I'm no good at making friends.
I'm just kind of awkward and anytime I have a conversation with someone I don't know very well, I walk away convinced that they think I'm a complete moron. I'm not shy. I'm just socially inept. (And I blame it all on high school.) When I use photography or scrapbooking as a conversational crutch, I don't sound like a moron but once I venture into small-talk...it all goes downhill.
And for the most part, I'm ok with that. I've had the same best friend (Jill) since grade school, another best friend (Dawn) since college and an amazing sister (Leigh Ann.)
And quite honestly, those three girls could fill the shoes of 100 friends.
And they don't think I'm a moron. (Even when I act like one.)
I made a new friend (Tanya) a few years back though and regardless of how many times I've sounded like a moron...she seemed to like me anyhow.
So the friendship just kind of stuck.
And we don't talk or see each other all that often but anytime we do, it feels like we just pick up where we left off and I like that.
So Friday, she drove five hours to come see me.
As soon as she got here, I showed her around the new, old house (because she hadn't seen it before) and then I took her to dinner at Porters where we both had two mojitos and laughed about horribly inappropriate things until almost midnight. We talked over coffee/tea at Mellelo's the next morning and then we decided to grab our laptops/camera gear and headed to Jacksonville to shoot and edit over mud pie at Bella Union. And then we went back to my house to edit and talk some more. We ate peanut butter M&M's, designed a new logo for her business and took the kids out to Mexican food at 10 o'clock at night (which isn't so easy on the stomach when you're almost 40.)
And when I tried to go to sleep that night, I just laid there, wide-awake with ideas for her new website swirling around in my head. (And when I get an idea in my head like that, I might as well get up and work on it because my brain won't let me rest otherwise.)
And Tanya has the same kind of brain so it didn't bother her at all when I made her get out of bed to come work on it with me.
And then she headed home the next morning after helping me curl my hair and pack up all the kids (since we were heading to Klamath.)
And as soon as she left, I missed her (which must mean that I finally let down my guard enough to let her be a friend.)
And a few shots I took of her in Jacksonville...
And, after a bit of resistance on my part and a bit of persistence on hers...I let her shoot me too. (Will post those tomorrow.)
Thanks for everything Tanya Webster.
I am the same way Karen. I have the hardest time meeting new people. I always feel whatever I say they are thinking this chick is crazy. lol But the friends I do have are friends for life.
I love those pictures. My fav are the last ones. I'm sure you had a blast!!!
Posted by: Carrie T | June 30, 2010 at 09:02 AM
Well, I only got to talk to you for a few minutes, Karen Russell, and I don't think you're a moron! But I can totally understand where you are coming from. When I'm around business people I tend to listen more and talk less because I'm always afraid I'll say something stupid. I'm smart but I can be dumb or ignorant, too:) But when I'm around people that I get a "feeling" about right from the start, I just talk. And if they reciprocate then I know we're good. When people hold back then I tend to be more conscious of what I say to them. Glad you found another friend you can be free with:)
Posted by: Patty Hetrick | June 30, 2010 at 09:11 AM
I've seen her name on your comments for years! Now I can put a face with the name! Sounds like you had a great time! You took some great pictures of her!
Posted by: Addie | June 30, 2010 at 09:32 AM
Glimpsing on your life through your blog (and a class here or there), and having had Tanya shoot my family it's so fun to hear about your adventures! Two of my fav photogs creating together - oh my goodness!! Sounds like a wonderful time, can't wait to see the results. Thanks (as always) for sharing.
Posted by: Elizabeth | June 30, 2010 at 09:40 AM
I know the feeling, Karen. A few close friends are just about the perfect number... and those that you can pic right up with again later.
:) can't wait to see your pics! :)
Posted by: anne | June 30, 2010 at 09:51 AM
I'm the same way! I worry that when I comment, like I'm doing here, I will sound like a complete moron. I don't think you sound like a moron at all. I think you sound very intelligent! But then if you are talking cameras and scrapbooking, I'm all over that!
Love the idea of shooting someone while they are holding their camera like that!
Posted by: Kelli | June 30, 2010 at 10:08 AM
I too worry about meeting new people or even family I don't see often because once people find out I'm a stay at home mom they don't try to see me for more than just a mom even tho I have hobbies and a BS in Elementary Ed and I am one of those forever friends. I'm lucky enough to have two sisters and 4 close friends. So glad I'm not the only one who gets all nervous. As always, thanks for keeping it real on the blog :)
Posted by: Shannon Laux | June 30, 2010 at 12:13 PM
love those silly shots!
Posted by: {vicki} | June 30, 2010 at 12:41 PM
Well if that doesn't get me excited about meeting her in TWO WEEKS nothing will. Wish you were coming too! =) Thanks for the intro!
Posted by: erin cobb | June 30, 2010 at 01:24 PM
I cannot imagine that you ever feel this way, as when I met you at CKU, it was totally the opposite. I felt like you were an instant friend that was sincere, genuine, and true blue. Lucky Tanya, Lucky you....what a wonderful bond and I just love that no matter how old one is...new friendships can blossom and flourish. I will be excited for you to share her new website. She is darling---just like you!
Posted by: janel | June 30, 2010 at 02:23 PM
I can't wait to see the photos of you. You are adorable and you are never in them since you are behind the camera.
It's so nice to have a friend like that. I just flew to my friends and visited her for a week and it was lovely. Glad you had a good time.
Posted by: Melanie | June 30, 2010 at 03:38 PM
I'm a shy extrovert (yes there is such a thing) so I can understand the socially awkward/I feel geeky thing very well. And Tanya Webster (besides having a great first name..*grin*) is lovely and those shots you took of her are fabulous as always! Looking forward to seeing her photos of you! :) Thanks again for this blog! I enjoy your photos and your "voice" so much! :)
Posted by: Tanya Anguita | June 30, 2010 at 03:48 PM
I consider you my cyber-ex-hygiene-Nellie friend! :P
That's the good thing about having great friends....you can be yourself (whatever you feel like being that day)....and they still like you....they have to....they're your friends!!! ha.
Great pics of Tanya (didn't she get your old camera and stuff?)
Posted by: kat-in-texas | June 30, 2010 at 03:49 PM
I like people, people like me, but friends? That takes a while, I have a wall built up, since I have burned badly, twice. So I understand, but really, having taken two classes from you, you are not really inept, or moronic. You are just you, and that is really a nice you to be! After all, we all love you, your kids, your talent, your wit, your family (extended family) and even your son's girlfriend and his old best friend (where is that boy?) So remember, even if you feel socially inadequate you touch peoples lives here everyday, in a very good way!
Posted by: Terri Barton | June 30, 2010 at 05:43 PM
It takes me forever to know that I have a "real" friend, so I can totally relate. But, I am so glad for you that you have such a nice friend and that ya'll have fun photographing and editing together~sounds great!!
Posted by: Lauren | June 30, 2010 at 08:07 PM
I have been coming to your blog for years, although I have never once commented. I love how down-to-earth that you are. Your life is real....what you see is what you get. There's no candy-coating anything. I like that. I appreciate that. And I could have taken your second paragraph and used it as a quote for myself. :) Thanks for keeping it honest and sharing your wonderful photographs with us.
Posted by: Jenny P | June 30, 2010 at 09:19 PM
I seriously love you Karen Russell....even though it took letting you take pictures of ME so i could take pictures of YOU ;)
I'm super lucky to have you as a friend....you are very good for my heart and soul and I absolutely had the very best time EVAH!!! I'm glad you let me into your heart too....
and I really do miss you as well.......I'm glad we are going to be seeing each other again soon....;)
Thank YOU for everything girl.....you are truly an amazing, amazing friend :)
Posted by: Tanyawebster | June 30, 2010 at 09:45 PM
Tanya you are adorable too !!!!
Posted by: laura | July 01, 2010 at 09:11 AM
you make me laugh! i know exactly what you mean! great photos! susan
Posted by: susan | July 01, 2010 at 02:28 PM
That is such a sweet and wonderful post! I love the pics too!
Posted by: Angela W | July 02, 2010 at 09:12 AM
Ya know.. meeting you both and the way you work together.. I would have thought you'd known each other FOREVER!! Sometimes when 2 friends get together it just works!! Beautiful pictures Tanya Webster!! Can NOT wait to see the new website!!
Posted by: teresa b | July 04, 2010 at 06:48 PM
I love how honest and raw you are on your blog. A lot of us can relate to you, including me. I totally get the social awkwardness. I feel that way too. Like when we went to a bbq this Friday. I didn't know most of the people there and I don't know how to make small talk either. A few good friends and family is really all you need.
Posted by: kathleenh | July 05, 2010 at 07:59 AM
Hey- we all know you are amazing, kind, friendly, helpful, and definitely NOT social inept. You've made a TON of friends in your classes and blog- we all know you're amazing and beautiful inside and out... it's time for you to know it too!
Oh- and you take great pics too :)
Posted by: jacki | July 07, 2010 at 01:22 PM
Wow, she really looks like Ali McGraw - I know that dates me, but she was gorgeous in the 1960s-70s. Lovely shots!
Posted by: ingrid | July 11, 2010 at 11:10 AM
I love Tanya Webster. I can see how the two of you would get along great. Just caught up - drank in all your stories and pics as usual. xoxo
Posted by: tara | July 22, 2010 at 07:03 PM