My life...just not on the road I expected (but it's still dang good).

Shooting with Erin Cobb (the season finale)

I post this picture of Erin only because:

- That's the canned grin she likes to throw your way when you point a camera at her.  (I don't know many photographers who like having a camera pointed at them)

- It reminds me of the German Chocolate cake we ate right after scarfing down a couple of calzones.  (I was trying to fatten her up while she was here because she's a skinny chick...and I am not.)

- We both started crying while eating our cake...which totally ruins a good cake.

- It reminds me that I should never tell a sad story while eating German Chocolate cake.

- It looks like she's sporting a halo.

And just a few thoughts/details/answers about my time with her...

- I like genuine, down-to-earth girls.  (And Erin is exactly that.)

- I miss Canon lenses.  (Again, I like my Nikon D700 camera body better than the Canon 5D Mark II I had been shooting with and am happy with that switch, but Nikon just doesn't have as good of a lens selection and it makes me sad.)

- You should have seen my husband's face when Erin told him I ordered all new Canon gear.  (If I wanted to switch back to Canon, I'd have to be willing to divorce my frugal husband who just about had a coronary when I switched to Nikon.)

- I am going to be better about setting custom White Balance settings and am going to rely less on my White Balance presets.

- I am going to try to think outside of my box more in regards to creative compositions.

- I am going to 'try' to shoot more vertical images.  (I love horizontal images and Erin loves vertical images.)

- I am pretty happy with my current technical abilities (after being able to confirm a few things with Erin) but am always going to be striving to learn more.

- I am not happy with my current editing abilities and am going to pour more time/energy into that.  (If only I loved my computer as much as I love my camera.)

- I'm still not ready to join Facebook or Twitter.  (Sorry Charlie.)

- Erin is really good with kids.  She sings songs with their name in it.  She plays games like 'Stop & Go' (similar to Red Light, Green Light) and 'Do what I do.'  She fake-sneezes and pretends that her pop-up gray card flew out of her nose.  She talks to them a lot.  She cracks funny jokes.  She's a natural with kids.

- I am not a natural with kids.  (I'm not sure if the four that I'm raising even like me.)

- I overshoot out of fear of missing a good shot and am going to try to shoot fewer frames.  (No sense trying to weed your way through 1600 images when you could have just taken 400 and still got the same thing.)

- I feel really excited about shooting right now.

- My kids won't quit pestering me to get an iPhone.  (I can't even figure out the stupid phone I've got...so I'm definitely not getting an iPhone.)

- I temporarily switched back to shooting JPEGs (from shooting RAW images.)  I figure that if my exposure and my white balance are usually correct, what's the point in shooting RAW images and taking up all that file space?  If I were shooting a wedding or something, I wouldn't risk it and would stick with RAW images.  But why shoot RAW images if I'm not seeing any benefit from it?  I'm still undecided but 30 days won't hurt anything so I'm going for it.

- All the images shot in my house were taken without flash.

- The blinds in my house are thin, white, roller shades with a scalloped border that we ordered at Lowe's.  (Did you know that Lowe's gives 10% off of EVERY purchase to military members?...I love Lowe's.)  I love them because their thin enough to let in light when they're closed and they don't get dirty because we got the kind that requires a chain to open/close them.

- My couch is NOT white.  (I have 4 kids!)  It's blue-ish green.

- Erin shot everything with a Canon 50mm f1.2 lens (about $1500) because that was the only lens she brought.  For her regular portrait shoots, she usually uses an Canon 85mm f1.2 and is even finding that she loves the Canon 135mm f2 which she had wanted to sell awhile back.  (The 85mm f1.8 is also a great lens and is much more affordable than the 85mm f1.2.)

- I shot everything with a Nikon 50mm f1.4G (about $450) because I wanted to shoot at the same focal length in order to best compare our images.  (And unfortunately, Nikon doesn't make a 50mm f1.2.)

- In optimal light, I think my lens performed as well as hers.  In lower light, I think her images were a little sharper than mine.  But the majority of the images I posted yesterday (which we taken in my house at nighttime) were taken with my $450 Nikon 50mm f1.4G lens, so YES, you can most definitely get those kinds of images in low light with a lens that doesn't cost $1500.

- When I shot Canon, I had the 50mm f1.2 and loved it.

- I LOVED getting to shoot with another photographer for two days and highly recommend it to anyone.  (Just find someone in your local area who loves photography like you do and go out on a couple of shoots together - I'm actually doing that with my friend Coral later today.

- Annie asked when Erin was coming back again this morning.

- So Erin, when are you coming back?  (We miss you.)

- And if you can't come back, can you at least send us your iPhone?

- That's all I can think of.  Hope I didn't miss anyone's questions.

- You can read Erin's post about our visit, here.

Shooting with Erin Cobb (Part II)

I purposely wanted to shoot in three different lighting situations with Erin just to see how she approached each scenario:

1. outdoors

2. indoors during the day

3. indoors at night

So these final shots were taken indoors at night.  We started at about 7pm so there was still a bit of light but it was completely dark outside by the time we quit shooting.

Someone suggested that I not disclose who shot which images (me or Erin) until the end of the post so I'll do that this time around...

My poor, technologically deprived children had never seen the wonder of an iPhone (and it was a good distraction while we shot.)

 

 

 

 

 

That's Erin's grey card.

 

She can set a custom white balance in record time.  Here's the pop-up grey card she uses.

 

Annie pleading for Erin to stay with us another day (or at the very least to leave her iPhone.)

Courtney Lee (who is obviously as enamored with Erin as I am.)

 

Again, I edited all of these using editing techniques Erin taught me. 

And insert singing angels here...she IS going to make a video tutorial.

I'll try to write up a summary of our time together to post tomorrow or early next week...but right now, I've got work calling my name.

Oh, and Erin's shots were the 5th from the top (Courtney sitting on the chair with the iPhone), 11th from the top (all the kids sitting on the couch - and my FAVORITE IMAGE of the night), 12th from the top (Annie and Lucky on the chair) and the last one of Courtney Lee.

Shooting with Erin Cobb (Part II)

Since she was only here for two days we tried to cram a whole lot into them.

Annie was our main subject since we could easily pull her out of preschool without her missing anything important.

So we picked her up and took her to Jacksonville to get in some shooting on Wednesday.

I think the least confusing way to do this is going to be to post Erin's images first and then to post mine afterwards.  (Keep in mind that I edited all of these, using techniques Erin taught me - but it's not something I've perfected yet so bare with me over the next few months as I fine tune all the new editing stuff I learned.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Erin owns several prime lenses (I think she's got a Canon 50mm f1.2, 85mm 1.2 and a 135mm f2) but she only brought her 50mm f1.2 to save luggage space on her flight so that's what she shot with.

I wanted to shoot with the same focal length so I shot with my Nikon 50mm f1.4 lens (which look like a toy lens when you compare it in size and weight to the Canon 50mm f1.2.)

For the most part, I just shot a little, trying to stay out of her way so she could just shoot and I could learn.  (But I did manage to get some shots I loved in the process.)

I edited these last week and am already cringing at some mistakes I made but I'm just going to post them anyhow...

 

 

 

 

Holy cow, that one's too light.

 

Annie suckered Erin into getting getting her something from the toy store.

Annie picked a kitty and named her 'Lucky'.

 

 

 

 

Ughhhh...that one's too light too.

 

And then we let Annie pick where she wanted to go to lunch.  (Mexican of course.)

And I know a lot of people are hoping to learn Erin's editing techniques.  Since I'm using HER techniques, I wouldn't feel comfortable sharing what she taught me (and as you can see, I'm still learning myself) but I've been pestering her for months now to create an editing tutorial and she emailed me this morning saying that she couldn't sleep last night thinking of ideas for it (so I'm guessing she's going to make a tutorial.)

And I have a feeling it will be amazing.

Will keep you posted.

Saturday Night.

Courtney Lee's friend, Hallie came over this weekend.  (Her brother, Hunter came over too but he & Coley stayed the night at my mom's.)

Josh & his brother went fishing Saturday night (Josh is BBQ'ing his fish right now.) so just us girls went to the park.

 

We stopped and picked up sandwiches for dinner.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I know...it's not perfect (but that's exactly what I love about it.)

 

 

And they played hard enough that they were ready to hit the sack by 9pm.

Hope your weekend was great.  (Will post more details about my time with Erin Cobb later this week - promise.)

Shooting with Erin Cobb (Part I)

Erin Cobb was here Tuesday & Wednesday.

Makes me happy when I meet someone I've only known online and find out that they're just as fabulous as I had imagined them being.

In fact, Erin was even more fabulous than I had imagined her being.

We picked up Annie from school a little early on Tuesday so we'd have someone to practice on.

 

That's Erin shooting.

 

She does things like shoot with pillows on her head just to get a laugh.

She and Annie became fast friends.

 

 

 

Erin took most of these and I edited them (using all the new, amazing editing  techniques she taught me.)

 

 

 

I didn't shoot a whole lot because I just wanted to watch Erin do her thing but I shot that one (above.)

 

And that one (above.)

And that one too (and of course, all the ones with Erin in them.)

 

 

That's me shooting.

 

She shot everything with a Canon 5D Mark II/50mm f1.2 and I shot everything with a Nikon D700/50mm f1.4.

I'll share more details about the trip (and lots more photos too) but right now...I just can't keep my eyes open.  Off to bed for me.

And Erin...you are amazing!

Erin Cobb.

Won't be around for the next couple of days because I'm going to be shooting with Erin Cobb (one of my favorite photographers in the whole-wide-world.)

I just checked her blog (I check it every day because I'm enamored with her.) and saw that she mentioned coming to visit me and very diplomatically said, "She (me!) asked me (Erin) to come out for a little bit of her own professional development."

"Professional development." 

That sounds so...professional of me.

Really though...I asked her to come out here because I want to pick her brain until she cries mercy.

I've never even met her. 

In fact, it was a student of mine who pointed me to Erin's blog a year or so back because she knew I would love her.

She's brilliantly-talented.

I've been shooting longer than her but she'd totally kick my butt in a shoot-off.  

She does stuff with natural light that I can't wrap my brain around. 

I'm not talking about creating amazing shots in amazing lighting because that's not what I need to know (although she does indeed create a lot of amazing shots in amazing lighting.)  I'm talking about creating amazing shots in mediocre to crappy lighting.  (Seriously, look here, here, here and here.)

That's why I need to pick her brain.

I feel all nervous.  Like I'm going on a 48 hour, blind date or something.

What am I going to wear?  What if she doesn't like me?  Should I wear mascara?  What if I say something stupid?  What if I can't think of anything to say?  What if she thinks my butt is big? 

Just joking about the butt thing.

My butt is unquestionably big right now.

And a photo...

 

Back in a few days.

The Beatitudes.

Courtney Lee tried-out and scored the leading role in her school's play, The Beatitudes.

Getting ready for it has been a BIG deal around here.

 

She was the Queen Bee.

And she was amazing.

I was so nervous I couldn't sleep last night.

And Josh was so nervous he was sweating before it started.

 

But she nailed it.

The whole thing was quite entertaining but I was fixed on Courtney Lee.

And so was Annie (who sat in the isle with me while I took pictures.)

 

I wish I could say I did her hair but I'm really lousy with hair (so someone from the school did it.)

 

And she looked lovely.

And as you can imagine, I was feeling crazy-proud.

Afterwards, she received a ton of 'contratulations' and some flowers from her Dad.

Congratulations Courtney Lee (I have a feeling this won't be the last time I see you on stage.)

Minute to Win It.

We watched Minute to Win It last night and ended up duplicating one of the challenges; to stack and unstack 36 cups in 60 seconds. 

We upped the ante to 45 cups though. 

Thank goodness we had a bunch of cups left over from playing beer pong last Christmas...

 

 

 

We each won 50,000.

She.

1. She was Student of the Week at her school last month (and she picked all those photos herself for the Student of the Week board.)

2. Right now she's singing, "I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in heart (where?) down in my heart (where?) down in my heart, I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy..."

3. When she sings her ABC's, she always leaves out T, U and V.

4. She orders spaghetti everywhere we go lately.

5. Pink is her favorite color.

6. She's been calling me 'Hot Mamma" (Which might have something to do with Josh Downs.)

7. She went on a field trip to Bobbio's Pizza today and Friday, she gets to go to the Grange Co-op to see their baby chicks.

8. Last night she came downstairs crying because she was afraid 'bad guys were going to shoot down her wall.'  We don't usually cave in on stuff like that but she was so pathetic that we let her fall asleep on the couch with Josh while he studied.

9. She'd eat strawberries morning, noon and night if we could keep them stocked.

10. She's sitting on the couch with her baby right now saying, "We have to go to the store because we forgot something for dinner."  and "You have to walk because I'm not going to carry you, but we can hold hands."

My Incentive Plan.

I was 19  (just a year younger than Ross is right now) and had just moved Ross and I into an apartment in Klamath Falls, Oregon so I could start my freshman year of college at OIT.

I had a hand-me-down couch, a few dishes, a tiny television set and a few decorations I had picked up from the dollar store.  (And my Aunt had just given me that crib you see in the background because I only had a playpen.)

I was receiving food stamps, WIC (free cheese & milk), Pell Grants and Student Loans.

And I didn't have the self-esteem to know that I could make it through college as a single-mom.

But I had him (Ross) and somehow, he felt like my little 'incentive plan'.

I did lots of things wrong (like assuming that cherry vanilla custard was just as healthy as strained peas simply because it had the Gerber logo on it) but I did lots of things right too (like loving on him endlessly.)

What I regret most though is that I kind of wished his childhood away.

I just kept hoping that he'd get to the 'next stage' more quickly - thinking that the next stage would be easier. 

Wishing I didn't have to be up, patting his back so many times through the night and falling asleep in class the next day as a result.  Wishing he'd learn how to feed himself so I could get a few minutes to wash the dishes.  Wishing he'd learn to entertain himself more so I could study without all the interruptions.

And I have a lot of regret in that.

Ross and I were lucky to have my family's support though.

My mom who would take him during finals week every term.  My sister and our college buddy, Dawn who would take him to class when I didn't have a babysitter and couldn't take him to class with me.  (My sister started at OIT the term after me.)  My dad who who slipped me a $20 bill anytime I stopped by his work.  My Aunt & Uncle who watched him when I had evening classes.  And my Grandma who was thrilled to have him a couple of times a month when I wanted to go out and whoop it up like a regular, college student.

I never felt like a regular college student though.

I felt like a kid with a kid.

I felt embarrassed to be a 19 year old, single-mom.

I felt like a walking, social-stigma.

But he was my incentive plan when I wanted to give up.  He was there to snuggle with when I was lonely.  He made me smile when I was in tears.  He gave me a reason to feel proud instead of ashamed.

And he was there with a Sunny Delight in one hand and his little Fisher Price camera in the other, taking pictures of me through the chain link fence the day I graduated.

And in a way, I have him to thank for making it through college.

He was my incentive plan.

I've never known what it feels like to be an adult without him.

And quite honestly, I'm kind of scared to find out what it feels like.

He's planning on going to OIT in the fall (the same college I went to) and we've been doing lots of things to get him ready.

I talked him into writing down some long-term and short-term goals and what steps he's going to take to achieve them.

Josh made him take a 'developing proper study habits for college' class online.

When I bought new pots & pans last year, I left a box full of our old pots & pans in his bedroom.  When he realized what they were for, he looked at me pathetically and said, "I can't believe your making plans for me to move out already."

And we've come up with a written agreement for the percentage of tuition we're willing to pay based on his GPA each term which is something he and I have talked about since he was little.  (He has to get a job to pay for his living expenses though.)

And he asked if I'd take him to Klamath Falls to help him check out apartments soon. 

I don't think either one of us feel 100% ready though.

Ross is (respectfully) trying to exert his independence and some days, it's enough to make me want him to go exert his independence in his own house.

And I am (respectfully) insisting that he continue abiding by my rules so long as he is in my home and some days, I think that's enough to make him want to have his own house where my rules do not exist.

The other day, he sad, "Mom, you've been teaching me this stuff my whole life, now you need to trust me enough to let me do it."

And he's right (although I'd like to think I still have plenty of valuable, life lessons to impart.)

I feel relieved that we've maintained as good of a relationship as we have these last few years though.

He hugs me in front of his friends.  He tells me I'm beautiful.  He texts me funny things we used to say when he was little.  He respects me.  He closes his mouth when he feels like he is about to disrespect me.  And he says that when he has kids one day, he's going to raise them just like I raised him.

And that feels like a huge pat on the back (even though I hope he doesn't raise his kids exactly the way I raised him.)

And anytime we're struggling, I just say, "Ross, hang in there with me for just a few more months.  Trust me enough to do it my way for just a little longer.  Help me keep this relationship intact." 

And he does.

And I'm thankful for that.

And I respect him for that.

I love you Ross.

Thanks for always being my incentive plan.

(And now I'm off to blow-dry my hair so I can take my 18 year old son out for his birthday dinner.)