Listen...

Someone asked a question here the other day that I think plagues most mom's who are trying to document their family's lives; "How much should I shoot and how much should I be involved in the moment?"

I have no P.H.D. on the matter, but here's my thoughts...

The photographer in me wants to shoot all the time and is always worried that I'm going to miss 'the-shot-of-all-shots' if I put my camera down.

The mom in me (the good mom that really is in there) knows that I have to put it down sometimes though, even when I don't want to.

So it's a seemingly easy solution for me...

I try to listen to my gut.

When my gut says that I should be shooting...I should be shooting.  And when my gut says I should be enjoying the moment with my family...I should be enjoying the moment with my family.

I've found that my gut is usually right about stuff like that so I try to listen.

Don't get me wrong; this isn't something I've mastered by any stretch of the imagination.

The problem with me is that balance has never been my thing.

I'm more of an 'all-or-nothing' kind of a girl.

So it's something I have to keep in check all the time.

Sometimes, we leave a family outing and I say to myself, "Sure would have been nice if you had enjoyed the moment a little bit more."

And that's my reality check for the next time.

And of course, when my three year old says "Will you blow bubbles with me?", my gut says it's time to put the camera down (even if I didn't get all the shots I wanted) and to blow bubbles.

 

I also use my camera as a crutch in social situations...but that's a totally different story.

Comments

[Dawn]

Ok, I just have to share after you mentioned you use your camera as a crutch in social situations - I do too. But my friend, who isn't much of a photographer, is known to always have a beverage (usually a can of Coke) in hand, and will often place it just in front of her mouth when things start to get awkward in social situations. So funny that we all have our own ways of dealing with/coping with things. =)

[eh]

I would love to use my camera as a social crutch but find that my circles find my camera annoying so I snap a few and put it away. Good post.

[Kelli]

My daughter's class was skating, I was taking pictures. She skated up and said "What me mom!" and I said I was, she said "Not through the camera with your eyes!" I knew I had enough skating pictures and put the camera down. The pictures were pretty bad too, poor lighting in the arena.

[Juli]

and then there are some of us who haven't picked up the camera enough and the situation is reversed!
excellent advice Karen. Thanks.

[Martha - EP]

love all your pictures! The colors are so wonderful. I'm guessing you used the mighty old exposure compensation for those backlighting pictures.

The kids look all grown up, and there is one of Annie that looks just like you! I can't believe you were in the pool! I'd be scared to death of dropping the camera. Although I had someone come by and splash water with a jet ski as I stood at the end of the dock taking pictures! I ran like a crazy woman down the dock! Good thing I didn't fall into the lake as I ran!

[tara pollard pakosta]

OH man, you sound alot like me. I am so an all or NOTHING person too. it's terrible sometimes! And I used to use my camera in social situations, now it embarrasses me more to do that than to just talk LOL!!
Oh well, we have LOTS of pics now right?!
tara

[Betsey Cline]

Sounds like your gut works pretty well! Love the picture of Annie! Priceless!!

[Cee]

This photo is literally the best one that you have posted on your blog.

You deserve a round of applause for this beauty.

Question - will you be offering any photography tips for taking pics of fireworks?

Thanks!

[janel]

Oh...Annie is darling, but I sure love the bokeh in this photo...wow!!
Happy 4th....I hear you about the shooting thing..my adult daughter has to remind me to "put the camera down" and "be". She always has good advice.. but of course, she got it from me! Just wait!!! Happy happy 4th!

[Shelly VanWormer]

Too bad someone else isn't always there to pick the camera right back up and take pictures of you blowing bubbles with your little Annie. That would be just as good (or probably better) of a shot as the one of her alone. Thanks for sharing. I always enjoy your blog.

[kate]

such a good post....some of us need to be reminded of just that...balance was always hard to me too so as a reminder i got the word balance tattooed on my hand inside a butterly...not for everyone else but for me....thanks again...i might just put the camera down this weekend and do a sparkler or two with my littles

[Tonia]

Great post. Enjoyed the "social crutch" comment. I am so guilty of doing the same. It also explains why I have thousands of photos of school functions yet very few of visits with my best friend and her family. Don't need a crutch during those times :)

[Cathy]

What a magical photo! Love the light in the trees, the bokeh! Love the little pink circle of the wand circling her mouth! Really - just love it!
Cathy Heine

[Cathy]

Thanks for this post! It did get me thinking....
It is a balance. And I also wonder what effect it has on my kids.
My camera is an appendage - it is a part of me. It's how I experience my world.

And gorgeous photo! love the colors....

[AnnieM]

Karen...I really do believe we are "soul sisters" in another life. When you describe yourself, i.e. "an all or nothing girl" I think "hey, me too!". Using your camera as a social crutch? Nothing makes me happier than to work a crowd, snapping as I go..don't have to talk too much with a camera in front of your face, do ya? And vacillating between "doing" and "recording"---sigh..a never ending battle with myself.
So many times I have seen myself in your posts. Thank you...you have given me more insight into how I tick than anyone else.

[Angie]

Okay, obviously we are twins seperated at birth. I never know when to put the camera down and get involved in the moment. And I use my camera as a crutch in social situations too. It's nice to know that as awesome a photographer as you are you have the same problems.

[Kim Hastie]

Hey Karen,
big big fan of yours. Love your photography and scrapbooking both. You could have been a writer too...you have a wonderful way of telling a story..

Anyhow...here is my question. I was at the Detroit Zoo today and took lots of pics there. I was wondering if you take pics at the zoo (or the farm, etc...). I'd love to see them if you do. I don't recall seeing you post pics of animals at all, and they are my passion:)

btw,I couldn't even begin to describe my social awkwardness;)

thanks for all the inspiration...your photos of your children constantly inspire me. I read your blog every day!!

Kim

[Piper]

Okay, you don't know me, I link to your page from a friends blog but I love your pictures so I keep coming back. I often struggle with putting the camera down to enjoy the moment (I have a 1 year old whose first year has been very well documented). However, I knew this could be a problem, so I often purpose to put it down and keep it down even when the urge to capture the image creeps up. When that happens I pray this prayer: "Lord, help to burn this image in my mind forever and enjoy these gifts of time you give me with this beautiful little girl." It helps me to appreciate and value the ability for my mind to capture a moment and memory rather than having to stress about getting all the perfect shots on "film". That being said, I take thousands of pictures, too :). Just thought this might encourage someone because let's be honest, we all have the cutest kids in the world and we are continually in a "perfect shot" moment.

[Debbie]

Oooo Karen, such a sweet shot of Annie and I love that luscious bokeh! Balance was my word this year...I really struggle with it! Happy 4th to you & your family!!

[kat-in-texas]

Great words of wisdom...but what's the answer? ha.

The point and shoot I used on our vacation was STOLEN from my car the day we came home. Thank goodness I had removed my "good" camera (that I barely used on our vacation) from the car earlier in the day. So sad I can't get those pics back! We even had video on that camera....:(

Moral: NEVER leave anything in your car you don't want stolen...they used a screwdriver to pop the lock out of the doorhandle....creeps!

[Rhonda M]

I love to read your blog and this one really touched home. Since taking your amazing class, I definately feel like the gal behind the camera. There are some great advantages to putting the camera down and relying on memory!! 1) my kids are always smiling and very cooperative! 2) I am thinner and always have perfect hair in my memory! :) It is definately a balancing act!!

[Sandy Brown]

What a great photo of Annie!! And now, I can evaluate a bit in terms of viewpoint and composition (thanks to you!). As for balance, of course, you want to get shots of those precious moments. But, at some future time, Annie might not remember that you took the picture -- but she will remember that you blew bubbles with her. . ..

[Jennifer]

Karen, its amazing how much us photo obsessed moms all have in common. Yes I struggle with this balance too and sometimes it takes one of the kids asking me to put the camera down to wake me up. I like to think I listen to my gut more now too. ( the husband complains more than any of the kids tho!!!) And I LOVE to use my camera in social situaltions! We all do that and thats pretty funny too. Its a great converstaion starter too!

[debbie susee]

I love that you said you use your camera as a crutch in social situations. I do the same thing!(Ieven did a scrapbook page about it.) Thank you for admitting it and making me feel better about myself. Besides, as other people have said, other people have their crutches too. At least with ours, we get good photographs. :)

[Lynn]

Great advice Karen!!!!