I've been awaiting Spring more impatiently than I ever have before and I got little peek of it yesterday with an unusually warm, sunny day that made me realize it's just around the corner.
And it may be raining right now, but it's coming, I just know it is.
I've got a bazillion photos from Spring Break to post but my work schedule is so chaotic right now that I can't get to them. I've been putting in an obscene number of hours for months now (perhaps years now) but I've been working towards the goal of a much slower work schedule. One that is more friendly to my family and myself.
I signed some sort of unconscious agreement years back that the number of hours I worked and my professional success (whether it be as a dental hygienist, a designer or a photography instructor) was a direct reflection of my self-worth.
That lie chose to reveal itself pretty slowly but ever since it did, I've been working to replace it with something that is true. Something that is real. Slowing down my work schedule, setting realistic goals, saying 'yes' to growing my business better but 'no' to growing my business bigger.
Unfortunately, I've been working towards this goal for so long that I've begun to distrust whether or not it will ever happen. I've begun to distrust myself when I say, 'It's only for a little while longer." So I hesitate to even say this but I'm almost there. I'm just months away from it.
It's coming, I just know it is.
We were hit with some more hard news recently and it looks like there is more on the way. If I weren't so sad about it, I might actually laugh because it's almost comical how many hard things we've been hit with in the last 10 months or so.
Lots of decisions to make, lots of things to sort out, lots of things to work through and a lot of things that are out of our control.
But despite it all, life is good and God is good and although he's got my family in a constant state of construction right now, we sometimes gain enough clarity to see his work, to see his craftsmanship, to see his blue-prints. And though the final result may not seem beautiful to just anyone who passes by, I know that it's going to seem beautiful to the six of us that are living in it.
It's coming, I just know it is.
And the end to my Debbie-Downer, infrequent blogging...
It's coming too, I just know it is.
Karen, sorry you are having a hard time, I think of you and your lovely family often. I hope things start to get better for you very soon! Gorgeous image of Annie today!
Posted by: Jack | March 29, 2011 at 11:24 AM
Sorry things are rough right now. Here's hoping you find the end of the hard, the end of the too busy, and Spring. It is coming.
Posted by: Corri C | March 29, 2011 at 11:30 AM
I sat and read your blog from start to today last week, I was stuck in bed SICK! I cried and I laughed. Your kids are amazing, you are amazing and that darling husband of yours is amazing. Your love story is beautiful and amazing! I laughed when I read about McCloud (we stopped there for gas last fall on our way to Reno) and I cried when I read about all your struggles and sweet Annie's birth. Life has some serious suck potential, but I always try and look for the bright side or keep my eye on the prize that will come. Things WILL get better. Keep the posts coming I look forward to them! And I too someday will take your photography course!
Posted by: Sara Green-Anderson | March 29, 2011 at 11:38 AM
Hoping each day is brighter and that each day gets better...
Posted by: teresa b | March 29, 2011 at 11:39 AM
Hi Karen.
I know. I know. I feel it too!!! Doesn't matter if I'm in GP or Medford, bring on SPRING already...FOR REAL!!!
We can go to lunch sometime or "treasure" hunting, if you wanna. I'm at the Studio in Medford most weekdays... Don't scrapbook much anymore, since Kay moved, but still hanging around and playing with Janice....
Tina
Posted by: Tina Schiefer | March 29, 2011 at 11:55 AM
i love you.
Posted by: tanyawebster | March 29, 2011 at 12:28 PM
karen, we've been hit with hard stuff to recently, praying it works out well for you all, (as we know it does for those who love the Lord). Let me know if I can do anything, need prayer, babysitter, coffee or church out with me:) whatever! keep us posted!
Posted by: mandy friend | March 29, 2011 at 12:44 PM
It's coming... I know it is... Most of the time our timetable isn't His. On a different note, I have loved your pictures forever, but you keep getting better! Today's picture is the picture of spring! I hope something extra happy happens today!
Posted by: Gina f. | March 29, 2011 at 01:21 PM
We were just in your neck of the woods, trust me, spring is much closer for you than it is for us up here in Seattle! Waiting on God is one of my big weaknesses, but I know that I must. We too are in a limbo sort of mode, just waiting on God!
Posted by: Kimberly | March 29, 2011 at 01:45 PM
Thank you for this post, Karen. When I look at your photos, I imagine your life being so perfect that I was surprised to read that you're hitting on hard news recently. It made me realize that you're no different from any of us (been praying for God to make it all better too). Praying for you as well. It's just that your photos are too perfect that who would've thought, looking at them, that you're also in the midst of trials. Great big hugs to you!
Posted by: Mickee | March 29, 2011 at 01:58 PM
You are awesome Karen. I love how God draws us closer to him when we are in circumstances that we don't like or can't control. When we focus on Him and not the situation in front of us we can have peace. I will always be grateful to you for understanding my situation a couple of years ago when I was supposed to take your class. Thank you for being so honest (and taking such awesome pictures).
Posted by: payton | March 29, 2011 at 02:04 PM
Oh, sweetie! I'm so sorry to hear you've got more hard times. I have great faith that you'll handle things with all your usual grace.
Posted by: Sharon Cooke | March 29, 2011 at 02:12 PM
I'm not much of a commentor --- more of a stocker....but, I felt the need to leave you a quick note today. Your honesty and willingness to share all of your life with your followers is amazing. I'm am continually blessed by your posts and have never considered you a Debbie Downer. God is good, and there will always be a rainbow at the end of the storm --- it's HIS promise. Hang in there.
Posted by: Kim Holmes | March 29, 2011 at 02:16 PM
Sorry to hear about the hard times that you are going through. We all love you here and are praying for you.
Posted by: Melanie | March 29, 2011 at 02:16 PM
Karen, I'm sorry that things are so tough right now. This is an adorable picture of Annie. Thinking of you and hoping things get better soon.
Posted by: Melanie | March 29, 2011 at 02:56 PM
I'm sorry things are so tough right now... know that there are lots of people around the country and world thinking of you and praying that things get better!
Posted by: AVinNYC | March 29, 2011 at 03:05 PM
I can totally relate...a very hard past 10 months ( actually 4 years when counting everything), wanting spring so badly ( woke up to 17 degree weather this morning..YUCK) and trying to figure out what God wants me to do with my life!! Life gets confusing, overwhelming and sad at times. Hang in there and know it's not just you and your family going through hard times. I think we need the storms in our lives not only to see the sunshine but to learn how to DANCE in the rain. You're in my prayers my friend!! It's coming, I just know it is!!!! :) Keep the faith!
Posted by: Tracy | March 29, 2011 at 03:07 PM
Hang in there, Nellie. Just saw this today...one of my favorite preachers on tv, Dr. Charles Stanley.
Time has no effect upon God nor upon how He makes His plans and decisions. Nothing that happens in our lives will ever surprise Him or interrupt what He is achieving for us. This is why we can always count on Him being true to all of the promises He's made to us.
Posted by: kat-in-texas | March 29, 2011 at 03:24 PM
My mom always assured me that "everything in its own time"...trust and hang one. There are lots of friends walking beside you. Hugs!
Posted by: janel | March 29, 2011 at 03:26 PM
hope you find comfort in knowing how just dropping in to read how things are, having an opportunity to view beautiful photos, and reading true feelings, bring so much happiness and peace to others when they too just need to escape. Keep your chin up and know how many people in blog land are cheering you on!
Posted by: lori | March 29, 2011 at 03:36 PM
I so love your blog, mostly for your honesty.
Take care.
Ang
Posted by: Ang | March 29, 2011 at 03:52 PM
So know what you mean about spring. Going to church Sunday over the Siskiyous,I was grumbling about having the icy, snowy weather still! But as in all things God is in control and wants us to look to Him for strength!
Posted by: Carrie P | March 29, 2011 at 04:20 PM
I am sorry that life is so very hard right now. I hope that the coming spring finds the load you're carrying lighter and easier to bear. If it gives you any comfort, your blogging (whatever the frequency) and pictures always touch some part of me in a good way. Thank you for sharing life and it's ups and downs...and those really cute kids of yours too!
Posted by: MichelleGB | March 29, 2011 at 04:41 PM
I hope you and your lovely family will always be in good health, that's what matter the most I think. Good luck
Posted by: May | March 29, 2011 at 04:41 PM
Thinking of you and your family today and just wanted to say that all of us will be here, waiting for you whenever you have the time to come and 'see' us on your beautiful, heartfelt (and heart-wrenching sometimes) blog. We understand that life can get in the way, and always, always, something has to give. It's Ok if it's blog posting.
Hugs...
Posted by: AnnieM | March 29, 2011 at 04:53 PM