out of our control.
But despite it all, life is good and God is good and although he's got my family in a constant state of construction right now, we sometimes gain enough clarity to see his work, to see his craftsmanship, to see his blue-prints. And though the final result may not seem beautiful to just anyone who passes by, I know that it's going to seem beautiful to the six of us that are living in it.
It's coming, I just know it is.
And the end to my Debbie-Downer, infrequent blogging...
It's coming too, I just know it is.
I hear you. We have been hit with blow after blow the last 15 months. It's hard. You need to read the book, One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voscamp. It will help you tremendously. God bless.
Posted by: Wendy | March 29, 2011 at 06:13 PM
Prayers and thoughts are with you, Karen! All will be well and just the way it's supposed to be...keep truding on with faith, hopeful hearts and loving support of family and friends. Miss you regular posts, but totally understand!
Hugs!
Posted by: Julie McD | March 29, 2011 at 06:19 PM
Karen--
Life is just tough sometimes, for seasons that just don't seem to end. I don't know what's going on in your life, but I know of a book you need to read. It's a Christian book written by Priscilla Shirer (one of my favorite Bible study teachers) and the book is called Life Interrupted. It chronicles the life and decisions of Jonah in a modern and understandable way. She writes about how we can be going along in our life, doing things we think are in God's plan, and BAM there's an interruption, or is it divine intervention?
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_3_33?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=life+interrupted+priscilla+shirer&x=0&y=0&sprefix=life+interrupted+priscilla+shirer
I highly recommend it! In fact, I'm giving one away tomorrow on my blog...that's how good I think it is!
Posted by: Angela | March 29, 2011 at 06:57 PM
i am a constant stalker of your beautiful blog. i just want you to know that i think you and your family and your talents are all so beautiful and i love that i get to catch a little glimpse into your life through your blog. thanks for sharing your witness that God is in control. i too strongly believe that.
Posted by: kyrsten g | March 29, 2011 at 07:16 PM
Karen, I just love you. You are so real and you have an incredible way of putting into words what many of us feel but can't find the right words to explain. As I read this post I realized that you are probably the most courageous woman I know, and I don't even know you personally,other than your blog and your class (I was an auditing student). Keep your chin up, and your eyes heavenward. You know when God told Abraham to "Go to a land I will show you" He didn't give him all the details along the way, Abraham had to trust. He certainly is trustworthy. I hope you can find some comfort in these days that are uncertain and sad for you.
Posted by: Patti Johnson | March 29, 2011 at 07:20 PM
It IS coming. I too know it is. And with a knock-it-outta-the-park gorgeous photo like you shared with us today, IT is coming sooner than we can realize. Karen, you are so honest and open with all of us. Hope you can feel the arms hugging you and the prayers praying with you. Hang in there!
Posted by: Sabrina | March 29, 2011 at 07:22 PM
As one of the pastors at my church said in a message once... "Instead of saying, 'God never gives you more than you can handle', which is true.... You could think of it like this: God never gives you more than HE can handle." In other words, take everything to him in prayer. He's already got the plan laid out. Sometimes he lets us in on it, other times, he doesn't. But his answer is always what's best for us.
Looking forward to taking your class in a few weeks! I just love your work - so natural and relaxed, and colorful photos.
Posted by: Rachel Z | March 29, 2011 at 08:09 PM
Sending lots of good thoughts your way Karen. Big "virtual" hug to you and yours!
Posted by: Wendy | March 29, 2011 at 08:21 PM
Well theres one thing were sure of (well maybe a few things) God is faithful, reliable, trustworthy and right on time. When we stand strong in our faith,unmoveable,unwavering, trusting him, waiting on him, it makes us stronger and it gives him the key to act and move on our behalf. Not much longer Karen those crooked paths will be straight <3
Posted by: Jamia | March 29, 2011 at 08:30 PM
You go girl! Always keep your eyes focused on God "For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11 God is good.
Posted by: Young Nanny | March 29, 2011 at 08:50 PM
Your post today just hit the spot. So tired of the rain here in Sherwood, Oregon. But your reminder of the hope of Spring and of God's promises was perfect. I loved your words about seeing "His blue-prints". And sometimes you have to step back or get past the situations to see the Master's hand, but there it is. Thank you.
Posted by: Amy | March 29, 2011 at 09:21 PM
Absolutely believing with you that IT IS COMING, and soon! Even when we can't see it, He can! Sometimes it's just hard to remember that His vision is perfect and ours isn't, and I speak that from some hard experience. Glad to see your post today.
Posted by: Sarah K | March 29, 2011 at 09:35 PM
Sorry to hear that you and your family are going through some rough times right now. Take care!
Posted by: Dina | March 29, 2011 at 11:23 PM
Karin glad to see you back on board even if it was for only ONE AMAZING PHOTO>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> STUNNING GIRL!!! oh yeh Annie is cute too. I hear you on the bad news stuff, sometimes yesterday that was bad looks even better today which is worse. Control the things you can control and work on those, everything is out in the universe and out of our control. I like your motto on making your business better not bigger. I would love to jump back on your course in 2012 again this year I'm going through all those "uncontrolable things". Remember you are only human like the rest of us with a very special talent for capturing the life of your family....what a gift that is. Love to you and your family. Regards Kathy A (Brisbane, Australia) xxxxx and hugs ooooooo
Posted by: Kathy | March 30, 2011 at 12:30 AM
Well I hope you get it because we just got predicted with 6-12 inches of snow for Friday! I'm coming to visit you! :)
Posted by: Pam | March 30, 2011 at 01:46 AM
When you get to the end of your rope ~ tie a knot and hang on. ;)
Posted by: Jennifer | March 30, 2011 at 04:48 AM
I'm a long time lurker. Sorry you and your family are going through a rough time.
Here is a wonderful quote I came across on Etsy
http://www.etsy.com/listing/71075097/falling-into-place-typography-wall-art
Take care! Weslea
Posted by: WesleaV | March 30, 2011 at 04:59 AM
Just remember.....your a strong family and God doesnt give more than you can handle....so you should be happy (although I am sure not right now) that you have such awesome support in your family! Take care and be safe!
Posted by: Erin H. | March 30, 2011 at 05:27 AM
I'm so sorry that you're having a difficult time right now. I hope things are soon looking better!
Posted by: Stephanie @ La Dolce Vita | March 30, 2011 at 05:33 AM
Karen,
My family has gone through some real financial struggles this past few months & I can see relief coming...it is coming. Things are falling into place & God is good. He carried us through every step of the struggle. He will for you & your family as well. I will keep you in my thoughts & prayers!! "Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest."
Posted by: Wendy | March 30, 2011 at 05:59 AM
I know so many people who have been handed some pretty heavy (and devastating news) recently. Seems like there are so many to worry about lately, I wonder when the news will stop coming. When the suffering will cease. It's overwhelming. I'm sorry that you've been handed more news and have more things to sort out. I care about you so much and I hate to know that you are struggling with decisions right now! I do love so much the way you put everything into perspective. It even helps me to find clarity here in my life. I will most definitively keep you and your family in my many thoughts and prayers, Karen. You WILL persevere.. you always do :)
Posted by: Tammy Mellish | March 30, 2011 at 06:11 AM
((HUG)) to you and your family. Sending prayers your way for strength to help you move through your difficulties...peace and blessings...
Posted by: cindy b. | March 30, 2011 at 07:54 AM
I hope the news has nothing to do with anyone's health! But if it does, I hope everything works out, either way, I hope that.
I can't wait for spring, even though I know it's not the answer to everything, some nice weather might help.
Posted by: Kelli | March 30, 2011 at 08:23 AM
Karen, I have been a stalker for, I think, a couple of years now. My husband finds it amusing and disturbing at the same time. I on the other hand am inspired by your committment to your family, faith, photography, and blog. This post of yours is refreshing. Sometimes our life's journey is not all sunshine and butterflies, but it is the harder portions of our journey that make the sunshine and butterflies part that much more enjoyable. God's plan is sometimes mysterious, but it is always a good one. I too feel that quite a few things "are coming" soon. I wish you and your family the best.
Posted by: Sharon-reynolds.blogspot.com | March 30, 2011 at 10:08 AM
Karen, the picture I see:
Not only are your photographs beautiful because you "shoot from your heart" but your life is beautiful because you "live from your heart". The little glimpse of that which has been shown to those of us following your blog and also who have taken your class. It isn't the hours.... It is YOU, you are amazing, what is in your heart has so blessed my life and many others!
So I pray you can let go of those hours, charge more for your classes (they are so worth it!), cut back the class size... something, but above all rest easy, you are a gift to anyone who has been blessed to be touched by your life, your heart...
Thank you Karen!!!!!
Posted by: Nancy | March 30, 2011 at 10:44 AM